The wife and I are on vacation and traveling in our motorhome. Getting late so we stop at a nearby Cracker Barrel for dinner and grab a hotel room next door.
After driving the MH for the day it’s always nice to catch a hotel room with a nice hot shower and a great bed. Get to our destination the next day.
Well anyway I’m standing outside the MH while the wife is booking the hotel. I had just done my walk around of the coach to check everything. We’re parked in back of the Cracker Barrel which is well lit, plenty of other cars around with people passing and the local hotels nearby.
I am standing there waiting for the wife when this black gentleman walks over, appeared to me that he had just left the restaurant and was headed to one of the cars parked nearby. He was neatly dressed, clean in appearance, did not smell of liquor and talked straight, no slurring or stuttering.
Starts a conversation on how nice the motorhome looked and ask about age and so forth. Says I have it parked at a good spot and no one will mess with it, I agreed. Cracker Barrel employees will keep an eye on you if you are parked on their lot over night.
Unexpectedly this gentleman goes off with telling me now that he’s a recovered alcoholic and hasn’t had a drink in 16 years. Now he tells me he is now homeless since the people he has been living with has now started drinking again and he had to leave the home so now he’s homeless and hasn’t had a meal in two days?
Could I spare him a couple bucks to get something to eat?
So now the wife comes out and we’re ready to go in and eat so on the side I explain to her what’s happening and we gave the guy 10 bucks to eat with, figured he could get something decent in Cracker Barrel but he didn’t go in there sort of just disappeared.
So I did a good deed, never give money out to people like this but he sounded sincere and god blessed me as a good Christian.
But the bottom line was I got caught with my guard down?

His story could have been true. The money got rid of him. OR, you were very lucky.

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Just a shooter

It's good to read that your well enough to be a road warrior, after the medical issues you've dealt with lately. Have a great vacation and don't forget that we like to see pictures.

He 'sized' you up very quickly and got what he wanted. His story might have been true but I doubt it. He could have been a 'point man' for something bigger. He saw you, your MH, and knew exactly what was available for the taking and fortunately nothing more came of it.
Just wondering why you have a MH and were staying in a hotel? Reason is the MH gives you the freedom to stop where and when you want without having to deal with hotels.
You mention 'it got late' so you stopped at a nearby Cracker Barrel. Well lots of cars and will lit does not ensure security. Location and environment are bigger factors.
When traveling it is a good idea to always plan to get to your destination early while it is still light. Staying away from urban areas, especially after dark (and with a MH) is always a good idea - considering what you have to lose.
Why not find nice RV parks out of the way with a better environment than a Cracker Barrel when it is late?
OH and FWIW I work in the RV industry for a large dealer and have a good understanding if the RVing lifestyle.

Seems to me no harm in just considering that it was what it appeared to be on the surface. It may well have been. If it was not, not a big deal. Hey, it’s only ten bucks.

I think you did a good deed.

Well the movement by him reaching into his pocket for the money could have been the signal to others - or a time for the panhandler to strike when the OP had his hands occupied.
I live in Central Oregon where panhandlers are on nearly every corner and sidestreet and whenever I get approached by them they get a VERY cold, harsh and short response from me. These people are hardly needy and are often dressed very well. They are nothing but either very shrewd operators or tweekers so far gone they (with any luck) will be dead soon. These beggars have gotten very good at pulling at the 'heartstrings' of unwary people and make incredible amounts of money. While my company (and most others in the area) operate shorthanded (and have for several years) these freeloaders operate with impunity and prey on the weak who will open their pockets to them.

You'll never know for sure, but what matters is you tried to do the right thing.

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Or something like that . . .

"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

You did as your heart led you. You're a good man.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

Having been a Baptist pastor for a little over 45 years I have had many requests for benevolence and not a few straight up pan-handlers. As a general rule, I never give anyone cash.

If they claim to be hungry, we offer to buy them food or a meal. If they are traveling, we offer to buy some gas. If they need a place to stay we provide a motel room, etc.

But one does not always have the luxury of the time investment that response requires.

Some individuals have mastered the art of hitting folks up just as they come out of a food place, feeling well fed and satisfied, and pitching a story of being hungry. That little guilt trip strategy is pretty powerful.

If not close to my church field, I have sometimes replied to such requests that I am a preacher, but my church is not close. I will be happy to call a police officer, since they know the neighborhood, and inquire as to where the closest Baptist Church is located and see to it they get some help. I have never had anyone take me up on that offer, but I stand ready to follow through if one ever does.

A a principle, I rather sometimes help the undeserving than allow genuine need go unmet.

I would never dare to second guess your decision and believe you did as were led to do at the moment.

This, sometimes all that matters is knowing you did something to help out another person. I try to help others when i can and only hope if i were ever in true need of some help that someone would be there for me in some way.

Well we’ve learned that most Interstate RV parks are not as easy on or off the Interstate as they say and most times can’t accommodate my motorhome. I do prefer driving later into the evening hours.
Since I will not spend a night at a Rest Area, Truck stop or Wally World parking lot. These places are just too plain noisy and unsafe places at night. We will spend a night on a CB parking lot in pinch but have taken a liking to overnight hotel stops. Like I said originally, you get a good night sleep a good hot shower and a free complimentary breakfast in the morning. No noise from some idling truck or loud talking people slamming their car doors.
Right now as I type this, in bed in my motorhome I can hear the soothing sounds of the ocean! oh and my snoring wife! We are at our destination!

I guess when I say about leaving my guard down I just presumed this guy was just another restaurant customer. I was aware of my surroundings and as to what was where. I just assumed something that was not.

Two most famous scams are for food or gas. If you offer to buy them either one, they will suddenly disappear, as it's the money they're really after. Used to see it in Detroit a lot.

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So many S&W's, so few funds!!

I try to keep a $10 gift card to Whataburger in my wallet. I've given them out to various people I've come in contact with that were in need of a meal.

I never give cash outright.

We never know the persons true intent, all we can do is what we feel to be right in that moment. Enjoy your trip, we spent a few days relaxing in the sand by the water in North Carolina last month, I would love to be back there right now.

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Forged From Freedom

Probably most requests for $$ are fake but I would say there has to be a genuine request out there once in a while. The bottom line is you called it the way you saw and did what you thought was right at the time. That's all anyone can do. He either had a good meal or a few drinks - either way you are not to be judged as no one else was there

A better way would have been to tell him to come in restaurant and ORDER a meal and then you pay for it there instead of giving him the $...you would have quickly found out if he was telling you the truth...if he disappeared after you gave him the $, he probably headed to the nearest bar...

More likely the nearest liquor store. Bars are expensive.

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So many S&W's, so few funds!!

Be wary of strangers "talking you up". My Dad and I had a similar situation while driving to Alaska. A guy came up and said he was selling his tool box, trying to get money to get back to Washington. My dad gave him some money. The tools did not cost nearly what my dad gave for them.

I guess I'm kinda selfish. I give to others because it makes me feel good. I don't agonize over whether the person might purchase food or crack with the couple bucks I toss to their way. I simply thank God for sparing me their suffering.

My sister and daughter were driving and a fireman was standing there with a rubber boot and she always gives firemen money on their charity drive so she stopped to give him some cash. She lowered the window and thought he looked pretty rough to be a fireman, and went to drop a five dollar bill in his boot and he suddenly reached in the car to grab the other cash out of purse! She twisted in the seat and hit the gas pedal and got away but she is very small and 67 years old so it could have turned out very bad.

Well when you see the SAME people on t he SAME corners for years I think their true intent speaks for itself. While 'Help Wanted' signs on businesses are up so long they are falling to shreds these people are standing with the same signs that say 'Homeless veteran needs help'

Your story reminded me of an incident back about 12 or 13 years ago down south while I was still employed and on a mission for my employer. I had stopped for fuel at one of those "fuel & booze" type road stops and a man approached me with the same "just making friendly conversation" deal which lasted about 3 or 4 minutes before he launched into his needy story and asked for money. But even before his own needy story had really gotten going, I launched into my own true needy story, pretty much out-needy'ing him by at least double if not triple.

Well, he was genuinely shocked. By the time we were all done a few minutes later, he was offering me money. True story.

I refused, of course. I never accept charity.

A beggar with money to spare? Must pay better than we expected.

Well, you don't say where this happened, but I heard almost that exact same story a week or so ago as I was pumping gas, except the guy hadn't had a drink in ten years. He, too, was now homeless and hadn't eaten in two days and could I help him out?

I reckon you're a better Christian than I am, and it isn't for me to say whether or not you got caught with your guard down. But then again, I'd seen my guy three days earlier coming out of the 7-11 with what was either a big bottle of wine or a big bottle of beer in a paper bag, headed for a wooded area at the I-85 and I-77 interchange.

I think it's fair to say he was a "pro" at that. He just didn't realize that he was dealing with a bigger, better "pro" at that neediness routine than he was.

I just tell them to hit the road. I had this happen once before with My best friend.A so called homeless person put the bite on my friend and when He pulled out his wallet the guy saw he had money and after he gave it to him we saw the guy pointing us out to some other rather rough looking people.
Luckily we were were we needed to be so nothing happened but it could have been bad.

FWIW...... I carry all my $1 and $5s in a money clip...... left hand front pocket...... 3913/6906 behind the right hip.

A few years back I got gas at a station just off I-65. A young man came came up to me with a gas can asking for gas money as he was stranded. I told him no way.

A few days later, maybe ten miles away I was in the parking lot at my local grocery store. The same guy approached me with his gas can! I told him to take a hike. When I got home I called the store and told the manager what was going on in his parking lot. He thanked me and said it would be dealt with immediately.

A while back, I was headed into a Walgreens and a young woman with a baby on her hip was asking for money to buy food. When I came out of the store, I handed her a bag with milk, eggs and bread. She cussed at me and threw the bag into the garbage can next to her.

Now, the answer is always a loud "NO."

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Smith & Wesson beat four aces

He went straight to the nearest liquor store or drug dealer. Give to legitimate vetted charities. Giving to people on the street perpetuates that individuals problem and encourages them to harass and scam other nice well-meaning people.

New LOW in cash request.

Yesterday I heard the LOWEST cash request ever for me.

A decently dressed lady asked for THIRTY CENTS.
She said that she only need that much more to buy a loaf of bread.
I did give her my loose change - more than the thirty cents but less than a dollar.

Was her request real? Maybe. Never know. BUT, everybody else wants a few bucks.

Bekeart

All the bums say god bless you. They know it often works.

If you were scammed that happens. It is no sin to be a victim. You did a good deed and have nothing to be ashamed of. On the other hand the man you gave the money to will eventually have to answer to the Lord if he did scam you. Let it go.

Watchdog,, My encounter was at the Cracker Barrel in Roanoke Rapids NC.
Currently relaxing in Myrtle Beach with an adult beverage.

I don’t regret giving the gent money, did my good deed for the day? Did not display over abundance of cash just what I carry in my pocket which is about at the most $20.

For me, I've only got a few moments to assess them-lying, telling the truth, something else?

If I think they are, or may be, telling the truth, really needing money, I give it to them.

Pretty simple and easy.

I don't want to be an enabler or be taken advantage of by a liar, but, more importantly, I don't want to fail to help someone in real need.

Bob

I went to India, for the first and so far only time, for a week in 2011 on business. I read up before I went, and the universal advice is to not give beggars money. Many are professionals, and, even if not, I read, there is no way you could give money to all the beggars who would flock to you once they realized you had given money to one of them.

I was stopped at an intersection. New Delhi, I think it was. A blisteringly hot day. By myself in the back seat of an air conditioned black limo. An emaciated woman with an emaciated baby in her arms came to my window and gently knocked on it. A beggar. After a glance, I refused to look at her. She stood there, with her hand out, as I, unmoving, stonily looked straight ahead. After what seemed a very long time, but was maybe 30 seconds, the light changed and we drove off.

I think of this scene, now and then, and I feel bad. What would it have cost me to slip a few bucks to her through a crack in the window? So what if she was a pro? She was emaciated, and being a pro, if she was, was how she earned her living, if it can be called that.

I am ashamed of my behavior.

I think it better to be wrong about this kind if thing, and be taken advantage of, than to develop and maintain a cold heart.

Even well known charities may not be the best place to donate your money. Read something lately where the head of the Red Cross makes $675,000 per year and The March of Dimes....one dime out of a dollar is about what actually makes it to the needy. There were several other charities that were badly rated and there were some with good reviews, but how do they audit the cash and really know how much was taken in?

I had a pastor and his wife walking behind me when a homeless guy asked for a few bucks so he could eat. I gladly gave him $5. As I walked with the pastor I said we all have been down and out in our lives at one time or another. How soon we forget. I hope he doesn't waste it on booze.

My dad told me during ww2 the Red Cross charged our soldiers for cigarettes while the Salvation Army gave them out for free. I always give to the Salvation Army.

If I give money out it maybe to st Jude.

What a beautiful outlook you have. I am going to remember and use this if you don't mind.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

As a rule, I never give money to panhandlers. They are all, without any exception, scamming well meaning people for money.

In some cities, they are well organized, work together, and make a lot of money. Territories and shifts are staked out, and there are sometimes fights over the areas.

They all have a sad story, and it's always some combination or variation of they need gas, they lost their wallet, they are trying to get get bus fare for their wife/children/mother. They need some money to buy new clothes for a job interview. They are staying at a nearby shelter, but need money for dinner.

Bajadoc is right. Give to legitimate charities. Your money will help people, not go to perpetuate someones drug or alcohol habit.

Every major, and some smaller, city has at least one homeless shelter. They aren't luxury, but they give people a place off the streets, a bed, shower, and a meal or two. All of them ban drugs or alcohol. People who can't follow the rules are the ones we see panhandling.

I know some will think that I'm harsh and unsympathetic. I'm not, I just know that panhandlers are running a scam on well meaning people. Don't fall for it.

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Can open, worms everywhere.

I wish I knew if the beggars were lying/scamming or not. But since I don't, I give when I'm unsure.

As to the "legitimate charities," in VietNam, the Red Cross tried to charge us for their donuts, while the Salvation Army gave them away. I gave to the Salvation Army for many years (never to the Red Cross) but time and politics has ended that for me. I'll not go into the reasons at all.

I no longer give to the Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, but my reasoning might be thought political so I'll not say more.

The United Way used to push organizations, governmental or private to give and there was an attitude that one's organization ought to give a hundred percent. Our department pushed to have all officers give something-even a dollar per pay period just to have a hundred percent.

One fellow officer, many years ago, refused and eventually was railroaded into a suspension for his failure to give, though they called it insubordination or something similar.

The UW tried the same tactic, shame the organization into obtaining a hundred percent, when I worked for the State Attorney's Office. We just refused and after a few years, the UW went away. Then we got a card, annually, to check which organizations, if any, we'd like to give money to support. We had to turn the card back in, but there were no repercussions if we didn't check any Charity at all.

Wounded Warriors had a problem, they wanted no $ from Gun related organizations and paid their top dogs waaaaaaay too much. Finally got that straightened out, I think. Our trap club supports them with a big shoot every year (now).

We have a breast cancer shoot every year, but a couple of years ago the Komen people allegedly said they didn't want gun related money either (at least that was the story at the Club). Apparently that was somehow fixed and we still have the Shoot. Either it was never said by Komen or the Club found a way to give the money, but not through them.

So what legit charities should I give to-and how do I know my money really goes to someone in need?

We give money to our Missions Programs and give when there's a need brought up in our Church, but I'm pretty much done with the big charities.

Bob

[QUOTE=BigBill;139782920]

My dad told me during ww2 the Red Cross charged our soldiers for cigarettes while the Salvation Army gave them out for free. I always give to the Salvation Army.

My Father told me the same thing that during WW2 the Red Cross charged him for donuts, candy, and cigarettes that were donated back in the states...he would NEVER give anything to the Red Cross and I follow suit to that...NOTHING to the Red Cross...

Bob, I believe that you are doing the right thing by giving through your church. I know that our Texas Baptist organizations are already underwritten on administrative cost by our un-designated cooperative gifts. Any gifts giving to specific needs, i.e Hunger, Disaster Relief, Medical missions, etc. deliver 100 cents on the dollar to the need.

I am reasonably confidant that other mainline church groups have a similar function.

Locally I have two methods:

1) Purchase canned good and donate to the local food pantry.

2) Cash donation to the local soup kitchen; where I KNOW it will be used wisely.

Bekeart

I think I can trust st Jude. Everything is free to the families of the sick children. After all they have enough to worry about.

I had a son who needed brain surgery. It's a living hell when your kid is sick. He's fine now,

You are a good person who wants to help the less fortunate. Maybe I have lived in American cities too long and have become cynical in my old age, but I would bet dollars to doughnuts you were hustled. That ten bucks went to buy a "dime bag" before you and your wife were seated at your table.

I will not give a cent to panhandlers. I just tell them "I don't carry cash", which most days is not too much of a lie. I certainly don't carry cash that I want to hand out on the street.

Be very careful around these street hustlers. They take your kindness as an indication of weakness. While you are talking to one, his partner may be sneaking up behind you.

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You're shy a few manners.

A panhandler, I have heard the same story or similar in motel parking lots, Walmart lots, and gas stations many times. From black or white, man or woman, never give them a cent! I tell them nicely, "I'm sorry I can't help you" and carry on with whatever I was doing.
Steve W

I've used this line for about 40 years. "Sorry I'm in duty". They can't get away fast enough.

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Living a dream - S&WCA #2364

I am an easy mark for panhandlers, so I try to give food and not money. Standing in front of a restaurant and asking me for oney is a sure way of getting me to walk you into the restaurant and paying for your meal.

After many years in the work force it has dawned on me that there are some people that really don't need to be working. most cannot due to physical limitations, but some are simply not wired up for modern work. They may have been great farmers in 1750, but in 2015 the world simply moves too fast for them to keep up.

In the mid 90's as a utility worker I was making $23 an hour. I read that the street people In Missoula where I lived were averaging $25 an hour panhandling working 3-4 hours a day, eating and sleeping at the homeless shelter. I give to churches, organizations and local charities and refer people to speak to them in their area when traveling.

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Front sight and squeeze