”I don't care who you are, fatso. Get the reindeer off my roof!”

Sherlock's favorite Christmas song:
"I'll be Holmes for Christmas"

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What is green, covered with tinsel and goes "ribbet ribbet"? A mistle-"toad"!

What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
"'Tis the season to be jelly!"

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crummy!

What kind of money do they use at the North Pole? Cold cash!

I keep Christmas in my heart every month of the year. That's because it's on my charge card statement that long!

Why is Christmas just like another day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

CHRISTMESS: Five minutes after the gifts are opened!

What kind of music do elves like best?
"Wrap" music!

Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
Elfis!





WuzzFuzz

__________________
Music/Sports/Beer fan

Thank you, Merry Christmas.

Papa Elf

thanks for the laughs i needed that back to da honey doo s

Thanks! I Needed a chuckle after cleaning up after the storm!!

Oldie but goody:
Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."