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12-04-2020, 04:44 PM
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Moderator
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Dead Penguins Explained!!!
Dead Penguins - I never knew this!
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
Where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
scroll down
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
It's so easy to fool OLD people.
I am sorry, an urge came over me that made me do it!!!
Oh quit whining I fell for it, too 
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SWCA #2306
DAV in honor of POP
Last edited by ditrina; 12-04-2020 at 04:49 PM.
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12-04-2020, 04:48 PM
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I like Penguins.
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SOS USA
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12-04-2020, 04:50 PM
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I thought this was going to be some BBC-Nature worthy lesson. I could hear the Nature narrator is my head reading this along with me.
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Possum—The other white meat!
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12-04-2020, 04:55 PM
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I thought they kicked him in the ice hole. 
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12-04-2020, 05:02 PM
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Well, it's nice of them to dress up in formal wear for the ceremony.
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12-04-2020, 05:02 PM
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Music/Sports/Beer fan
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12-04-2020, 05:28 PM
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You should get a time out for this post!
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12-04-2020, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Geronimo Jim
You should get a time out for this post!
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Who moderates the moderators when they have dipped into Rusty’s stash!!??
I guess the ghosts of Horace Smith and Daniel Wesson? (In honor of our recent ghost threads).
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Possum—The other white meat!
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12-04-2020, 06:23 PM
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Drunk: Officer, I just ran over three Penguins!
Officer: There are no Penguins in NY city !!
Drunk: Oh, then they must have been Nuns...............
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12-04-2020, 06:26 PM
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Ed—This reminds me of a deputy friend that was called out on a one car accident out on a country road. He found a local gentleman—think Otis Campbell—was roaring drunk and had run his old truck into a power pole for a feeder line to a house.
He told the deputy “Deputy, don’t arrest me, arrest the lineman that put this pole so close to the ditch!”
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Possum—The other white meat!
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12-04-2020, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JcMack
I like Penguins.
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Not me. Too fishy and difficult to pluck.
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12-04-2020, 06:44 PM
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Guy's transporting a load of penguins to the zoo in the big city. His truck breaks down, stranding him and the penguins out on the lonely highway.
Another truck, no load, pulls up and asks if he can help. First trucker says, "Yeah, thanks man. I gotta take these penguins to the zoo in the big city today, but my dang truck's broke down, so if you could help me out and take 'em there for me, I'll pay ya $200."
Second trucker says sure, no problem, happy to help, hooks up his truck to the penguin trailer and off they go.
Some hours later, first trucker, truck fixed, makes it into the city, He's aghast to see the second trucker standing in front of a line of penguins on a street corner just loitering there. He pulls up, jumps out, runs over, and says to the second trucker: "What the hell?! I paid you $200 to take these penguins to the zoo, dammit!"
Second trucker says, "Well I took 'em to the zoo already, but there's change left over so now we're goin' to the movies...."
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12-04-2020, 06:49 PM
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Music/Sports/Beer fan
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12-04-2020, 06:50 PM
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Absent Comrade
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JcMack
I like Penguins.
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Yeah! Me too.
These penguins mostly 
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12-04-2020, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ditrina
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
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And what do they sing for female penguins? "Enquiring minds need to know."
Last edited by oldbrownhat; 12-04-2020 at 07:16 PM.
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12-04-2020, 08:44 PM
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I never knew there were so many penguin jokes.
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12-04-2020, 08:48 PM
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__________________
Keep on Chooglin'
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12-04-2020, 08:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Golddollar
I never knew there were so many penguin jokes.
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There weren't, but it seems the pandemic is driving people to fill that previously-undiscovered void. These are desperate times, and a quick search for "penguin jokes" shows HOW desperate they really are.
Last edited by oldbrownhat; 12-04-2020 at 08:58 PM.
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12-04-2020, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Golddollar
I never knew there were so many penguin jokes.
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Emu comments and stories went on for pages back in the day!
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Wherever my mind isn't
Jim
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12-04-2020, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by walkinghorse
Emu comments and stories went on for pages back in the day!
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Even before the Liberty Mutual commercials?
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12-04-2020, 09:46 PM
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Absent Comrade
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ditrina
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
It's so easy to fool OLD people.
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That does it!!
I'm taking you off my friends list!
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12-04-2020, 09:57 PM
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Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by walkinghorse
Emu comments and stories went on for pages back in the day!
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EMU comments??? Ye gods.... As they say in northern England (and someone's sig line here), "There's nowt as queer as folk."
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Golddollar
Even before the Liberty Mutual commercials?
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Apparently I've missed a lot by not having TV.
And speaking of those ads, according to The Columbian,
Quote:
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The “LiMu Emu,” featured in ads for Liberty Mutual Insurance, has been a big hit for the company, which has gotten requests for emu-themed merchandise and has plans for more emu commercials later this summer. As for how the emu appears in the ads, here’s the word from Jenna Lebel, vice president, brand and integrated marketing for the company: “LiMu Emu is a mix of a real bird and CGI. Live emus were used during the initial shoot on set. The final images of the emu in the commercials are a blend of footage captured from the live emus and our digitally created emu. Goodby, Silverstein & Partners (Liberty Mutual’s advertising agency of record) collaborated with The Mill LA, a creative technology and visual effects studio, to bring LiMu Emu to life. For the commercials, the team created a digital model based on the live emu, which was used to supplement the footage.”
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12-05-2020, 07:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Golddollar
I never knew there were so many penguin jokes.
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Apparently there's not  .
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12-05-2020, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Onomea
Guy's transporting a load of penguins to the zoo in the big city. His truck breaks down, stranding him and the penguins out on the lonely highway.
Another truck, no load, pulls up and asks if he can help. First trucker says, "Yeah, thanks man. I gotta take these penguins to the zoo in the big city today, but my dang truck's broke down, so if you could help me out and take 'em there for me, I'll pay ya $200."
Second trucker says sure, no problem, happy to help, hooks up his truck to the penguin trailer and off they go.
Some hours later, first trucker, truck fixed, makes it into the city, He's aghast to see the second trucker standing in front of a line of penguins on a street corner just loitering there. He pulls up, jumps out, runs over, and says to the second trucker: "What the hell?! I paid you $200 to take these penguins to the zoo, dammit!"
Second trucker says, "Well I took 'em to the zoo already, but there's change left over so now we're goin' to the movies...."
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12-05-2020, 11:11 AM
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Tastes just like spotted owl.
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I've still got it made.
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12-05-2020, 11:34 AM
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Is Pittsburgh's Sidney Crosby involved in this in any way?
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12-05-2020, 11:38 AM
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12-05-2020, 11:42 AM
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Most penguins look like they're wearing tuxedos.
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Ukraine -- now more than ever
Last edited by ditrina; 12-05-2020 at 11:46 AM.
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12-05-2020, 12:05 PM
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They didn’t always bury their dead. Penguins used their departed comrades as bait to hunt polar bears in Antarctica, but they hunted the bears into extinction.
It was a different story in the Arctic. Penguins once thrived up there, but those northern birds had an odd sense of humor and went the way of the dodo.
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"I also cook."
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12-06-2020, 03:33 PM
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I'm told they have thumbs..
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I used to be disgusted..
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12-06-2020, 03:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JcMack
I like Penguins.
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Roasted or smoked?
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BTDT, Got The T-Shirt
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12-06-2020, 07:02 PM
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I think the Mods are having a party without us...
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“Look life in its iron face”
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12-07-2020, 01:05 AM
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Penguins is Practically Chickens - 8 Ball Bunny
Penguins is Practically Chickens - 8 Ball Bunny - YouTube
I like penguins...lol
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12-07-2020, 02:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessie
I think the Mods are having a party without us...
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Yep, a penguin party. All are wearing their tuxedos.
What gun do you carry with a tux??
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Super Snooper
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12-07-2020, 06:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pawngal
Yep, a penguin party. All are wearing their tuxedos.
What gun do you carry with a tux??
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A Walther PPK, naturally. Along with a martini, shaken, not stirred.
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BTDT, Got The T-Shirt
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12-07-2020, 07:27 AM
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Moderator
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__________________
SWCA #2306
DAV in honor of POP
Last edited by ditrina; 12-07-2020 at 07:29 AM.
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12-07-2020, 12:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ditrina
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Well played!
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BTDT, Got The T-Shirt
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12-07-2020, 12:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by quikdraw67
Roasted or smoked?
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Neither... and you should know better!
The USA and 13 other nations have signed onto the Antarctic Treaty of 1959, which makes it illegal to hunt penguins, disturb their eggs or nests, or harass the birds in any way.
The answer is so painfully obvious...
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Wait for it! 
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If you want to eat a penguin, you’ll need to poach it! 
There’s even a barleywine ale that pairs nicely with poached penguin.
I’m here all week. Please tip the staff...
Edit: Except for Sal!
Second edit: OK, he liked it. You can tip Sal too!
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"I also cook."
Last edited by s&wchad; 12-07-2020 at 12:50 PM.
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12-07-2020, 12:46 PM
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Moderator
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s&wchad
Neither... and you should know better!
The USA and 13 other nations have signed onto the Antarctic Treaty of 1959, which makes it illegal to hunt penguins, disturb their eggs or nests, or harass the birds and any way.
The answer is so painfully obvious...
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Wait for it!
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If you want to eat a penguin, you’ll need to poach it!
There’’s even a barleywine ale that pairs nicely with poached penguin.
I’m here all week. Please tip the staff... |
BOOOO HIIIIISSSSSSS !!!!!BUT I LIKED IT 
__________________
SWCA #2306
DAV in honor of POP
Last edited by ditrina; 12-07-2020 at 12:49 PM.
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12-07-2020, 01:13 PM
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Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ditrina
BOOOO HIIIIISSSSSSS !!!!!BUT I LIKED IT |
Agreed. And to repeat,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rustyt1953
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As to the brandywine ale (which sounds interesting), what we need, vis à vis this thread, is a
Poached Penguin Pandemic Porter
from Alliterative Ales in Anchorage AK
Last edited by oldbrownhat; 12-07-2020 at 06:50 PM.
Reason: added silliness
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Posting Rules
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Linear Mode
