Men always complain about not being able to understand women.

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead, Raised Eybrow
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it. Just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.


giz

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Non gratum anus rodentum

Now that you understand this you do realize that you'll have to be eliminated, right?

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Lynnie, Professional Pest

THIS is the absolute best description of the difference betwixt women and men that I have ever seen!

They forgot a row of rocker switches and a few push buttons.

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Lynnie, Professional Pest

That panel is obviously a younger and inexperienced woman.

The Men's Guide to what the Woman really mean

You want = You want

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I a little fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Yes = No | No = No | Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]



giz

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Non gratum anus rodentum

Men would do well to remember that women only hear what they THINK a man says.

Sir, when I first started dating the future Mrs. Ron H., I told her, "I am not responsible for my actions in your dreams." This has saved me a great deal of trouble over the years.

Hope this helps, and Semper Fi.

Ron H.

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Wishin' don't make it so.

I heard that!

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Lynnie, Professional Pest

I have a couple more.


I'm tired - No.

Not tonight - Own a calendar?

Another time - See 1.

I'm sorry - I forgot this one.

I was wrong - I'm not familiar with this one at all.

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PC, censorship
with a smile.

You guys all know we're in deep serious when the rest of Joni's posse show's up.

Words like Fine, and Go Ahead (raised eyebrow) are going to get slung around alot...

In the end we will all be sniveling and crying in the fetal position with our ears bleeding, in the corner of our rooms saying....

Dear God, Please Make it Stop....


giz

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Non gratum anus rodentum

"You guys all know we're in deep serious when the rest of Joni's posse show's up...."

Actually she has handled the problem quite well without a posse.!
Here's hoping she comes to 'grips' with the issue and continues to show some fine Herrets for us to drool over!

And to show complete compliance (sucking up!).....YOU GO GIRL!

Joni scares me by herself. I'm like a moth near a 500 watt bulb.

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PC, censorship
with a smile.

More like the misquito in the barrel of my favorite 44 mag just prior to touch off.
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One character, the only one!

Does that mean you want me to forgive you and make nice?

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PC, censorship
with a smile.

No, but thanks for asking.
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Princess and guardian of the Herrett's.

And when the bitter half does screw up, it will take no more than 60 seconds of conversation to determine the man actually caused her to make the mistake and put him on the defensive...

Loud SighAlthough not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
The strange thing is that my cats do that to me also. Does that mean they think I am an idiot also?

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Ipsis Rebus Dictantitbus

No, but, they do think they are superior (like women do).

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PC, censorship
with a smile.