Ever since Old Lou retired as my barber, and now I get my hair cut at one of those SuperMegaSportyHyperCuts places, my main source of tall tales has come from the local gun shop, or LGS.

The latest one I heard is pretty good. A typical high-speed, low-drag operator was talking about his time on 'detail' at an undisclosed location in Washington, and was discussing the anti-drone and chopper guns they had.

He went on to describe a 'metal storm' gun that fires bullets at such a rate that they shred the hovering offender.

Sure, Bud.


Does anyone else know any super-secret-squirrels who hang around with us common folk ?

Any other good LGS stories of dubious origin ? Have at it !

FWIW

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Now go make God proud...

I'm not saying the gun doesn't exist....just that HE didn't have anything to do with one.

I'd hate to have to pay for the ammo

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Forum consigliere

And I'm a retired SEAL.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

So why didn't you call him on it?

And Glocks don't set off metal detectors!

I have met more ex-navy seals than I think ever served in the entire history of navy seals

Mostly meet them at: gunshows, the gun range, gun shops

Unless I see someone in need or danger, I am typically a MYOB sort of guy.

I really dread thinking about my old country barber retiring but it will probably be soon, he is crowding 80 now. He always has a tale to tell and usually puts himself in the first person dialog. His latest is he is catching a whole lot of fish, more than anyone in the county. The local game warden hears about this and decides to follow him on his next fishing trip. A.C. says he invites him into the boat with him, they go out to deeper water and A.C. says "I light a stick of dynamite and throw it overboard, fish float up everywhere". The warden says that's illegal, I will have to arrest you, A.C. says " I lit another stick and handed it to him and said, You gonna fish or talk!. Do I believe any of his tales....of course not, but when someone's cutting your hair you don't cause a problem!

I met a guy that had Marlin Mountie for sale new in the box. He told me directions to his house and said I'd see a Rebel flag in his yard. Went to his house and commented that that flag must make him "popular" in his neighborhood being there is a large black population. He asked if I knew why he flew that flag which of course I didn't. He asked if I'd heard of Jeb Stuart which I had. Well he said, "I rode with old Jeb" till a Yankee shot him in his side. Yikes! This guy had to be about 150 years old for that whopper to be true!
FWIW he raised the price on the rifle and I declined to buy it at his new price. Which I still regret.

I used to work with a young guy that said he was an Army sniper. He supposedly smuggled his "Sniper M16" home in pieces but the problem was no one new how to put it back together again. Having owned a few AR's I called his bluff telling him to bring it around and I'd take a look. He said that being it was a "Sniper" model it was completely different than your garden variety AR/M16, so he declined my offer.

I've got the best of both worlds: my LGS is also a barber shop. and I hear all the gossip plus all the good gun stories. we do have a retired Navy UDT CPO that hangs out a lot and he has called several out on their claims. they usually don't ever come back. lee

Of course I do.
I know a bunch of em, but if I tell ya, they'll have to kill us all!

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

We used to have a dude that would come in every couple of weeks and talk all about his exploits in the Army Special Forces. Guy was about 30 and spent a bit of money so I put up with his tall tales. We have a good number of customers that are active duty operators and it's funny cause if you don't know them you would never know what they do for a living. You might notice they are all in really good shape physically and many have longish hair and beards but if you don't know the look you will not know who they are. I have never heard a single one brag about the work they do. Maybe if you know them really well and are having a couple of beers a few stories might be told but they don't brag much. Anyway, three of my MARSOC buddys had just come back from a bad place and sure enough the "SF" dude comes in and was looking for some kind of hi speed low drag something and asked if I wanted to see the M4 prototype he was working on for his buds at Brag. The guy is working security at the college here not in the Army any longer. Sure, bring it in. He returns with a storm case with an AR15 inside that had so much **** bolted on it must have weighted 15 lbs and starts to talk about jumping out of C 130's. The three Marines wearing jeans and leather jackets having ridden their Harleys from Jacksonville were standing by listening about how many bad guys the dude had killed with gun and knife and I noticed they were paying a lot of attention. They began asking questions about airplanes and parachutes and other interesting subjects and the dude was making up BS answers until he was being challenged and I could see he was a little afraid. I caught the eye of one of the Gunnys and he and the others backed off and let the dude save face. They were not threatening him just letting him know they knew he was full of it. After he paid for his purchase the dude left and my buddys apologized but said "man sometimes we just get tired of hearing that ****". I understood exactly what they meant.

I tell girls I'm an Army SEAL. I figure if I can make em believe that I've got a good chance with them.

I knew it all along.

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That's just somebody talkin.

You don't want to know an ex SEAL. Marines are bad enough.

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That's just somebody talkin.

In my limited experience on this earth, I've found that the guys who really do the 'dirt' are those least likely to talk about it.

One dealer that I know well built a new shop with rifle and pistol
as well as a trap range. In his old shop he sold a little of every
thing, but mostly middle and hi end sporting guns. When he got
new shop he put in a good supply of black guns and tactical
accessories. He was actually doing alright on sales of this stuff.
He quit carrying the stuff in stock. I ask him why, he said he
could not stand the new crowd that had started loafing at his
shop. He got tired of hearing about secret missions and black
OPs that these Drug Store Cowboys had been on. So secret that
there was no record of them in existence.

"but when someone's cutting your hair you don't cause a problem!"

Smart Man

We have a new local "rifle smith" who was supposed to be doing some accurate rifles. My REAL riflesmith visited his shop, unknown to this guy who he was.

They started talking accurate rifles and it was apparent this guy was a huge poser. Turns out he did deliver a built rifle, but farmed ALL of the work out.

My friend asked to see his machinery and his shop...Guy tells him... "I can't show you, as I work on a lot of secret stuff for the Special Forces community. You would need a Top Secret clearance".

Don't even start me on the Snipers and other SF folks I have run into when behind a gun show table. You never meet a guy who was a clerk or a cook. LOL.

"He went on to describe a 'metal storm' gun that fires bullets at such a rate that they shred the hovering offender."

The "metal storm" gun exists and has been around for a long time, but I don't think any of them were ever sold. It works, but highly impractical.

Well yea, they're made of porcelain

We all do, welcome to our tax dollars at work.

I jumped out of Apaches before.

I sure miss those old time Barber Shops I used to go into with my Dad when I was little. A fine "regular man's haircut" and much entertainment.

The manager of my LGS is a retired Army officer and never talks about his time in Iraq and Afghanistan unless we don't have an audience. Even then, he never brags or talks about the horrors of combat. With a little experience, you can sure spot the posers.

I was in a FA battery that started with M102s and switched to M109s. ONCE I saw our 6 gun battey fire a volley of 105mm flechette rounds from our M102s. I've seen a "metal storm", or at least it looked like it from where I was standing.

That's because Glocks are magic.

Heard so many. People with Lazer like shooting. Can't miss the X using a Derringer with just a primer for a charge at a 100 yards

Somebody explain to how a 9mm is going to take down a missile before it hits the ship?

I'd just like to hear where in metropolitan Washington DC all those rounds landed after shredding the drone . . .

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

OK, I'm calling for a sample on that one!!!

I have deployed many seals in various covert locations .... you have to when you overhaul any engine.

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it just needs more voltage

Went to a friends office for lunch on Marine Corps birthday in 02 or 03. The friend was a lance corporal in 66 and after GI bill an officer in 70's, one of his employees had been a Gunny in the 80's. My #2 son was enlisted at this time. Since it was The Birthday, He introduced them as "The only 2 Marines who were never Snipers in Lebanon". Ivan

I hate to bust your bubble, but Metal Storm is real. It looks like a stack of harmonicas and the rounds are stacked one on top of the other and are fired electrically. There are a number of versions ranging from handgun size to tank sized, with the fastest one firing one million rounds per minute. I was involved with evaluating it for US Navy shipboard defense.

https://www.google.com/search?q=meta...0CDoQsAQ&dpr=1

See above for more info.

I found that most People that brag up a storm are just telling stories to make Themselves look big.
My Father in Law worked for NASA for years and I have yet to hear Him tell any stories and I know He worked on a lot of cool stuff.
And I am the only Person My age that wasnt at Woodstock!

What makes you think it is a 9mm?

Well I would like to talk about the things I did in the Army, but this stuff is so secret that I'd have to kill you before I could tell you.

I am reminded of the guy who went by the handle PolymathPioneer for while around here.

Easy now. I did not go to Woodstock either. And yes, I was old enough to go.

My current job brings me into contact with a lot of active-duty military personnel, many of them heading overseas. True story here:

A couple of years ago I encountered a young man in his 30s, wearing a camouflage-pattern uniform I had never seen, which really stood out in the group he was with. At first I thought it was a USMC camo pattern, but I quickly realized it was somehow different.

Above his left breast pocket was a US NAVY tab, above his right pocket was his name, and in the center of his chest was a single gold oak leaf. There were no other markings of any kind anywhere on his uniform: No flag, no unit insignia, no badges, nothing.

I looked at him and said "Lieutenant Commander, you had me puzzled for a minute there...at first I thought you were a Marine." He smiled.

I said: "What do you do in the Navy?" He looked at me evenly and said only six words: "I make bad people go away."

I thanked him for his service and wished him well...

I agree, as a former LEO, I'm always a bit nervous around a person with a. straight razor in their hand!.
olcop

I miss those LGS. They're all fading away here...........

I didn't go to Woodstock either, although I was taken to the Woodshed many times!!

I used to be a seal, now I'm just a walrus...

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James Redfield
LM #497

No, I too missed Woodstock...I was on duty at the "Big Deuce" at the happy sandbox in NJ formerly known as Ft. Dix. We had good green eggs, by the square-head tho...

Boox

It was not military stories around our local gun story. It was elk stories. The owner proudly bragged that more elk had been killed in his shop than the entire state of Colorado had afield. When I was escorting deer and elk hunters us guides knew within hours who we were going to have to babysit. The loader they talked the more trouble we would have. My FIL flew ball turret in a B-17, 33 times and never told but one funny story.

Those that say the most have done the least.

Reminds me . . . I was in the Air Force. There's a guy at my gym who was Airborn, 101st.

We got to talking one day, and I said, "I'd never jump out of a perfectly good plane."

He said, "I never rode in a perfectly good plane."

If you can remember Woodstock you weren't there.

So how can you be so sure you weren't.

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That's just somebody talkin.

I found one of those old fashioned barber shops with outdoor magazines and the barber was into guns and hunting. I told him great as you gave me a good haircut and I'll be coming back. That's when he told me he was closing up shop and moving north. I haven't found another since but they used to be all like that when I was a kid. One of my buddy's dad owned one like that and often we would stop on the way home from school just to hang out and listen to the talk. It was there that I learned the 22 magnum cartridge was one of the best deer rounds ever invented. Yeah I believed it as what did I know?
Most of what I hear at the LGS are people who obviously know very little about guns but want to act like they do. They just wind up showing their ignorance but I suppose it seems unmanly not to know everything about guns.
I've never been around many posers myself. Most service members I know are rather low key about what they did. I did have a guy in the break room at work once tell me all about his time in Vietnam and it was obvious in a few minutes he hadn't served a day in his life. I did give him a pass though as he seemed to be mentally impaired.