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Old 09-19-2017, 09:42 PM
Bro. Dave Bro. Dave is offline
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Default Auction descriptions = creative writing

My other vocation (being a pastor, if you aren't a prosperity pimp preacher, won't typically make you rich) was education.

Having seen all manner of "creative" writing I'm sometimes distracted by the amazing prose of gun auction descriptions. My current favorite is:

"With the exception of a little bit of rust on the right side of the upper receiver the item is mint."

I'm still chuckling over this semantic abomination.

Have you a favorite example?
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Old 09-19-2017, 10:07 PM
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The one that you quoted and every variation of it leaves me shaking my head.
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Old 09-20-2017, 03:11 AM
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Pap was a trader and I guess I've heard them all.
Trading dogs because he is a little too fast or too slow for my pack. He's really not good at anything.
Trading horses because he has a little buck on a cold morning. You find out anything below 80 deg. is a cold morning and a little buck means to take a deep seat because you are about to go for a ride.
Many times when you get something home you really find out why the person wanted to sell. Larry
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Old 09-20-2017, 03:55 AM
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When reading any sort of ad for a used product one must sort of read between the lines. It is quite interesting on some of the phrases Sellers come up with........
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Old 09-20-2017, 05:13 AM
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In the latest, "As seen on TV" ads;

"Get a second one free, for an additional charge!"

I am still trying to figure out just how much of a charge is Free (freight is separate, so that isn't it!).

Ivan
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Old 09-20-2017, 08:49 AM
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"All numbers matching with the exception of the bolt, stock, trigger guard and barrel bands"...
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Old 09-20-2017, 08:52 AM
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Rare, or collectible. In a few cases maybe so, however...
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Old 09-20-2017, 10:42 AM
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"would refinish to MINT!"
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Old 09-20-2017, 10:49 AM
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Good for it's age ,covers a lot
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Old 09-20-2017, 10:54 AM
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"Custom" usually means Bubba hacked off the barrel and super-glued on a new front site.

"It was round butted" really means we held it to the bench grinder to make $3.00 plastic gun show grips fit it.
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Old 09-20-2017, 11:00 AM
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I can't document it so don't ask () but I once read an ad offering for sale an ordinary Remington 20 gauge autoloading shotgun that had a fixed-choke, plain, field barrel. I can't recall the model... maybe an 11-58? In any case, the seller proudly announced it would "hit a quarter at fifty yards with deer slugs". He did not say a quarter of what!
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Old 09-20-2017, 11:04 AM
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I think "prosperity pimp preacher" was very creative! Made me laugh and they're out there.
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Old 09-20-2017, 11:08 AM
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"Rare" does it for me. Generally skip items with this word in the description as it is so frequently means "I've over-priced this item because I don't really want to sell it but can nonetheless prove to my wife I'm trying to liquidate some inventory." Been reading books-worth of great info on this site for years and decided to join the fun. First post!
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Old 09-20-2017, 12:27 PM
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I never knew "rare" was a synonym for "expensive" until I began looking at gun auction sites.
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Old 09-20-2017, 01:45 PM
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One of my favorites is "Like New". No, new revolvers don't have turn rings and carbon rings on all the cylinder holes. Same thing for "New, Old Stock", found commonly on GB.
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Old 09-20-2017, 03:03 PM
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"No upgrades."

Is this singular revolver, along with its goodies, the best example of its model in the world? Maybe, but probably not.

I put great stock in a thorough two-line description that leaves out the hyperbole. Great photos sell the gun; the salesman doesn't need to. Two clichés come to mind:

"A picture's worth a thousand words."

"Just the facts, ma'am [sir]. Nothing but the facts."
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Old 09-20-2017, 03:11 PM
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How about pictures that are too dark to see things like bluing wear, scratches or in one case I saw, whether or not the gun had an internal lock?



(Big Note Here: Please do not spin off into an anti gun lock thread!!!!)
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Old 09-20-2017, 04:30 PM
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I used to do an exercise with students that involved writing a classified ad for a car.
I encouraged them to figure out how to describe the car in glowing terms without actually
outright lying. Some of them were pretty creative.
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Old 09-20-2017, 04:51 PM
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Excellent with some small handling marks.
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Old 09-20-2017, 04:57 PM
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"French WWII Fusil rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
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Old 09-20-2017, 05:29 PM
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NIB. No paperwork. No tools.

I love that one.
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Old 09-20-2017, 10:03 PM
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How about Viet Nam bring back,No capture papers.
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Old 09-20-2017, 10:28 PM
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I saw one about bullet molds today. "I lapped these out and they are out of round. Other than that as new in box".
Kind of like a brand new car just of the lot with a blown engine.
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Old 09-20-2017, 10:41 PM
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Wow, take a look at this.
New Old Stock, but the box not so new and label is gone.
Everything that has been mentioned in the previous posts is just not necessary because the sellers that take the excellent, and many pictures know in the long run that is what is going to sell the item or at least it does for me. Some of the sellers remind me of carnival workers, hawking their wares.
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Old 09-21-2017, 02:28 PM
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As New In Box, except ...
No box
Honest wear to finish
Has been shot a lot
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Old 09-21-2017, 02:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TXBryan View Post
"Rare" does it for me. Generally skip items with this word in the description as it is so frequently means "I've over-priced this item because I don't really want to sell it but can nonetheless prove to my wife I'm trying to liquidate some inventory." Been reading books-worth of great info on this site for years and decided to join the fun. First post!
To me "rare" means the opposite. It me I have this old thing and watching antiques roadshow I learned that anything old is "rare" and thus valuable!

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk
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Old 09-21-2017, 05:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redlevel View Post
I used to do an exercise with students that involved writing a classified ad for a car.
I encouraged them to figure out how to describe the car in glowing terms without actually
outright lying. Some of them were pretty creative.
Never pay for gas again.

Gun sellers have NOTHING on realtors IMHO. Historic = decrepit. Water view = leaky basement. Just needs your touch = needs paint on all walls, new floors and new ceilings, oh and the seller took all the light fixtures.
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Old 09-21-2017, 05:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arik View Post
To me "rare" means the opposite. It me I have this old thing and watching antiques roadshow I learned that anything old is "rare" and thus valuable!

Sent from my XT1650 using Tapatalk
Isn't just so easy to appraise things and make people just oh so happy with that valuble whatever they found in the attic. Noticed they never ever ever buy anything however.
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Old 09-21-2017, 06:04 PM
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No questions asked. Guaranteed full refund minus shipping and handling fees. Refunds are applied to in store credit only.
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Old 09-21-2017, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tops View Post
Pap was a trader and I guess I've heard them all.
Trading dogs because he is a little too fast or too slow for my pack. He's really not good at anything.
Trading horses because he has a little buck on a cold morning. You find out anything below 80 deg. is a cold morning and a little buck means to take a deep seat because you are about to go for a ride.
Many times when you get something home you really find out why the person wanted to sell. Larry
In years past I kept a stable full of horses. It was a great (but expensive) pastime, I guess kinda like collecting nice old S&W's.
Bottom line with the horses - I went through a lot of them, as they all have vices. You just have to find the horse whose vices you can live with. That one is a keeper, despite the fact that someone else may not agree. Again, another parallel to collecting nice old S&W's. The best part about S&W's is that they do not need to be fed and watered twice a day......
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Old 09-21-2017, 06:38 PM
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Somehow the above brings to mind this flyer tacked on a utility pole:

LOST: Hunting dog.
3 legs. Tail broken.
Blind in one eye.
Left ear missing.
recently neutered.
Answers to the
name LUCKY!
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