Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Two hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work,
but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.


And, my very favorite...

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

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CSM, U S Army(Ret) 1963-1990

Thanks for that. I think the next to last one may be my favorite.

I retired last December and all of that is true. People where I used to work still call with problems. Sometimes I'll give advice but when I hang up I relish the fact that it's their worry, not mine.

I do miss the nice paychecks though but I'll manage somehow.

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LIVE FROM THE DAWGHOUSE

Retired 3 years...The cliche's really don't apply.....I hunt/shoot/fish/farm/travel etc....life is good..........

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S&W Accumulator

"Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work,
but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth".





While I did work with some Richard Craniums, most were good people. As I worked for a 700+ member hiring hall union (pipe fitters) I got to meet and work with hundred of different people. Some I worked with on multiple jobs for long periods of time, some jobs were only a few men for a couple week. Some people in the union I never worked with at all. The good ones I miss the others not a bit.

I most definitely do not miss working outside in northern NY nasty weather. It can get real warm up here in the summer but worse it can get real cold in the winter. (I have worked outside at -30) Throw in lots of snow and nasty winds to work around and its even more fun. Double that if your working at heights!

Working on a very tall column out of a Bosun chair or hanging outside a crane in a work basket doing hi work gets your attention. Working with all sorts of nasty chemicals or working near the roof in a boiler room with high temperatures and no wind flow is also not fun.

Many other things to say but at least the pay was very good which allowed me to early retire at 55 instead of 62. Get a good pension and as of now very good health insurance.

You got to take the good with the bad. With that said I tend to enjoy retirement up here on the lake.

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14 S&W Revs none with locks!

I'll give my answer after I take my morning and afternoon nap

Sent from my LG-K371 using Tapatalk

While they are all true, this one seems most true to me:

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Who has the time, to set at a computer for an hour, reading on a gun forum, at 1130 in the morning, on a Tuesday? A retired person, and the good part is, I have no intention on moving for another hour! ! !
jcelect

I sometimes wonder what day of the week it is, then laugh hysterically because it doesn't matter. Holidays are easy to discern... there's all that heavy traffic on the roads that I don't have to fight.

I don't have to go to work through "Hell or High Water." I especially don't miss driving through the same snowstorm twice a day.

I'm saving money on fuel, tires, car maintenance, insurance and lunch. The cash saved is used for more important things, like guns and ammo.

I have the time for projects that had been pushed off for too long.

I'm ALWAYS on vacation.

After I'd been retired for about a year, my department chair at the university called and asked if I would do a "guest lecture" in one of the classes I used to teach.

I went to the class, delivered the lecture, and received a rousing ovation from the students. I was flattered.

Then I went home and wrote the following in my journal: "I don't miss it one bit." Don't get me wrong. I loved my job, but I don't miss it. I have too many other interesting things with which I'm involved to ever miss my old job.

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Pack light and cinch tight.

There is huge number of people on this forum that are retired or don't work and about once a month there is a thread about how much they like it. I wonder if there is anyone out there besides me, that likes to work? We have taken a lot of vacations the last few years but after 5 or 6 days I'm bored and ready to get home and go back to work.

I worked from age 15 to 59 1/2......If God lets me I plan to PLAY the rest of my life.......SO MANY good things to get into!.......Boredom is not in my vocabulary...........

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S&W Accumulator

I love being retired, and yes I really do get bored occasionally.

Then I recall my couple of stints in retail, working p/t in different LGS's as a 'retirement job'.
Fun for awhile, but between the insane chaos of working through 2 or 3 of the panic-buying episodes and dealing with the owner's also-employed-there family, I finally had enough of that retail fun.

That little bit of occasional boredom is simply the price of the huge amount of freedom that has been bestowed.

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Ret'd LEO
SWCA #2275

The basement comment is my favorite. I already have a bunch and a half of their "stuff". I retired 6 years ago at 66. Wish I could have done it 20 years sooner. I fish, shoot, travel, kayak, boat, reload, collect guns and fishing gear, take the Wife out, fix toys, and most importantly- BABYSIT. No time for anything else.

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Foster Positivity.

I didn't retire till after my 71th birthday.
All that money from SS, Navy and other retirement I had made it so lots of guns were obtained.
Now with a disabled wife, we don't go out much but she is on HSN or some other ones on TV buying things all the time.
Miss work, well there seems to be things around the house to do all the time.

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Only difference Fool/Mule-ears

I say I'm semi-retired, go into work most afternoons but take time off whenever I want to.

What I like best is I can stay in my jammies all day, especially the warm fuzzy ones in the winter. (No, I don't wear them to Walmart!)

If you are doing what you want that's all that matters.

I retired from my regular job on December 31, 2015 at 3:30 PM (but who's counting). I am Secretary for the Planning Commission of our town. I take down and publish the minutes of the monthly meetings. That might seem like work, but I look at it as giving something back to the town where I have chosen to reside. My cardiologist sees it as a way to keep my mind active. But the big thing is that according to some medical opinions I have received retirement has saved my life. I had medical issues develop that now I can take care of.

These are hysterical.

But the crazy thing is so many retired people I know say they are busier after they retire than they were when they were working.

Retired in 1981.

I have nothing to do
And all day to do it


Sent from my SM-T813 using Tapatalk

What I like darn near best about retirement is even though I don't work anymore, people send me money on a regular basis anyway! I mean, how great is that?!

Every once in a while I go to the range and wonder why it's so crowded, then I remember, it's saturday. I try to only go on weekdays, but sometimes (often ?) I lose track.

Wifey and I have been retired for 5 years. When asked what we like most we answer " not knowing or caring what day it is ". My favorite on the OP's post is second from last re; missing the people at work.

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John

Being I was forced into an early retirement at mid 50's ( health wise) It hasent been easy I worked an average of 67 to 100 hours a week for 35 years hours a week . So it has been an adjustment the last six years. I do miss some I worked with. But I don't miss some along with employers. There is a huge long list of really bad employers in this state up to an including criminals.But that is on bolth sides too. I do have some fond memories of co workers that we keep in touch with. Weird part about that some of them more than one where forced into early retirement too. Those 100 weeks take a very heavy toll.

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Spin The Wheel

Wife : What did you do today ?
Me : Nothing .
Wife : That's what you did yesterday .
Me : I wasn't finished .

I have 34 months to go...Not that I am counting...Looking forward to retiring.

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M&P 22,22c,9c,45c
Shield 9

What day is it? Hard to tell cause I'm not waiting for TGIF.

Every day is a thank God day in my book.

After I quit work a guy I just met asked me what I did for a living. I told him I cash checks.
He wanted to know how it worked. Did I charge a set amount for each check or a per cent of the amount.
I told him I keep it all. The checks I cash are pension, ss and dividend checks. So far I am making a living from it.
Retirement is great. Larry

I hate sleeping through My nap.

Retired from LE in July 2006, went back to work in private security in Sept. '06 and retired again in 2015. The last 2 years have been great but I do try and keep busy, fishing, shooting, coffee with buddies, Kiwanis and just putzing around the house. Can't stand to just sit in front of the TV for more the a couple hours a day.

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Support your Police, & NRA

I'd get a lot more done around the house if Al Gore hadn't invented the Internet. Amazing how much time gets occupied so you can't get to the lawn mowing, honey-dos, etc.......

Hey Farmer, that would be me. I have retired three times now. I have been done filling in as a Director (they wanted me to stay, not my thing) at a non-profit last March. Wife and I thought we would travel all June and July. Had June booked, came home at the end of the month so stinking tired, we stayed home in July. I put in my application to sub teach at local high schools and they offered me a para job which I turned down for $10.50/hr (I have a master's degree plus and they said I would be bored sitting in class all day) and they said good, because we really wanted to offer you another job. So I said I would look at it. Now I go around to 12 different school districts and help the special needs kids with assistive technology. I am my own boss, manage no one, report to no one, set my own schedule, can't work more than 37.5 hours a week, have to take 30 minutes for lunch and I work a little over 180 days, same schedule as my wife who works at a school. I am 63 1/2 and already have my school retirement that we can live on.

Last February we took 9 days, 4 for travel, 5 for being there and went down to south Texas with some friends who winter down there. It was nice and all, enjoyed our time together and the sites but I was ready to get back home and back to work. It was only the second time in 30 years we have taken 5 consecutive days off.

My wife wants to work 2-3 more years, she loves what she does for kids. I would get bored not working and not helping kids. This is very low key, a little stressful learning all the new technology and there is a ton of it every day but I love it. I can see me ready to hang up the cleats though in another year and a half.

When I see the face of a kid light up who can hardly see and I show him a way he can type by talking or one who aims his iPad at a paper and it reads the text to him, that is special, or a kid who is confined to a wheel chair and communicates by moving their eyes on a screen and it talks for them. How do you beat that?

All that said, next year will DEFINITELY be my last, no kidding, no matter what, for sure, without a doubt, no changing my mind, uh huh for sure. That will be retirement # 4 and the last???

I have to add this part. I have been a teacher and administrator for 32 years. I gained a good reputation as an administrator who can take on the dirty jobs and get things turned around. My wife said "don't look for a job, they always call you, God will direct you to the right one, they will call." Well, this one called and a college east of here called as well. I turned the college down, that was HUGE for me, that is my love, or was.

I retired four years ago due to health. I do miss my customers, teaching, playing and the repair work but, having said that , if I had known how much fun and fulfilling raising three grandkids would be, I would have pulled the plug sooner.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

I don't do anything and I don't start that till noon.

Retired since '04. The only thing I miss about work is the money.

I retired a little over 3 years ago at 62. My wife is still working for about a year & a half till she can get medicare. It sometimes gets a little boring cause she is gone all day but I can live with it. She gets quite a bit of vacation so we go camping for 4 or 5 weeks a year.
I still get up at 5-5:30 every morning. Most mornings I either go fishing or take the dog for a walk. I have a 6 month lab that needs a lot of exercise to quiet the crazy a little. I have about a 4 mile loop that we walk through the woods, no leash required.
After lunch I usually take a little nap then putter until it's time to start dinner. I've turned into a pretty good cook.

I must have done it wrong because my schedule is still full, only the tasks have changed.

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Certified Curmudgeon

I'm going to find fault with the first one. The idea there are 6 Saturdays and Sunday. I hate Saturdays. All the fools who are still working clog up the hardware stores and gun shops. They want to squeeze a full weeks fun into one day. I've concluded the best thing to do on Saturday is to sleep in or go to a gun show. Monday through Friday are good days to do what workers can't. Most retiree's I know wish weekends would just go away, or the working class would work those days, too.

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Dick Burg

I turn 55 and will be eligible to retire in November, but probably won't be able to afford it for a few more years.
BUT, I'm starting to think about taking my pension and working at something I enjoy instead of continuing with my current career. Or maybe not.
Just being at a point where I have that option may make it easier to stick with it a few more years.

I retired about 8 months ago. My wife....12 months ago.

I don't like to pull out the "I've never been busier." line, and I don't. But I am amazed at how all-of-a-sudden it's dinner time. Not that I'm go-go-go all the time. It's just that there are things to do and then the day is over. There are things to do around the house. They can be pursued leisurely and not in a panic. I recently acquired bunch of range brass (much much more than I usually get) as a result of visiting a friend's range. Now I have the time to process, clean and load it.

A relative asked me a few months ago how I tell the difference between the weekdays and the weekends. I said "Based on the number of people in the grocery store."

It is funny: We now see holidays as a day to STAY HOME. The roads and stores are too crowded.

I like the idea that I can eat ice cream at 9am if I want to and have a stiff drink at 2pm if the urge hits. Or go to the gun range on Tuesday, fish Wednesday, Thursday is treatment day then Friday to the beach for brunch. Never knew life could be so hectic lol. Do miss the paychecks though, someone seems to have reduced my pay considerably.