This is inspired by Hardware's thread about his slippers gettin' tossed. It's a little bit different and I didn't want to hijack.

This is just ONE of the reasons I put wife #1 on the street.

The year was 1967. I hadn't been home from the service but just over a year. I was working part time and going to college full time. Wifey was working but things were tough money wise.

I took the chance and bought me a brand new pair of hunting boots. Water proof. Insulated. a very very good and comfy pair of boots. Not that I was able to afford to do a lot of hunting but I decided to go for it. I figured it'd be better to do it and beg forgiveness than ask permission and get shut down. I paid $69.95 for them. That was a bit of money in 1967.

My part time job required me to drive around town here and there and I couldn't really afford to buy my lunch so I mostly brown bagged it. Wifey would usually make my lunch for me. Two sammiches, one PB&J and one lunch meat and cheese. A small bag of chips and piece of fruit. I was constantly having to remind her to put more than one slice of lunch meat on the sammich. I later figured out that she was just doing that to pull my chain.

One day after just such a sammich I came home and jumped right straight in her **** about it. She didn't say anything just gave me "the look". We went on with our evening and I forgot all about it.

The next day I pulled into this little park I liked when I was in that area at noon and turned Paul Harvey's syndicated show on the car radio. Always like Mr. Harvey.

I ate the PB&J first and then took the lunch meat sammich out and unwrapped it. It felt more...substantial. I tried to take a bite and couldn't bite through it. I opened it up and couldn't believe what I was looking at. No! NOOOOO!

I rushed straight home and went to my closet. I pulled out one of my new hunting boots and checked it out. It seemed fine. I took the other one and looked inside and my worst fears were realized...THE TONGUE WAS MISSING...GONE...NOT THERE!!!

Wifey was at work so I had some time to think what to do. I felt like there were only two possible responses. Kill her of just let it go. Neither one of us ever spoke of it. I continued to use the boots putting a piece of cardboard where the tongue used to be. Wore them many years after I sent wifey #1 packin'. But every time I wore them I thought about what a rotten ***** she was and how glad I was that she was gone.

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Real men love cats!

I had a lot of things with the first wife, but nothing like that!

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Only difference Fool/Mule-ears

Sounds like you are better off being rid of wife #1.......but you gotta give her "style points" on how she got you back.

Don

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Laus Deo! <><

I suppose you're right Don but I'd rather give her a 2 x 4 over the head.

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Real men love cats!

Why does it cost so much to get divorced? Because it's worth it!

Try not to dwell on it, Walkin' Jack, that was almost 50 years ago. Let it go, bro....

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"Life is short, hunt hard"

"Today's Wife" would just tell you to make your own damn samich!. Mine sure would!

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Still Running Against the Wind

Reminds me of the guy who opened his lunch and complained every day that it was cheese and bologna again. Finally a co-worker said: "Why don't you tell your wife to make a different kind of sandwich?"

Guy says: "That wouldn't work, I pack my own lunch."

Would have saved yourself a lot of grief if you'd done the same.

A man was sitting at home one evening, feeling kinda glum. His wife asked him, "Why so glum?"

He said, " Do you remember that terrible, terrible fight we had about 21 years ago?" "Yes, I do. Why?" "Well, after the fight was over, I went down to Joe's Bar and told him I was sooo mad at you, I could KILL you! Joe told me I'd get 20 years and talked me out of it."

His wife said, "So, why are so glum tonight?"

"I'd be out of jail now."

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John 3:16
WAR EAGLE!

My ex-wife stashed my Russell's Birdshooter boots somewhere and I couldn't find them until she gave me my things when we split. The boots had been gotten wet and were dried out and cracked. Those were not cheap boots, and they had a lot of sentimental value.

Women. You can't live with them, and you can't... Well, never mind, I'm not taking the hit for finishing that thought...

I lost several revolvers, two pairs of boots, a chainsaw, some model tractors and...................................................................................................


a TON of money!

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John 3:16
WAR EAGLE!

They are not generally so keen on the revolvers, boots, and chainsaws but the money sure seems to be popular...

My wife and I made a deal. Whoever left had to take the kids with them.
We are still together 42 years later, although the kids are grown and gone.

My wife is (and always was) also too frugal to ruin a good pair of boots over a sandwich.

Ruining an expensive pair of boots is a crime in itself. My middle nephew's wife ruined the revolver he gave her for protection, by leaving it un-protected under her car seat. Many-a-times she left the windows oipen on the car and of course-lotas rain got in. About a year ago, my nephew was replcing some electrical things on her car because her car "wouldnt work" and he decided to look for the gun. Found it under the seat--rusted to heck. :-((

I guess one thing good for Jack, was that at least it was only a boot-and not one of his guns. :-))

It's been twenty years since my third wife (absolutely the right one) died. It's generally too much trouble to remember the stuff that the first two and I did to each other. I'm lazy that way.

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Oh well, what the hell.

:I guess one thing good for Jack, was that at least it was only a boot-and not one of his guns. :-)) "

You got THAT right!

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Real men love cats!

That is low, Jack. Mighty low. Good riddance, for sure, to that one.

I came back from a business trip and found my 3 crates of LPs gone. I was incredulous, all the original Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Rush and many others many individual records were easily worth $250 a piece. She sold them all, all three crates, to Half-price books for $50, and she was so proud that she got all that money for those old records that took up so much space. I shook my head dropped my suitcase and went out that night with the boys until 5 am.

I really feel for you Rick, I'm catching up in the Lounge and the last posts in the last three threads I've seen involved 8 months with the in laws, a truck load of Pigeon Forge trinkets and now the loss of your vinyl.
You must have the patience of a saint. If I was on a road trip with a woman like that I'd be sore tempted to stop in the middle of a tall bridge.

Har har, maybe Jack shoulda retaliated by cutting the carry straps off her favorite purse? Nah, he's a true gent and wouldnt lower himself to her level.

Jack if she also wrote hot checks I may have been married to her sister.

My job moved me half way across the state. The ex jad a week long yard sald, sold all , y poles, camping stuff, boots and coats. My son expected me to go to prison. Side note all of my kids begged me to divorce her but back then the guy never won.

I went to WM amd bought a Coleman 2 burner cause they did not have a 3 burner .I, e my old one. Brought it home amd said if you ever sell one of my thimgs again I will cook your lard butt on this. Sevefal years later she cleaned out my bank account via forgery. The kods and I sent her back to her parents. Cost me a big gun collection but I got the kids. I still have tje Coleman in the original box, never used it. I found a ton of ca, ping stuff at one yard sale, the owner was selling it. Nevef had to use the new one.