You can tell a lot about a wife’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

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Live long and prosper

When she buries her finger nails in my leg up to her first knuckle, I know she is scared!

When she looks at me and bursts into tears, she is mildly sad.

When she burns a hole in my good Hawaiian shirts while ironing, I know she is distracted.

Ivan

My wife's Italian so when she's mad not only do I know it but so do the neighbors.

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Keep on Chooglin'

Beware the flying cast iron frying pan with half cooked bacon.

Cranky wife

She was cranky because her husband was late coming home again after having a few brews after golf so she decided to leave a note saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me”.

Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.

"She's finally gone...yeah I know, it is about time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like.”

He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed, seething with rage and with tears in her eyes. She grabbed the note to see what he wrote.

"I can see your feet.”

"We're outta bread; be back in five minutes."

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Kenny
Endeavor to persevere.

I use the volume and tone abdication system myself.

I knew she was mad when she sat in front of me, legs crossed,arms folded across her chest and saying "FINE'.
Jim

Does anyone remember the old "mood rings"? Late 1970's, I think, jewelry-style ring with a large stone that would change color depending on the wearer's moods. Supposedly glowed a warm blue when a good mood prevailed.

I remember that the mood ring left nasty red bumps on my head a couple of times.

I wouldn’t know. I’ve never made my wife mad.

And now the rest of the story.....

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“Look life in its iron face”

That's easy, she's Hispanic. I wouldn't make her mad either, you may guess how I know.

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Release the Kraken

I knew she was pissed when she had my sister serve me with the divorce papers
(I’d moved out a few days earlier with 2 days notice. She could be touchy..)

I get the silent treatment. It's really not so bad.

I can tell when her mouth is open and I just went deaf after a high piercing sound that she is yelling at me. She has told me that divorce would be too good for me.

Or, they are wrapped around your neck squeezing your Adam’s apple into your spine

You know there are two theories in dealing with women...
neither one works.

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2 Blessed 2B Stressed

I do a better than fair job dealing with just one woman, I can't imagine dealing with plural!

Ivan

"Whats wrong?"

"nothing"

head for the hills

I do a better than fair job dealing with just one woman, I can't imagine dealing with plural!

Ivan