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Old 08-11-2009, 12:24 PM
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Talking How To Handle a Traffic Stop

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: This car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir, that's where I put it after I shot the owner of this car and stuffed his body in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?

Driver: Yes sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police and the captain approached the driver to difuse the tense situation. The captain slowly approached the driver.

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure, here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration card.

Captain: Could you slowly open the glove box so I can see if there's a gun in there?

Driver: Yes sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there was a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

The trunk is opened: no body.

Captain: I don't understand. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box and that there was a body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet he told you that I was speeding, too.
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Old 08-11-2009, 02:16 PM
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It only works in a Burt Reynolds movie. I tried that kind of dialog, with any luck I'll make parole this go around.
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Old 08-11-2009, 07:17 PM
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hahahahaha
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:21 PM
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Last Teusday I was on my way home from the Doctors Office. I was 12 miles from my town, was in a hurry to get home so I could use my own toilet!!! I'm on a wide open 2 lane road with a posted 55 MPH speed limit, no one behind me no one in front of me, I'm doing about 70 MPH. I come over a rise in the road and see a County Mounty traveling right at me. I see him pull over to the shoulder, no lights yet. I hit my brakes and pulled over to my shoulder, waived in acknowledgement to the Officer as I passed him. He pulled around behind me with the lights on. By the time he got to my window, I already had my licenses, registration and proof of insurance card in hand ready for him.

Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: For Speeding.
Officer: How fast were you going?
Me: About 70!
Officer: He nodded and said I got you at 71! What is your hurry?
Me: I'm comming home from my doctors office, here is a copy of the Lab work sheet for tommarrows test, and I'm trying to get home before I ***** my pants!
Officer: I'll be right back and went to the squad car. He came right back, handed me my credentials and said "I'm going to give you a warning, so be carefull!" and he walked away!
Me: I made it home without messing up my pants!

Honesty & Understanding!
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:34 PM
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I knew this caracter at work. He was suppose to go see his ex wife and give her some money. His new wife was jealous and didnt trust him. Finaly they came to a agreement. He would stop about a half mile from her house and hide his wife in the trunk. They did. He got to the ex`s house and while dealing with her, some cops rolled on him and demanded to look in the trunk. They had got a call he was loading a body! True story!
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:42 PM
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Im sure that would backfire on me.
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:29 PM
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I stopped a feller one Sat afternoon for speeding.

He said his wife was gonna get pregnant that afternoon and he kinda wanted to be there..

I gave him a warning and told him I thought she would wait for him.

Had to give him something for originality.. That was a new one for me.
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Old 08-11-2009, 10:25 PM
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Guy stumbles out of the bar at closing time, drops his keys two or three times, finally gets in the car and gets about 4 blocks away from the bar weaving all over the street when the cop who has been watching pulls him over. To the cops surprise, the guy gets out-he is clear headed cooperative well mannered and sober as a judge. The cop asks him what's the deal and the guy responds "I'm the designated decoy"
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Old 08-12-2009, 02:35 AM
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Unhappy

This only works if you are in the NHL, NBA, or NFL.
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Old 08-12-2009, 05:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iggy View Post
I stopped a feller one Sat afternoon for speeding.

He said his wife was gonna get pregnant that afternoon and he kinda wanted to be there..

I gave him a warning and told him I thought she would wait for him.

Had to give him something for originality.. That was a new one for me.
Good call, Ig.
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