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12-31-2019, 10:57 PM
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Absent Comrade
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: N. Alabama
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Ringing in 2020
It’s almost 2020, I’m 63 and I still have so many unanswered questions!!!! I haven’t found out who let the dogs out...how to get to Sesame Street... why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps...Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same...why eggs are packaged in a flimsy carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that’s tough as nails.. why “abbreviated” is such a long word; or why is there a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator... why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections... why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs... and just what exactly is Victoria’s secret? Can you hear me now?...and do you really think I am this witty?? ... I actually got this from a friend, who stole it from her brother’s girlfriend’s, uncle’s cousin’s who lived next door to an old class mate’s mailman...Now it is your turn to take it from me.......
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triggers dog-pile egomaniacs
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6518John, bill2000, D Brown, ditrina, GB, Geronimo Jim, Kurusu, Lee Barner, loknload, old bear, Old Seabee, Protocall_Design, ralph7, RobertJ., Rustyt1953, steelslaver, steveno, tops, walkinghorse |
12-31-2019, 11:13 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: HOUSTON, TEXAS
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I was just going to brag about getting home early with the family watching TV after a nice dinner with a few Coronas falling asleep while amateurs drive drunk all over town.
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12-31-2019, 11:17 PM
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Member
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Who put the ram in the ram-alama-ding-dong?
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12-31-2019, 11:21 PM
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US Veteran
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How do you spell bologna? Why is there a K in knife? Aquafina does not make water, they make plastic bottles.
I tired who is next.
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Carpriver.
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12-31-2019, 11:24 PM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Hamilton, Ohio
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Why can't women order their own fries.
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Music/Sports/Beer fan
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01-01-2020, 01:36 AM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Dec 2014
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Why did Kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?
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USS Brewton FF1086
SWCA#3597
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01-01-2020, 07:52 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Hollywood
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Why is the third hand on my new watch called the second hand?
Happy New Year All
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01-01-2020, 08:38 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ohio
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What if
If you choked a Smurf what color would it turn
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01-01-2020, 11:02 AM
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Vendor
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Kansas City area
Posts: 6,190
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Liked 13,614 Times in 4,291 Posts
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Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about? Why is Iceland mostly green and Greenland is mostly covered in ice? Why does the remote control work on the TV but not on the wife? Why do slippers have corrugated soles for traction?
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01-01-2020, 11:09 AM
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Member
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Why do places that stay open 24/7/365 have locks on their doors?
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LIVE FROM THE DAWGHOUSE
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01-01-2020, 11:16 AM
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Absent Comrade
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Portugal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misswired
It’s almost 2020, I’m 63 and I still have so many unanswered questions!!!! I haven’t found out who let the dogs out...how to get to Sesame Street... why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps...Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same...why eggs are packaged in a flimsy carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that’s tough as nails.. why “abbreviated” is such a long word; or why is there a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator... why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons... why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections... why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune... why did you just try to sing those two previous songs... and just what exactly is Victoria’s secret? Can you hear me now?...and do you really think I am this witty?? ... I actually got this from a friend, who stole it from her brother’s girlfriend’s, uncle’s cousin’s who lived next door to an old class mate’s mailman...Now it is your turn to take it from me.......
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You will, in due time, get the answers to all the unanswered questions.
Just don't be in a hurry to get them. 
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Expect the unexpected
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01-01-2020, 12:04 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 12,572
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Liked 32,463 Times in 7,773 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bill2000
Who put the ram in the ram-alama-ding-dong?
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I'll go out on a limb here with a wild guess and say it was the same guy who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop. 
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01-01-2020, 12:13 PM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Odessa, Texas
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If Elvis was such a famous person, why did they bury him in the backyard like a dead hamster? 
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01-01-2020, 02:49 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Peoples Republic of Maine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Watchdog
I'll go out on a limb here with a wild guess and say it was the same guy who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop. |
Maybe. Whoever it was, I'd like to shake his hand.
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01-01-2020, 03:14 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Dynamo of Dixie
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Liked 1,895 Times in 559 Posts
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Why you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.
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01-01-2020, 03:25 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Near Gettysburg
Posts: 9,276
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bill2000
Maybe. Whoever it was, I'd like to shake his hand.
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He made my baby fall in love with me (Yeaahh).
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01-01-2020, 09:29 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Central Arizona
Posts: 1,033
Likes: 1,098
Liked 1,746 Times in 587 Posts
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How many licks does it take? The world may never know. I certainly won't.
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01-01-2020, 09:33 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 6,787
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Liked 15,764 Times in 4,970 Posts
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Now days, M&Ms melt in your hand?
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No baby we aint
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01-01-2020, 09:38 PM
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Member
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: DUNNELLON, FLORIDA USA
Posts: 11,114
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Liked 16,323 Times in 4,240 Posts
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What am I doing here ?
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01-01-2020, 09:46 PM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Hamilton, Ohio
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Why isn't the word "phonetically" spelled with an "f"? *
If people from Poland are Poles why aren't people from Holland Holes? *
* Steven Wright
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Music/Sports/Beer fan
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01-02-2020, 01:56 AM
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Member
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Location: Sierra Nevada foothills
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I spent the New Year at home. Called my kids & friends. Went to bed about 10:30, read for a while. Midnight the neighbors woke firing shot guns. Quite a bit different from my younger years. Never got a 502 but deserved one many times.
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01-02-2020, 08:12 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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01-02-2020, 02:55 PM
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Moderator
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Miami,Fl
Posts: 3,840
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I am this Witty.
Regards,
turnerriver
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turnerriver
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01-02-2020, 03:03 PM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Hamilton, Ohio
Posts: 44,618
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turnerriver
I am this Witty.
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Since birth. 
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Music/Sports/Beer fan
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01-02-2020, 03:19 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 6,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rustyt1953
Why can't women order their own fries.
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01-02-2020, 03:22 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: SW Wyoming
Posts: 1,065
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Liked 2,260 Times in 695 Posts
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A Thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. How do it know which is which?
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01-02-2020, 04:31 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: North Florida
Posts: 3,097
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If your feet smell, and your nose runs, are you built backwards?
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Reg. Magnum wants/Rossi wallet
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01-02-2020, 11:41 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Near Gettysburg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bugkiller99
If your feet smell, and your nose runs, are you built backwards?
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No, upside down.
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01-03-2020, 03:44 AM
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Member
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Sioux City, Iowa
Posts: 82
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I can answer the reason for the d in fridge. My grandparents always called the refrigerator the Frigidaire. Which was a brand name way back years ago. Fridge is a diminutive of Frigidaire. They were of the greatest generation. I also call a refrigerator a Frigidaire just cause I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was a kid.
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01-03-2020, 02:19 PM
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US Veteran
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dodgecharger
I can answer the reason for the d in fridge. My grandparents always called the refrigerator the Frigidaire. Which was a brand name way back years ago. Fridge is a diminutive of Frigidaire. They were of the greatest generation. I also call a refrigerator a Frigidaire just cause I spent a lot of time with my grandparents when I was a kid.
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No wonder everybody looks at me like I'm an idiot! I still call it an "ice box."
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01-03-2020, 03:45 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Black Hills
Posts: 3,054
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaricopaKid
No wonder everybody looks at me like I'm an idiot! I still call it an "ice box."
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But you are cool!
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Wherever my mind isn't
Jim
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Posting Rules
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Linear Mode
