Bernie (and I'll call him that because it was his name) was a friend for many years, going back to the 5th grade - 1950 in our case. We became fast friends in high school - both of us entered the ROTC program there and became cadet officers. In the years following high school, we maintained our friendship, and my wife and I socialized often with Bernie and his wife. It was Bernie who first informed me of the death in action of our mutual friend, Ed Cribb, in Vietnam in 1963. Bernie made a special trip to my place of employment at the time to tell me in person - we both took that tragedy pretty hard.

Bernie was a Marine Corps veteran, and being a gentle soul, probably found his best niche in the Corps - he was a Chaplain's assistant!

He continued that interest in helping others in his later years, volunteering to care for older people who could not fend for themselves very well. That was his selfless nature.

In his late 70s, Bernie began to have pretty serious health problems, cardio-pulmonary in nature. He had a heart valve replacement and was recipient of no less than seven stents. And then he had a couple of severe heart attacks that left him unable to walk without assistance (thank God for his son, who looked after his dad and helped him in every way). Pretty soon his mental acuity began to fade, and it was evident that all his health problems were affecting his mind in an ever-increasing way. He eventually wound up in an urgent care ward, on oxygen resuscitation, and unable to communicate except by hand gestures and nodding one way or the other. My friend was fading fast. Three days ago, he was taken off oxygen and transported to a hospice facility.

Shortly after that, I received a call from his wife, and by the tone of her voice, I knew immediately that my friend was facing imminent death. My wife and I raced over to the hospice. We found Bernie in a coma, heavily sedated and gasping valiantly for air.

His wife tasked me in the meantime to call some cremation services to compare charges - and as I was doing this in another room, an attendant summoned me to come to his room quickly.

Bernie lay there, no longer gasping. His skin had turned that telltale grey-yellow tone. My friend of so many years was gone, leaving those who cared about him to pray for his immortal soul.

He was a good man, a good husband and father, and generous with his time in the service of others.

I reached down, touched his hand, and said "Goodby, Bernie. You were a good friend. I'll miss you."

Death will come to all of us, but when it comes to a good friend, it's damn tough to witness.

Here's a pic of Bernie and his wife during better times at one of our high school class reunions. They were a very loving couple, and I know his widow is going through hell after fifty-some years of constant companionship. He's no longer there for her. He was two months shy of his 80th birthday.

My wife and I are counting our blessings. Rest in peace, Bernie. Your pain and suffering are over. It was a privilege to be your friend.

John

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- Cogito, ergo armatus sum -

Bernie was blessed to have a friend like you.

May God bless him and you for being such a good friend ..

My condolences; I lost a high school chum and workmate this week myself.

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John

PALADIN85020 - what you wrote was touching, and would make a fitting obit for your friend. God grant you and his family peace.

Sorry for your loss, John. As we get older, it seems that this happens more often. Thank you for sharing with us.

Best Regards, Les

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SWCA 3084, SWHF 495, PGCA 3064

JOHN: Your eulogy to Your friend was Top Shelf. And I know You will miss Him. I am very sorry for Your loss. Help His wife all You can now.
ken

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DON'T MEAN NOTHING:

That's sure a nice tribute to a long time friend.
I'd like to be that kind of friend.
God bless the mans family and loved ones.

Truly sorry for your loss. I had a buddy who passed away from cancer and the Christmas before he passed he came over to gift me a Swiss Army knife. Asked him to stay so we could shoot the bull but he said he had to get home. That was the last time I saw him. We definitely put a lotta rounds down range together. Called him a few times before his passing but he must have been in pain as he always cut the calls short. Unfortunately for me our local paper delivery person used to throw the paper in the drive way and many times it would end up a soggy mess. Saw his home being renovated and got a real sick feeling. Checked the obituary notices and learned he had passed. Since it was a few months later I asked in the Lounge if anyone felt it was out of place to send condolence card. Most all said yes. Anyway, I am truly sorry to hear of your lifelong friends passing. Seems really good friends are hard to find. Frank

I am inclined to believe that Bernie has little need for your prayers. The way he lived his life and his belief in God were more than enough to pave the way to his reward. However his wife and family could use some prayers to help ease the grief. When we lose a loved one it is hard to get passed the idea that this is not the end but just the beginning. You were both lucky to have had a lifetime of friend ship to share! A friendship that didn't end. It was just postponed for a little while.

Sorry for your lost John !

The mark of a truly weathy man is not measured in dollars but in good friends.

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LEX ET ORDO

My condolences on the loss of your friend Paladin. Best regards, 18DAI

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7 +1 Rounds of hope & change

John I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.
prayers sent for you and his family.

SEMPER FI!! Another Marine reporting, Sir, he served his time in Hell.

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USMC Life-GOA IDPA A10051

My most heartfelt condolences for your loss.

A dear friend of mine suffered a stroke on Memorial Day. He was the poster child for a healthy, active 70-year-old. He's still in Denver. I spoke with his wife yesterday. He's improving ever so slowly. Still really angry at his inabilities. It'll be a long road.

Really brought home the fragility of life to me and the need to leave every conversation in peace. Don't die with anyone thinking you're angry or mad at them.

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Wrangler of stray Chiefs
Bob

So sorry; may his memory be a blessing. Your lifelong friendship surely sounds as if it was.

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Now go make God proud...

Seeing this thread brings back the meeting up with an old friend that I wrote about a little while ago. We have known each other since we were 8 years old, and now we are in our mid-60's. He looked me up because I was his oldest childhood friend he knew of being alive. Peter is now a published author, and he gave me one of his books, and started the inscription with "My longest oldest childhood friend."

Just looking at the picture of Bernie and his beautiful wife you can tell that they had something very special. Bernie truly was lucky to have your friendship, and his widow still is.

It's been my experience that the really great human beings I've known were like Bernie: quietly living lives of caring and loving service to others. They give the rest of us something to aim for.

My condolences, John. Take comfort in the awareness that Bernie knew you loved him to the last.

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Oh well, what the hell.

My condolences. Very tough to go through.

RIP in peace, Bernie.

John:
I am sorry for your loss of a "true Friend". That kind, is truly hard to find, but, one can accept their positive ending. It's is the easy to acquire friends, ones that you have done gratis work for. It's "Old friends", that you have shared friendships with, through good, and hard times, working times, hobby, times, pleasant times, and family members, that ether choose not to, or can't, due to Alzheimer's disease, or other mental disorder, remember you, that I really have trouble loosing, for what ever reason.

Chubbo

“May his memory be a blessing.” Words with both wisdom and good wishes, I’m sure. Worth repeating.

Beautiful tribute, and sure seems well earned.

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NHI, 10-8.

My prayers and deepest condolences up for his friends and family and for you.

My best friend for the last 56 years and Icould soon be facing the very same situation. He turned 74 last December and I'll turn 74 later this month. Lately we joke about What we will do on each other's grave but we both are keenly aware of the eminent reality that looms before us.

Robert Duval said these words at a grave site in the movie, BROKEN TRAIL: "Sweet grass to hay, birth to death; we live between the eternities." That is pretty profound if you think about it, in my view. Almost poetic.

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Real men love cats!

Very kind words John. My condolences.

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paws for friendship

Beautifully and gently written. Bernie would be proud.

My condolences.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

Very moving, Paladin, and for some reason I read it today -- Father's Day -- the occasion of the death of one of my own best friends back in 2009. I first met Bob when we were in college, and our friendship continued until his untimely passing at age 54 from a diagnosed heart ailment for which he had not gotten around to getting treatment. He had given a Father's Day message at his church that morning, gone for a bike ride as he often did, and had a massive heart attack while he was out. Thinking of him and the wife and kids left behind brings tears even now, as he was one of the kindest, funniest, deepest, and most admirable people I have ever met. Like you said about your friend Bernie, I am privileged to have known him. I might not have thought about Bob today if I hadn't read your homage. Thank you for that, and my condolences to you on a loss that I can certainly empathize with.

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Ukraine -- now more than ever

My sympathies for your loss.

Standing with a group of young pallbearers at my best friends funeral one asked how long we had been friends. I told them a few stories and the length of our friendship when another stated wow, that's a long time. yeah...I don't have the years left to make new lifelong friend like that!

His wife and son asked me at the visitation if I was the one who placed the fishing rod and reel in his casket? Yep; along with hooks,leads, a bag of his favorite fishing worms and a pack of smokes(they were tucked behind him out of sight). They both said it was a nice touch that they hadn't thought about.

Leaving a friends funeral thirty years prior I'd asked him if I died first would he place a rod and reel in my casket? He said sure...Why?
"I don't want to get where I'm going and be without a fishing rod." We walked a little farther and he asked would you do the same for me?....

I know how you feel. It is hard to lose an old friend.

A good friend like Bernie can not be replaced. As I age this becomes more evident . So are my old friends from WW2 & Korea. A good friend is like a treasure in a box. I still love my S&W's & always will.