I browsed through some cookie recipes on the internet and came across a spice cookie recipe labeled as “healthy”. The ingredients all sounded good (whole wheat flour, oatmeal, ground flax seeds, mashed banana, molasses, spices) so they should all be good mixed together, one would think? I decided to try it. What could go wrong with a fat free low sugar cookie recipe?

When I took them out of the oven, the first thing that came to mind was that they looked like mini lumps of bear scat. After cooling and trying to bite into one (yes, I am a brave) the next thing that came to mind was the Rubber Biscuit song by the Blues Brothers. Not exactly a rubber biscuit, nor a ricochet biscuit, more like a these will “put a hole through the wall” biscuit.

Complete fail. Now, what to do with these? Give them to the neighbors’ kids to use in one of their street hockey games? Play a trick on John by dumping them on the lawn before he goes out there to mow it?

Anyone else have a recipe fail or kitchen disaster story?

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LOL.

I have some of those in my backyard.

Jennifer--Our Mountain Feist who delights in eating the most fragrant road kill he can find--before we can jerk his leash--and in Arkansas in the summer time, I doubt would eat those cookies. The only thing I have ever seen him spit out was fresh Matzah (unleavened flat bread) a neighbor gave him one time on a bet with me.

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Possum—The other white meat!

My dog makes those all the time.

Maybe you overcooked them?
Sounds like they have tasty ingredients.

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NRA LIFE MEMBER

Cookies are cookies. Add butter. Add sugar. Enjoy in moderation. Go for a walk.

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Some collect art; I shoot it!

Tried to make amaretti fruita cookies last week.Googled up a recipe and,once again,forgot this place is high altitude.Figured on using marmalade on the centers.They all melted together and the marmalade burned through the bottom lol.They were still tasty after prying them loose with a putty knife

I don't have an "A" as in one kitchen disaster story. I've got a slug of them.

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Always Stay Strong!

Can't make a good cookie without at lease a bit of animal fat

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NRA Benefactor

if i crave a tasty cookie....i go to the local bakery.....

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There's nowt so queer as folk

Somewhere I used to have a picture of a freezer pizza that I overcooked "a little". My favorite humbling cooking experience was when I made stew one time and wanted to thicken the broth a bit. A massive brain fart caused me to add baking soda instead of baking powder. One ruined batch of stew.

I found the key to making "unhealthy" cookies less harmful was to eat lots of them all the time and build up a tolerance

When the kids were small Ruthie decided to experiment with a recipe she found. "Impossible salmon pie".

"It'll be great" she says.

"It'll be healthy" she says.

Red flags go up.

It was a fishy, veggie, quichie concoction.

As we sat facing one another Ruthie says "dig in".

It was like a Fellini movie: close ups of darting eyes. Lips being bitten. Ears perked hoping for the door bell and phone to ring.

Dramatic silence followed by the bite.

Shrill violins shatter the silence. Close ups of darting eyes begging ; "please don't let me be the only one".

"Well?" Answered by a trio of "it's ok". Which being interpreted by Ruthie as "we wish to disown you".

It is now a standing joke and the standard by which all kitchen disasters are measured.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

Hey you could sell those things to a scat ID/outdoor tracking class. Cut into different shapes, use then eat. Wow..how enviro friendly is that?

We had a very similar situation one time. Barb made a ham-n-cheese-n-cauliflower casserole. It was not well received and it has become the standing joke for cooking disasters in our house....

use 'em for target practice

THERE you go - get rid of them Rooster Cogburn style!

When my brother and I were in our teens we lived across the street from an elderly Russian Jewish couple. Mrs. K. was the only Jewish mother in history whose chicken soup utterly sucked--terrible stuff, like dishwater with a few lumps.

But she made a sublime fruit-and-nut strudel. The best I ever tasted.

My mother asked her for the recipe, and set out to make it. Hers was huge., the size of a fire log. It just kept rising and rising, and Mom's baffled frustration wasn't helped a bit by the fact that Gerry and I would walk into the kitchen, look at the growing monster, and laugh. She finally threw us out.

The finished product, which could have been christened by having a bottle of champagne smashed on the bow, tasted fine; but it emphatically was not a conventional strudel.

When Mom calmed down from all the laughter (Dad joined in), she asked Mrs. K. what she had done wrong.

"Oy," Mrs. K. answered, "didn't I tell you? That was the recipe for five of those things!"

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Oh well, what the hell.

Waffles and pancakes would not be too bad for us if we could swallow them without margarine and syrup. I discovered a way that can be done. Cover them with thin sliced bananas then spread strawberry yogurt on top. I find my solution better tasting than butter and syrup. The only problem is that so far all other humans who have seen my concoction have been revolted by it. Does that count?

Sounds ok to me. Invite me to breakfast anytime.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

I'm glad that I reload my ammo better than I cook, or I'd have blown myself up years ago.

One day I was wokring at the shop with John and made the worst coffee ever. It was reminiscent of Violet (from the movie “9 to 5”) and I put salt in my coffee instead of sugar. Thank goodness it wasn’t rat poison! The containers looked so similar.

Attached Images

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Kinda like Vaseline and VapoRub?

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

You guys have a way with words. I'm sitting in the Dr. office with tears in my eyes from laughing.

It should be a capital crime to use the words "healthy" and "cookie" in the same sentence, since it's a scientific impossibility. Even the implication that a cookie is healthy is an assault upon the very word "cookie". Cookies were never meant to be, nor should they ever try to be healthy. It would be an abomination and a crime against nature.

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So many S&W's, so few funds!!

Cookies are like Doughnuts---There are no bad ones !

P.S. Stay out of the kitchen or I will tell your Mother !

....or Preparation H....

They may be salvagable yet...wrap 'em in bacon, slather some beer batter on and toss in a deep frier unt golden brown. ��

Growing up my daughter made baking powder biscuits without the baking powder [substituted baking soda] and followed it up with using Tablespoons instead of teaspoons in the directions.
Eventually she got better.

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Front sight and squeeze

I would share a few stories, but suffice it to say that my best recipes start and end with takeout.

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50 Years of DSOTM

My wife had all of these fancy spice bottles full of things she brought back from Germany. Man, She knew how to cook and never measured anything.

Well, After she passed I decided I should eat better and start cooking again. One of the things I cook is a pretty good chili. So I decided that's what I'll have. Fun to cook and good to eat plus I wanted to give my neighbor some.

I go to the spices in the fancy bottles knowing they all have their own letter of the alphabet on them but she's got this little code book in the pantry beside them.

I go down my mental check list of things I'll be needing and I check those spices and see only too that were yellowish. This should be easy. I need some Cumin.

Yep. Here it is. Bottle number C. Says it right here in this book.

After a couple of stops to get my meat at one store and peppers, onions, garlic and such at another, plus some nice beer then I head on home thinking this is gonna be a nice day. The weather's nice and the dogs will like to be out in the yard.

It going well and there's some westerns on the tube. The stars are aligned, I'm in my element. Chopping and putting it together. It's the one thing that I make everyone always likes and ask when am I gonna make more.

What could go wrong?

"Dog gone this batch just ain't right." I says to my self in more colorful language than allowed in pleasant company.

I tried and tried adjusting it and it only got worse.

It took me some time to figure out what happened.

It seems as my German wife got Curcuma mixed up with
Cumin. I kept adding Curcuma. AKA Turmeric.

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Dum vivo cano

Just because it is healthy does not make it edible. You may need to call the hazmat team.

I'd suggest two things:

1. There is no such thing as a "healthy cookie".
2. Your oven needs calibrating.

....that 'the most wonderful ____ to die for' recipes on the internet TASTE like bear scat. I got a bunch of them off the internet to give us more variety and I think the only one that wasn't a total fail was the Bourbon Chicken.

I inherited my Mom's 1950s cookbook a while back. No more internet recipes for me. I can't remember which one, but it's a big one.


Oh, here's my list of 'Health Cookies':

Pecan Sandies

Lemon Oreos

Chips Ahoy

Are Fig Newtons 'Cookies'?

Vienna Fingers

Lorna Doons (Shortbread)

I'm not attempting to make a complete list of 'healthy cookies', just giving my idea of what's out there.

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

This thread is funny. :-)

The best healthy cookie in the whole wide world is my wife's homemade "Tea Cakes." I know they are healthy because the more you eat the better you feel.

My Mother and Grandmother both used the same recipe.

Have a blessed day,

Leon

I like cookies.
Cookies make me smile.
Smiling is healthy for you.
So cookies are healthy!

Not to derail this delicious topic but, Keebler sells an "all natural simple" cookie--chocolate chip cookies. Ive had a few packs already (tan package) I cant stand the ones in the blue package. Spoiled am I?

Molasses will make them look burnt even though they probably areent--so does butter-sugar etc. Honey can do the same thing-and I cooked with it often and learned.

I had a roommate in college who was trying to make cool-aid. You guessed it-he used salt instead of sugar. I saw him make it--wondering why he was using salt--and watched. I told him that he was using salt--but he said he wasn't. (Well, I TOLD him so) He stirred in loads of salt into grape coolaid--got a glass-ice-and poured. I shook my head-and he angrily said I was mocking him-so no coolaid for me. I said I never wanted any to begin with-probably had a Big Red instead.

I watched him drink some sputtering and spitting coughing badly. I was laughing so hard my eyes drenched my cheeks--especially after he sputtered: "THAT WAS SALT!!." To this day, I still laugh about Roy not listening to me.

What does Roy have to say about it since he proved your point for you???

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"He was kinda funny lookin'"

I don't know but, Roy wasnt the thinking type--which is why he lasted only one semeter in college.

I don't know but, Roy wasnt the thinking type--which is why he lasted only one semeter in college.