Thursday I did about the dumbest thing I've ever done in almost 60 years on this earth. I was sitting in the car with the dog waiting for the wife to finish her dental appointment. I decided I would get in the back of my RAV4 and sit with him. It was windy and brisk so I wanted to close the door. By the time I got it closed I realized why it was so difficult. There is no door handle on the inside! I called my wife and left a voicemail telling her what I had done. The appointment hadn't started yet so she ran across the parking lot to save me. Of course she took a picture before she let me out. She ran back to the dentist. During the appointment they took her BP and it was a bit high. They said it might be because they had seen her running so she told them the whole story and they all had quite a laugh. The bad thing is that I have a dental appointment next Thursday!

Come on, fess up. What dumb things have you done?

Don't worry about it. If she took a picture, you are probably on your way to internet fame already. I've never made a mistake, thought I did once, but I was wrong.

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Just a shooter

Once while camping up in Maine, in the middle of a foggy night, I threw a roll of toilet paper at a cow moose that scared me as I was walking away from the outhouse. Fortunately, she just looked at me, then walked away into the fog. At least I didn't scream....

Larry

At least you weren't nekkid
Were you?

Oh wow where do I start. In another tread I mentioned snowballing a bull moose and putting a live rattlesnake in the fridge but this was the norm for our lives. Let me list a few off the top of my head.

Seeing how close you can stand next to 3 sticks of dynamite and shoot it with a high power rifle. I won that contest. At 20 yards it will blow your hat in the creek.

You want to see how mad your wife can get? When she is out of town, re-arrange her kitchen.

See how close you can get to two bull moose and see if you can get them to charge. At 15 yards, pawing the ground and grunting did nothing but get them to leave the country. You would think that at the age of 63 this silly notion would not even occur to a sane man. This was last elk season and a short video exits. When I approached I told my buddy to back me up if something went wrong. While pawing and snorting I looked back at me friend and he didn't even have his gun out. He had his phone out taking pictures. I suggest giving better instructions to your back up man should you try this.

Pick up a skunk by the tail to test the theory that he can not spray in such a position. I proved this a falsity and took classes at school outside the classroom with windows open.

Erasing the teachers grade book will get you 3 days vacation from school.

Fire extinguisher fights at school were fairly common.

Snowmobile off a cliff. When you come to you get to do a parts check to see if everything still works on your body.

Grind your thumbnail off in a bench grinder. That will make you cry down both legs.

The next experience should NOT be tried. One of us would straddle a large rock and face a buddy with a wrist rocket loaded with live 22 ammo. Buddy now shoots the rock between your legs and the round goes off. The winner of this not too bright game was the kid that flinched the least. Yea we did that more than once. This is proof the old saying is true, God watches over, drunks, fools and kids.

Have cheery bomb wars. This is a two person per team event. The shooter puts a cherry bomb into a wrist rocket and pulls it back. Member number 2 lights the cherry bomb. You then shoot them at your buddies who are doing the same thing to you.

Shoot arrows straight up into the sky and see how close they come to you when they come back to earth. For added thrills, try this at night.

I better stop their. Some other things are not very safe so shouldn't be mentioned.

OW I remember a few others.

When your dad brought a new pickup truck home and decides to take a nap is just an invitation for kids. We learned that is you start and shut off the truck real fast about 10 times it will blow the muffler off a truck with fewer that 100 miles on it.

When a wasps build a nest in your shed that houses your Tote Goat, quality television should come to the rescue. Having just watched natives in South America smoke bee out and take their honey, an idea and plan was formed. Taking an arrow and wrapping a rag around the point, a mixture of oil and gas was poured on the rag. Lighting the arrow and allowing it to burn awhile, the flames were extiquished and the rag was smoldering. The bow came out of the closet and the arrow shot and stuck in the wall below the wasps. The part I had not thought about was that the fast moving arrow generated wind which re-ignited the arrow. Now the wall of the shed that is attached to the garage which is attached to the house is starting to burn. Every attempt to pull the arrow out got me stung. After two failed attempts the arrow and wall was put out by a bucket of water. My dad always wondered how that wall got scorched.

I sold an 18 month old '67 Corvette Stingray with less than 10k miles for $4600 in Alaska. It obviously wasn't the family car to own in Alaska. But, I knew at the time I wasn't going to stay forever in Alaska. It was absolutely pristene. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. I should have stored it. It would be worth about $40 to $50k by this time. .........

I shook my wife awake at 2 a.m. once and said, "What are you doing here? My wife's coming home."

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Smith & Wesson beat four aces

Basic training.

The Army.

I was the biggest jokester and everyone knew to watch out for my next trick. I kept everyone in pushups. Heck, I figured we were gonna do them anyhow and why not give the DS a reason.

Here's one when I got mad at an Alfa Hotel that was kinda a bully. Dog was about the biggest guy in the company.

Well, One day he managed to get under my skin and by golly getting under skin, that was my job.

What to do?

Well the Army had all of these 5.56 bandoleers. When I first saw them I found out that they were great for holding my best cassette tapes. So I saved a few.

Anyhow there was a black safety pin on every one of the bandoleers and I started a stash for my Grandma to have as they were pretty heavy duty and she was into sewing.

I had a bunch saved up.

Back to our friend Dog,

Remembering he was an Alpha Hotel and being he was unliked by everyone I plotted my dirty deed.

It was so easy.

Dog always slept under the covers all the way over his head and snored like crazy.

If you've read this far,

I pinned that AH down to his rack.

Come roll call you can guess what happened.

The first person the drill looked at was me. No proof. No one woulda told on me even if they saw it.

But, Try as he might. He couldn't help but laugh.

At the end of basic the DS told that I was the craziest private he had ever met.

I was a squad leader and became one again as soon as I hit ATI. I think they were waiting for me there. Again tops in my class and the biggest prankster that they had seen.

I ran into guys that knew of my reputation many years later.

This is just a printable version of my antics.

Dang good times standing on the edge.

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Dum vivo cano

3-6-76 birth of first child. Wife wakes me up and says her water broke. Spent about 5 minutes checking house plumbing.

My dumbest deed involved a judge and me standing there and saying "I do."

In the older days some small PD's had all the patrol units keyed alike. When taking your mid-shift meal it only took one time before it was always parked within sight. The first time you would return, get in, turn the key and everything came to life. Good time radio was full blast, two way radio the same, siren screaming, light bar flashing, A/C or heater on high, etc. Statute of limitations may not have run on some of the other pranks.............LOL, hardcase60

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You want me to do what?

Hang gliding
No talent for it at all

Dang Dude, you must be a real hoot to be around!

Dumbest thing I'll admit to is I was using a cutting torch without gloves of course to cut some heavy chain. I cut the chain and as luck would have it, it fell exactly where I didn't want it to fall. Not thinking I reached down with my un-gloved hand and grabbed the link I had just burned off. It's kind of weird, I could feel my finger sizzling like bacon before I could feel it. Once reality caught up with my brain I dropped it but I had an amazingly large blister.

We had a big jokester in our office who loved to play tricks on everyone. I had to work on a Sat. and while in the office I decided to get back at him. On his desk he had a picture of him and his wife. I took and xeroxed the picture, making 30 or so copies. I cut out his face from the copies and with tape, I set off. On the stair landing on each floor of the building was a fire exit sign with a running stick figure and an arrow pointing towards the closest exit. I taped his face onto the running stick figure on every fire exit sign in the entire building. Come Monday morning, his face greeted everyone as they used the stairs. He never figured out who did it. It took him about a month to finally find all of the faces which had been taped up. The ones in the basement of the building took the longest to find.

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Bill

Many of my adventurers were not that fun afterwards. I know about your torch experience. I used torches multiple times a day. Heavy work we used gloves but like you, those quick cuts were gloveless. Once or twice year I would also grab the wrong end. The weird thing about grabbing a very hot item is, you cant turn loose of it right away. You just sit there and sizzle for awhile before you sent it into orbit.

It's been often said "If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be?"

Just yesterday, accidentally video conference in the nude.

Way back in the late 1950s, I was a lieutenant shooting on a pistol team at Ft Niagra, NY. You have to concentrate when you're shooting and some of it must have still been with me. I went to the mess hall for lunch, and poured a glass of water from a pitcher. I had poured quite a lot before I noticed the glass was upside down.