The bartender says: "Where do you people think you are? The Smith&WessonForum?"

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Frosty
S&WCA # 2816

In an attempt (successful) to lift my spirits, a friend passed this bit of info on to me:


Moosylvania is a fictional island and micronation located in the Lake of the Woods along the Canada–United States border that served as a plot device in The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.

In the fall of 1962, Jay Ward, producer of the Rocky and Bullwinkle show, decided to campaign for statehood for Moosylvania. Ward sent Skip Craig to Minnesota to buy an island in the Lake of the Woods. Craig wasn't able to find one for sale on the U.S. side of the lake (most of the islands in that lake are claimed by Canada), but managed to lease one for three years.

Ward and publicist Howard Brandy conducted a west-to-east cross-country tour in a decorated van, gathering signatures on a petition for statehood for Moosylvania. While in Washington, D.C., they sought an audience with President John F. Kennedy.

However, they arrived at the White House and were escorted off the grounds at gunpoint by extremely serious Marines and Secret Service.

Turns out they arrived at the White House the day the Cuban Missile Crisis was happening, but hadn't yet been released to the public.

Statehood was never granted.....

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Halfway and one more step

Moosylvania... Bullwinkle Moose vacationed there
because "after two weeks here, anyplace else feels like heaven!".

(Note: This comes from my nephew, who is currently majoring in information technology)

Two Arab exchange students are talking.

"Well, I'm going to a place with 72 virgins!"

"What?? You're planning a suicide bombing?"

"Nope, headed for my computer science seminar."

Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.

Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have," she said: "I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, and I voted twice for *****"

She starts work in the morning! 🍋

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Wherever my mind isn't
Jim

Seamus walks into the same Dublin bar every night and orders three bears and drinks from each in turn instead of one at a time. Eventually the bartender tells him that he will get colder beer if he orders and drinks one at a time. Seamus says "no, I drink one for me and one for each of my brothers just like we used to when we were altogether here in Dublin. You see one has moved to America and the other to Australia." The bartender thinks this a nice custom and this goes on for several more years until one night Seamus orders two bears. Startled, the bartender tells Seamus that he is sorry for his loss. Seamus says, "What loss? Oh, I have just stopped drinking!"

Try to say “Irish wristwatch”.

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Frosty
S&WCA # 2816

Let's fathers of daughters be sporting:

Two steps sound fair?

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."

The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street did you live on in Dublin?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."

The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."

About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."

The guy asks, "Why do you say that?"

"The Murphy twins are drunk again."

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Frosty
S&WCA # 2816

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get your drunk butt off the merry-go-round!

My answer is better. Wait until Monday night. Everyone know the Lions never win on Monday nights.

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So many S&W's, so few funds!!

A nun and a novice were driving through the Irish countryside when a devil suddenly materialized on the hood of their car.

Novice: Oh My! What shall we do?

Nun: Quick! Show him your cross.

Novice: [Sticking her head out the window and screaming] Get your ugly self off of our car, you despicable creature! 😤

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Wherever my mind isn't
Jim

An Irish man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says we're having a special, $5.00 for an endless mug, you drink it, I fill it up as many times as you want. The guy puts $10 on the bar and says gimme two.
Regards,
turnerriver

__________________
turnerriver

Not a joke, but saw a sign a while back. It was at a local community center, and said "Woman sale!"

I thought that was now illegal?

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Common sense isn't so common.

Two antennas get married. The ceremony wasn't out of the ordinary but the reception was great!

Sorry folks! That is the cleanest joke I know! I had typed out a long joke that is my all time favorite but deleted it before posting because it might have been a little vulgar.

An elderly gent was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names.' The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Don

Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were making merry in a serious way and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big. His curiosity finally got the better of him and he says "I hate to be nosey, but it's obvious that you two are celebrating something big. What's the occasion?"

One blonde replies, "Well, we are just sooo proud of ourselves, because we just finished - just the two of us alone - a 50 piece jigsaw puzzle in only 3 days."

Confused, the bartender asks "What's so special about that?"

To which the other blonde says, "Are you kidding? On the box it says 3 - 5 years."

One day a Rabbi was walking and came upon the Town of Tridd,It was at the Base of a large Mountain.The Rabbi asked if Anyone ever climbed to the Top and One Tridd said They did once but a mean Giant kicked Them off,The Rabbi said that He would be happy to go up with Them and talk to the Giant so off They went up to the Top of the Mountain. As soon as They got there the Angry Giant ran up and Kicked all the Tridds off the Mountain.The Rabbi was concerned about what Happened and Asked the Giant why He did such a thing and the Giant replied, Silly Rabbi Kicks are for Tridds. (Sorry for the bad joke but its the only clean one I could think of).

Ole ran into Sven on the street and Sven says "Ole you need better shades on your windows in your house. I could see you and Lena kissing throught them last nite." Ole says " the jokes on you Sven, I wasn't even home last nite."

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Well done > well said

Two friends were sitting and talking.
One asked the other, "What is the one thing you want to do most
before you die?
"Attend my ex wife's funeral," he replied.

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NRA Benefactor/Cert Instructor

A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in LA and he's stopped in traffic and thinks, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual; we're not even moving.”
He notices a police officer walking down the highway in between the cars and he rolls down his window and says, “Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?”
“O.J. just found out the verdict, he's all depressed. He's lying down in the middle of the highway and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire. He just doesn't have $8.5 million dollars for the Goldmans'. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him.”
The man says, “Oh really, how much have you got so far.”
“So far....10 gallons.”


_______________________
I don't have Alzheimer's- My wife had me tested.

Almost forgot about this one:

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists...

Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.

In side of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes." I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.

She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

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I don't have Alzheimer's- My wife had me tested.

A priest returning from a wedding late on a rainy night failed to negotiate a corner and went into the ditch and rolled his car. He lay in the grass all beat up and bloodied. A well "oiled" driver coming from the other direction, returning home from a late night at the Moose Club noticed the overturned car in the ditch, and pulled over to see if he could help. When he saw the battered priest laying there, he asked " father are you all right?" The priest responded " yes son, I have the lord with me". Where upon the inebriated fellow replied " well father, you better let him ride with me; your gonna kill him".

__________________
John

Bob walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was just coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building about to jump.


The blonde looks at Bob and says, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob says, "You know, I bet he will."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Bob.

"Fair is fair," she says. "Here's your money."

Bob replies, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I saw that too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

The older I get, the funnier this gets.


A rich old man goes golfing with his friends and he brings along a gorgeous young lady.

"Well guys, meet my new fiancée" he says, full of pride. And for the rest of the afternoon the friends can't take their eyes off the beauty.

After the round of golf the rich man goes up to the bar to order drinks for the group. One of his friends accompanies him and quietly asks: "how did you manage to hook up with such a beautiful young lady? You're seventy. She must be at least forty years younger than you!"

"I lied about my age"

"And she believed you!? How old did you say you were?"

"I told her I was ninety"

Regards,
turnerriver

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turnerriver

Here's one my 13 year old daughter told me this morning:

Q: How do you think the unthinkable?
A: With an itheburg.

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USS Brewton FF1086
SWCA#3597

Back when John Cooper coached the Ohio State Buckeyes, this made the airwaves during a particular bad season............

What do Billy Graham and John Cooper have in common?

They both can make 70,000 people jump up and yell "JESUS CHRIST".

Dave

I had to think about that one for a minute.

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Back to back World War Champs.

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabu, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime,the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and with a smile, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

My 7 year old grandsons favorite.
A convict is paroled and out of jail. He is ecstatic jumping around and screaming "I'm Free, I'm Free".
A young girl watching turns to her mother and says " That's nothin, I'm four". [said with a slight lisp]

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Front sight and squeeze

The traveling salesman's car broke down and he asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer said, "Yes, but you'll have to share a bed with my teenage son."

The salesman said, "I gotta get out of here, I'm in the wrong joke!"

===================

Two fellows who had just met were getting acquainted over a round of golf. Playing ahead of them was a pair of women who were playing very slowly taking extra time at the tee, searching for errant balls, and so forth. The men were becoming increasingly frustrated at being held up.

Finally one of the men said, "I'm going to ask those two ladies if we can play through." He started walking towards them but partway there, he stopped, turned around and came hustling back. "I can't go speak to those women - one is my wife and the other is my mistress!"

His partner laughed and said, "Alright, I'll go ask them if we can play through." He also went partway there, stopped and then hustled back.

"Small world," he said.

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".

__________________
Frosty
S&WCA # 2816

Three elderly gentlemen were on the 5th green. It was a pleasant morning & all seemed to be having a good time.

One commented "I would like to play more often if it wasn't so expensive."

"Why expensive?" asked another.

"I had to promise my wife that new car she's been wanting to get her to let me play today." he answered.

The third said "you got off easy, I had to commit to remodeling the kitchen, heaven only knows how much that's gonna cost me."

The second said "you guys just don't know how to handle a woman. No need for such promises, I got up this morning, stretched & groaned, I said 'gett'en a little stiff & think it's time for exercise, what do you think, golf course or intercourse ?'"

She said "better take a sweater, the weather is starting to cool."

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "What is this Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son......

"Go get your Mother"

Guy walks into a bar with his talking dog. Bets everybody in the bar $10 each his dog can talk. All bets taken he tells the dog to speak.....NOTHING. Guy pays up, grabs the dog by his leash and snatches him out the door. Out side the guy says "Why didn't you say something?" Dog says, "Think what the odds will be tomorrow night."

A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad hailstorm... Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop

The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun...

He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened..

So she blew a little harder, & still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?'

The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!

You need to roll up the windows first.'

It was a hot, dry, dusty day in the little Texas town when a cowboy rode up and got off his horse in front of the only bar in town.

A group of the local residents idly watched him tie his horse to the rail and then were incredulous to see what happened next. The cowboy walks around behind his horse, lifts up the horse's tail and kisses him right square on the butt.

Well the townspeople were fit to be tied and one of them asks the cowboy, "What was the for?"

The cowboy replies, "Chapped lips."

Well, the townspeople think about this for a bit and then another one asks him, "That cures it?"

The cowboy replies, "Nope. But it sure keeps me from licking my lips."

__________________
Frosty
S&WCA # 2816

Why do the Swiss put Bells on Their Cows?

Answer: Because the Horns dont work.

oh how I wish I could make a comparison to a political party strategy....
But I dasn't.

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Halfway and one more step

A new fellow in town went to the golf club, and met some guys who'd just finished their round. Couple of beers and they were ready to break up, the regulars invited the new chap to come play, as one of their regular foursome was being transferred.
He was delighted and accepted enthusiastically, but said "I might be 15 minutes late." The regulars assured him it was no problem.
The next day, the new guy was right on time and shot a marvelous game.
The tee time was set again for Saturday, and the new fellow said "I might be 15 minutes late." No problem, he was assured that his skills were well worth any inconvenience, and he was indeed a likable guy.
Saturday came, the new man was on time and , played another very impressive round, including a hole in one and two eagles.
The group decided to play again Sunday, and the new fellow said "I might be..." "Hold it!" Interrupted his partner, "didn't you play left handed today?"

"Why, yes, I did." said new guy.
"But you played right handed last week..."
"Well, said the new fellow.... "If my wife is sleeping on her right side, I play right handed, and I always win....If she's sleeping on her left side, I play left handed, and I always win."
The inquisitive partner asked "But what if she's sleeping on her back?"
The new fellow smiled shyly and said...

"Then I'll be 15 minutes late."

__________________
Halfway and one more step

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"

"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?!" says the politician. "Those are the rules," replies St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy dissapears. He awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he's in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds... Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can't be right?

"Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C'mon, wakey wakey, we've only got 24 hours!" Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he's in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite... And there's a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. "Who are you??" The politician asks.

"Well, I'm Satan!" says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!"

"Wait, this is Hell? But... Where's all the pain and suffering?" he asks.

Satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we've been a bit misrepresented over the years, it's a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there's extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to look outside..."

Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course.

"It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!" says Satan, answering his unasked question.

So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cheerily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he's admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him.

Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked. As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging bread sticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear... And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After hours of passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep... and is woken up by St Peter.

"So, that was Hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I bet?" "No sir!" says the man. "So then," says St Peter. "You can make your choice. It's Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on."

"Well... I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I'd prefer Hell," says the politician. "Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!" says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other. "What's this??" He cries. "Where's the hotel?? Where's my wife??? Where's the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???"

"Ah", says Satan. "You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted."

__________________
Wherever my mind isn't
Jim

Wife takes husband to her High School reunion.

There's a guy on the dance floor break dancing, moon walking, back
flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy… 25 years ago he
proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment...

Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups.

Trying to get his ball back inplay, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden? POOF!!

In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life... better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!'

Then POOF!... she was gone!

After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?'

Fred yells back 'I'm over here in the ***** willows.'

Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!!!

__________________
Paul
Salome, AZ

A fellow, who was a vegetarian, was asked why he became a vegetarian. "Was it because he love animals?" He replied no, "I just hate plants."

__________________
Bill

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker dude steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
Feeling guilty, the biker says, "Come on, man, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with another man.....and then my dog bit me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve, then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, hell, enough about me.....how are you feeling?"

__________________
Paul
Salome, AZ

The bartender says "What do you think this is - a Jerry Springer show?"

__________________
Music/Sports/Beer fan

Password pet peeve

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