I have to admit, I shamelessly stole this off another forum - Thank you to scout943 on the Ruger forum.


This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.

Men Are Just Happier People.

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives OnDecember 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.


EATING OUT

�; When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.

MONEY

�; A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

�; A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

�; A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

�; The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

�; A woman has the last word in any argument.

�; Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

�; A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

�; A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

�; A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

�; A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

�; A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

�; A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

�; Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

�; Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

�; Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

�; A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

If it aint broken dont fix it.

For the most part, we really are. I guess we are so simple we don't understand how unhappy we really should be.

I love and respect the lady's dearly, (and this forum is blessed with some really Sharp ladies.) But thank God I was born a man, it makes life so much easier.

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Always Stay Strong!

Amen, brother!

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USS Brewton FF1086
SWCA#3597

To the OP.......that made Laugh-Out-Loud!!


Don

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Laus Deo! <><

A couple of more to add to the list - men don't have to deal with feeling lousy a few days every month - for 30 or 40 years. Or childbirth.

I thank God I was born male...

I've always made the observation to my wife, thank goodness I'm a male.

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Stay safe people!

If that part was up to us, the earth wouldn't have nearly the population it does now!

One thing I've noticed... I never wake up the wife in the middle of the night to check out a strange noise downstairs or a car idling in front of the house. And I don't grab Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Wesson when the wife wakes me.

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Join the NRA today

Yeah, if men had to give birth almost every one of us would be an only child...

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

I like them anyway.

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Hue 68 noli me tangere

I recently made the mistake of telling my GF (of 30 years) that my son...who has been married for 10 years, owns a house, boat, two cars, two Harley's, has two children, and is almost 40 years old, ... Well, I told her that he was getting a dog, specifically a St. Bernard. He has already ordered a brandy keg for it to wear around its neck in case he gets lost in the back yard in the snow. Makes perfect sense to me.

Well, I guess you guys know that the only mistake that I made was telling the GF. Now she is worried about all sorts of things that I would never have even thought of. The kids spend a lot of time on the river (like all summer)... Do St Bernard's like the water? Not only do I not know, I don't care. The "boy" is 38 years old. It is not my problem. I seldom go on the boat, and if I do, there is always the brandy keg.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

Good post, CATI1835!!!

Best Regards, Les

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SWCA 3084, SWHF 495, PGCA 3064

men are happier mostly because they don't have to live with men.....

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susie

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, its not meant to be inflammatory.

When my oldest boy was 5 he overheard a conversation about two men who were a couple, and who had just gotten married.

He seemed really perturbed by it, and when I asked him what was wrong he blurted out "Two men can't marry each other! They'd have way too much fun if there was no girls around...."

I gotta say the kid made a good argument. For which life choice, I'll let y'all decide.

For myself, the flying pan and the look my wife gave me at the time decided things for me. We're still happily married.

i haven't noticed any offensive matter in this thread, nor was my comment meant to be offensive.

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susie

Nothing about your comment, I thought it was a good one! I sometimes say inappropriate things is all so I try to throw a disclaimer in because I never know.

Ouch .

Old joke:

Do you know why most married men die before their wives do?

Because they can.

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So many S&W's, so few funds!!

That is not an argument we would have ever thought of...

"My hormones are out of whack," said no man ever.

You have not seen my mother in law when she plants another husband and burns through his life savings in 18 minutes.

If I was a women... I would not date me.

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Carpriver.

I don't know if we are happier but it's just so much easier to tick the ladies off.

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Why duck?? It's a 9mm!

I read part of the first chapter of Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus before I closed the book. It explained to me quickly men and women are not meant to cohabitate.

I want to write a book entitled Men Are From Earth, Women Are From Earth, So Freaking Live With It.

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Oh well, what the hell.

I have always liked the girls. Been married 3 times, enjoyed it. Now alone again as my wife died in 2008. Living with my daughter & son in law. At 85 don't think of marriage again. Enjoy my kids, grandkids & 3 greats. I stay busy doing not much. When I cleaned out the old house I couldn't believe the stuff Joan had. Most went to Good Will. My medicine cabinet is simple, not over flowing. Kitchen has a coffee pot & fry pan. Micro wave is used often. Hell, a donut & coffee makes a good breakfast. My S&W's are clean & so am I. Doc says I'm in damn good shape for the shape I'm in. Enough said.