1. Your photograph shows on a "Shoppers at Walmart" site.
2. The pretty young girl walking ahead of you holds the door open for you and says: "Let me get that for you, sir."
3. Your child asks you if you ever heard of a song called "Stairway to Heaven."
4. A certain part of your body is more interested in your shoes and flooring than the ceiling.
5. You still have urges but they now involve the bathroom.
6. You are wrestling with your grandchildren and someone says to them don't hurt grandpa and you are thankful to hear it.

Yep! And she smiles too! Now, I just smile back.

The first few times it happened I got a little excited.

But, then I realized she was comfortable smiling because she considered me "harmless".

A couple of years before I retired I stopped to get cup of coffee at the start of my shift. A police lieutenant held the door for me and said "You go first, sir."

I knew it was getting close to time to leave.

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Can open, worms everywhere.

The 20 something guy behind the counter at the fast food restaurant that you have gone to for 30 years starts calling you "pops".

When I worked production at the RubberMaid Commercial Products factory, the new guys would get trained in how to do the job. After a coupla weeks they'd send them to me to show them how to do it fast while still producing a quality product.
Rarely would they be more than half my age.
I'd make it a race and It'd make me feel good when they'd say something like, "Hurry up old man!" or "Step it up pop's!"
I'd think, "My work here is done."

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Keep on Chooglin'

I try to wrap my head around hearing "Sir" from the sweet things
but it's preferable to being called "creepy old guy".

How about getting your first senior discount. :-(

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Release the Kraken

It's been so long ago I've forgotten what it was like.

Generation X BAD Signs:

When Silverchair and Pearl Jam are considered the new "Adult Contemporary."

When you have kids older than your DR.

Nope, its when they start automatically giving you the senior discount without asking.

For me it was at the local pay-to-play fishing lake. Gave the guy my .mil ID to get the .mil discount on a boat rental & he told me the senior discount was more... kinda mixed emotions on that one...

When you buy beer at Wal-Mart and that message pops up that asks the cashier "Is customer under 40?" and they just blow right through it . . . .

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

We got a couple stores around here that do to being cough and got in some trouble now card everybody. It tends to get smiles from some people.

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14 S&W Revs none with locks!

Had another one but decided it would get me an automatic ding so.....holding my tongue.

When you realize the cutie you want to flirt with has a mother who is too young for you also.

Or ''old fart'' which happened to me the first time when I was 37 or 38?

When we were expecting our first grandchild it occurred to me that along with this great milestone came some baggage. This event turns you into grandpa, paw-paw, pops, or any of a number of other common monikers. While a mark of respect, it also didn't sit well with me as it was an indicator of advanced age. My wife was particularly aghast at being "Grandma".

Discussing this with our children, we made it clear we wanted to choose our own grand-parental nicknames. She went with "Lovey". I went with "Grandude".

It worked! we're up to four now, and while only the first has gotten to the point where he can fully enunciate "Grandude", the only other verbal one just calls me "Dude" like the first one did early in speech.

Unfortunately "Lovey" comes out like "Wa-Wa", so the wife has to wait a bit longer for them to get it.

Works for me. Feel free to use this idea.

My 5yo grandson was ok till he put on my hat, my sunglasses and strutted around with my cane saying I'm grandpa. He's cute.

Hey Brothers & Sisters, I am 74, so "it is what it is"!

Enjoy it while you can!

My new daughter in law and an old girlfriend both called me papa on the same day

Bought a 3X4' solid maple cutting board at a yard sale. The two young girls (10-13) asked me if I needed help loading it. Pride made me say no but damn it was heavy.

Hit 50 and the AARP junk showed in the mailbox

The DMV clerk changes the hair color, on your new licence, from "gray" to "meat".

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

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Been up since before breakfast

When your Barber spends more time trimming your ear hairs than the top of your head.

I used to bag groceries at a local store after I retired from my "real" job.

One day while bagging, I noticed a little boy, about three years old, standing beside me, sort of dancing like he had to go pee. When he caught me watching him, he sprang to near Marine full attention. "I'm not being bad. I'm just nervous."

Odd thing for a kid to say I thought to myself.

Then his mother caught my eye, winked and said, "He thinks you're Santa Clause."

SO...when kids think, just because you're old, fat, and have white hair and beard, you're Santa Clause...that's a sign.

(To finish the story, I winked at the kid and said, "You never know. Do you?")

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John 3:16 .

I'm just glad those A*RP people have finally left me alone.

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Isaiah 41:10

My "moment" was 38+ years ago when I placed a box of Pampers on the grocery store conveyor belt. Suddenly, all the giggle and tickle stopped with the gorgeous check out girl.

I was just another old pervert to her.

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... a little behind in my work

If I said, "Yeah, I remember that and a song called "Hound Dog". They would say, 'HUH?"

PS "Witch Doctor" was one of my early favorites.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

60 is the new 40 or so they say. I ain't old yet. When I'm behind the bar the girls still flirt. I know it's just because I have what they want (liquor) but I'll take it!

When what you used to do all night, now takes all night to do...

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NULLI SECUNDUS

An easy out in that situation, is just tell her she is the most beautiful cashier you have ever seen. Believe me, it not only flatters them, but melts them and they stay human from now on. I've got about ten women I tell that to when I see them where they work. Their smiles can make a bad day, a good day. They know I'm serious about another lady, but they take the compliments anyway.

Went to the walk in doctors conglomerate where they have a couple dozen docs in every specialty you can imagine and the guy they gave me to was a specialist in.......geriatrics. just about spoiled the rest of my day.

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Back to back World War Champs.

My last two GPs were gynecologists.I think my ex thought she was funny

That's getting in touch with your feminine side.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

The embarrassment would be worth getting close to that life energy. Some might suck in and maybe I wouldn't go to sleep in my chair every night.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

And the sad thing is that it's true.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

Those cookies that people leave for me don't last all year and I have to buy groceries.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

And it's a damn good thing.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

The embarrassment would be worth getting close to that life energy. Some might suck in and maybe I wouldn't go to sleep in my chair every night.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

My cure for the AARP ****, two .303 bullet holes (1914 SMLE No. I Mk II*) in my "temporary" membership card. Sent it back to them, never heard another word

De Oppresso Liber

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Keep on Chooglin'

Yup! I cringed the first time I heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit" on the local classic rock station. Cobain killed himself about 5 weeks before my HS graduation. One really disturbing fact is that Justin Bieber was born on the same day as Nirvana's last concert.

The AARP junk NEVER stops coming! It's been 12 years and they still keep trying to sell me insurgence I don't need.....or want.

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Witzell
"The dude abides".

I just wrote REFUSED on mine and sent it back, never got another one.

So? I don't get AARP but all the other junk goes directly in the trash.

As much as I hate to say it I think the AARP and the NRA use the same group for mailing advice!!
Jim

I've come to realize that when a very pretty young woman smiles at me, it's because I remind her of her father.

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Can open, worms everywhere.

When I see an attractive young lady I mumblr, " I have holsters older than her..."