I recently got a Shield 9mm last week and went shooting at the range a few days ago. While the Shield fits my wife's hand real well, it appeared to have a lot more muzzle flip/recoil than she was expecting. We did take a lesson couple of months back and she seemed to shoot the Glock 19 okay. I thought the Shield would be perfect for her, but apparently not. It is a smaller gun so it's hard to get around physics on muzzle flip I guess. I'm shooting S&B 9mm and not sure if that is an extra hot round. Bear with me here.. I'm new to guns.

I know the standard advice would be to take her to the range and have her shoot alot of guns which I plan on doing, but I wanted to post this here to get some ideas first.. especially for those of you that have been in a similar predicament

Specifically,

Is there a 9mm round out there that's softer (if that's a term to use) ?

Would the 9c be a good choice possible with less muzzle flip/recoil ?

S&W model 642 ?

Maybe the M&P 22 ?

Ideas ?

Thx

Most all 9mm loads have very similar recoil. If there was a larger variation in recoil among 9mm loads then functional reliability would be at risk.

Unless I missed it, you haven't stated what role the gun will fill for your wife. That needs to be decided before she and you try to decide what gun to pick.

If it's a home defense gun, then a 9mm auto or .38 revolver that's heavier than the Shield and fits her hand well would seem to be a good possibility. You mentioned her doing okay with the G19; why isn't that an option? Is it too big for her hands? Other options would include the Kahr K9 or T9 (all steel, weight to soak up recoil, good grip for a woman's hands), an all steel j-frame loaded with .38 (S&W 640, 60, 649), Ruger SP101, or the M&P 9c.

If she's looking for a training/range gun, then I'd recommend a .22, either revolver or auto.

If she's looking for a carry gun, then it will have to be small enough and light enough to conceal in whatever manner of concealment she chooses but will also have to be comfortable enough to shoot for her to develop decent skill with it. Options might be a S&W 317 with 1 7/8" barrel, a Kel Tec P32, Beretta 21A .22, etc.

Recoil with the 642 will be at least as bad as the Shield, or worse, maybe much worse, depending on the loads chosen.

IMO the first thing that should be done is to get her some quality instruction, which will help her pick out her own gun.

The biggest lesson I learned from going through this process with my wife is that she must own the process and the decision. That's difficult though because many women don't know enough about firearms to even know which questions to ask, or how to understand and articulate what issues they have with a particular gun. For example many women seem to believe that a smaller gun has less recoil than a larger gun. These are some of the reasons why I think it's so important to get her some good basic instruction from an instructor who has experience teaching women to shoot, and understands the differences between teaching a woman to shoot and teaching a man. It also might help if that instructor is a woman.

I'd say go with what she can handle/control even if it's a .22lr . Better than carrying something that can't be placed on the mark. I bought a a Taurus PT-22, never carried it, bought out of impluse but a .22lr can do some damage with well placed shots. Smaller framed pistols will give more muzzle flip compared to the full-sized counterparts.

I'm a NRA instructor, have been for years, here's a couple of points I've learned along the way.
1. Women are better students and usually end up being better shots then men.
2. Do not try to pick out a handgun for your wife.
3. Let her shoot many different handguns suitable for her intended purpose.
4. Borrow, rent, go to gun stores, have her feel fit and triggers, as many as she can.
5. She'll tell you when she finds the one that fits and feels good in her hand.
6. You'll probably end up buying more than one over the first year or two.
7. Find a female instructor for her if you can, it's important that she learn without the dominate male "I know it all and you're just a dumb broad" influence, in the instructor or other students.
Now, as to your question, short barreled handguns are hard to shoot, both from a recoil standpoint and a accuracy standpoint. Therefore, if a snubby is going to be the final choice it might be good to start with a .22.
If she is not adverse to recoil, a 38spl or a 9mm is a good way to go.
Revolvers are inherently safer for a beginning student and some females do have a problem working the slide on a semi automatic.
With all that said, from my wife's personal experience (I was smart enough not to be her instructor), here's her progression in handguns.
She did have an excellent female instructor, has her carry permit and does so daily.
1st handgun. Ruger LCR 357, good trigger, good trainer, simple to operate and handled light 357 (GS 125's) easily. A lot of training shooting was with .38 target loads. The LCR was not reliable with 357's, back to the factory once, returned, would still lock up, so it went down the road.
2nd handgun, Sig P238, easy to handle, slide is easy to use, utterly reliable, never any problems, over 750 rounds, and is used as the preferred daily carry.
3rd handgun. S&W9c, same as above, totally reliable, bonus is the three different hand grip sizes and she can put on the one that fits the best. She has learned to work the slide and shoots it very well. It is her range gun and night stand gun.
4th One that surprised me is my Colt Defender 45, she shoots that thing better than I do, recoil is not a problem. Keep in mind that this progression is over a three year period, she also is proficient with my Mossy 500 short barrel 12ga and my Colt AR15. It took a while to get the fires lit, but watch out when they start to burn and get your check book out! By the way, she has more common sense then most men when it comes to firearms, she's 68 years old and grandma can shoot!
Any of the name brand manufacturers produce suitable products with caveats, wait a year before buying a new model, don't be the beta tester for the manufacturers. Any company can produce a lemon once in a while, handgun companies, car companies, etc, look for "unbiased" reviews, if you can find them. Then, make sure you put the "fun factor" into shooting. With the proper training it'll be something that will last the the both of you for the rest of your lives.

Good post!

__________________
Corpsman Up!
1990-2010

A BIG +1!

My wife had had several S&W M37 revolvers over the years and a PPK.
For her CCW, she tried a number of semi's in 9mm and picked the Glock 19.
I ordered another with the Glock Safety Lock but after 6 months upon checking the order found Glock no longer making the Safety Lock.
A S&W M&P 9mm was ordered with mag safety/internal lock which she is shooting now. It is mounted in her vehicle's center console and left in the vehicle at this time, hence the requirement to render it inoperable.
The other concern with the G19 was the very light trigger pull. I have the NY1 and NY2 triggers but have not installed them yet but in any event the M&P fits the bill.
She is learning control of the 9mm with 124 gr Lawman for practise and 124 GoldDot for carry.
Be aware that finding a reduced 9mm load may impair functioning if she has a weak hand. With 115 gr Win White Box, my experienced constant failures to feed with the G19 while I had no problems. 124 gr Lawman and Gold Dot work with no failures.
Learning a 9mm will take time but its worth it not to have to carry a 22lr or similar.
It's taken my wife about 6 months of once a week practise to be able to hit the black consistantly at 15 yds. I suggest a firm rest to allow her to learn trigger control and sight alignment before unsupported shooting.-Dick

All the above is great advice. I am also an instructor and the best advice I can give is start with the 22 and let her get comfortable with that gun. Most instructors can solve the recoil issue for her just by changing her stance and grip. I bought a Shield just for my female students. If it fits her hand and she can rack the slide with ease keep it until she is better trained and knows how to handle recoil.


The first question I would ask is weight bullets were you shooting?
You may try 115 gr. target ammo which may reduce the felt recoil somewhat. Full power self defense loads are not really a great place to start.

Forget the tiny little gun thoughts, women have the option of carrying a purse, make use of it. Most revolvers are made of steel and are much heavier for their size than plastic pistols and weight will dampen recoil. A small plastic pistol is about the worst option for the recoil sensitive shooter not to mention the tiny sight radius.

That is what my wife did. She took my FNP-9 and it is her EDC now. She outshouts me occasionally and has purchased other firearms but always returns to the FNP-9.

Wow. I knew posting here I would get some good advice and man I sure did. This is all excellent ! After reading these posts and thinking through it a bit more, I think I'm leaning toward a 22 only because I think she will gain confidence and enjoy target shooting more without being afraid. I totally agree she should own the process of selecting the gun... but it's also true she just doesn't know what to do. We are both new to guns, so having a gun you are comfortable with, enjoy shooting that has an external safety (for now) I think is important. Maybe we'll just move up from there. Getting her instruction with a female instructor is a really good idea. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that has faced this type of situation. On the other hand, gee I guess I'll be having to buy another gun Thanks for all the great advice.

My wife bought herself a Ruger SR 22 pistol and loves it. I snuck it out yesterday and it is a fun little pistol to shoot. Economical also. I also hear good things about the M&P 22.

i bought a s&w 43c 22lr revolver for a practice gun. my wife liked it so much, it's her's now. she likes how light it is and not too much recoil. my 642 was too much for her and she didn't like to shoot it. she has a beretta 21a too and that's kind of a touchy gun. she likes the revolver because everything about it is easier.

I would also save the Shield. It is currently a very hard gun to replace. I think both of you will find it to be an excellent carry gun after you have her on the right path with a .22.

Just the opposite here, wife cannot rack the slide on semi autos but shoots lights out with her LCR, a thousand rounds at least and going strong. From 10 yds her groups make a lot of guys at the range move away from her, she can shoot some small groups. She weighs 103 pounds and is 5' tall, she is tough.

I HIGHLY recommend the M&P.22 for you wife to shoot. I use it in steel plate matches and love it. Very accurate...and very little recoil. I never have any problems with mine. I CC the Ruger P95 9mm which I love also. It is a bit chunky....heavy....but not that bad in recoil. If she is shooting at the range and not CC'ing....this would be a good option.

__________________
Lt. Dan, what R U doing here?

If you can find one, or at least let her try one, I highly recommend the S&W model 3913 or 3953. They shoot soft yet are slim and stainless steel slide with aluminum lower, weighs in at 25-28oz, 8 round capacity. Dale

__________________
"Long live the S&W 3rd. Gen.!"

I started my wife with Ruger SR22, I then let her try my Rossi 38 special, bad move. The first round with the hammer cocked was fine but the muzzle flip and trigger pull was too much. I am a Glock person myself and she shoot my 19 very well, so I tried her on the Glock 26 with the pinky extension, again she handles it very well. I switched it to the flush mag and she was unable to keep it on the target. She went back to the extended mag and she was in control again. Like others I went out and bought both the M&P Shield in both the 9mm and 40 S&W. As you guess the muzzle flip on the 9mm was too much for her. I watched her shoot and it really wasn't the muzzle flip, but it was slipping in her hand (smooth grip). I put Talon Rubber Grip on the grip and the problem was solved. Before selling out the Shield try the Talon Rubber Grip, it might solve your problem. Good luck!

Whatever you do hang on to the Shield. My first impression is the issue is more lack of experience/ exposure to shootng. My wife now shoots the Shield and loves it. Of all the 9mm we tried it has the least recoil. (M&P9C, Glock G26, XD Compact, CW9 and CM9) It has noticeably less recoil than each of those which really are not bad at all. She could only handle a couple of mags in the LC9.

Hope you can try some of the others so she can gain both experience and a frame of reference. Also a little grip exercise to strenghten her hands. BTW the M&P22 is a great gun, fun to shoot and close to general operation of a standard weapon.

I would agree with you on all points. You mentioned one thing I had forgot, I bought her a grip and finger excerciser, I used one because I like the 40 caliber and they are snappy in small frame guns. My wife also hated the LC9, yet my daughter loves it after I shorten the trigger pull, put a laser on it and the extended mag. She was with me when I purchased the Shields and wanted one too. She wanted to fire one first, I told her the 9 was her mother's birthday gift, but she could shoot mine. One round and that all she wrote.

Great recommendation.

Well, earlier this year I bought my wife the Ruger SR22 and she loves it. Last week I bought the Shield 9mm for her and she's excited to get it! Sadly, we still have a few days to wait to get it, California mandatory 10 day wait. Can't wait to take her and it to the range!

OBTW, she's shot my Dan Wesson Cbob .45 many times and can handle the recoil...so I'm not worried about her and the muzzle flip that I've been hearing about.

My wife loves the shield . Her favorite was the glock 26 till she shot the shield. She claims The recoil is good n it shows on her group's. She's shot the g26 27 19 30. Xd 40 9 sub. Ruger sr9c. Hk p2000 sk. Walthr ppq. Sign p238. Khar cm9. And list goes on. She loves the shield more then any.

PS . The shield 40 is great shooter too softer than any 40 subcompact I've shot too bad it had the magazine drop problem.

Seems like the best all-round advice I have seen for helping a wife start shooting. But I am surprised that no one mentioned the .380 caliber. It sits well in between the .22LR and the 9mm in energy. It is a serious caliber for close defense and easily shot by a woman. How about the S&W Bodyguard with its built-in laser sight?

Once upon a time...

On the advice of someone, I bought my wife a J-Frame (M36) and she hated it for the trigger pull.

On the advice of someone else, I rented my wife a .22 and she laughed at it for the BB gun that it was.

On the advice of my wife, I finally shut the hell up and let her speak for herself.

After she discussed it with the excellent salesman at the range, she rented several 9mm's including Sig's, Glock's and S&W's, finally settling on the M&P 9C with the grip extension and non+P ammunition.

...The end.

My wife was a complete noob when it came to guns. I tried to push certain pistols her way but kept meeting resistance. I finally shut up and let her pick her own out.

She started with a Walther P22. It was pretty and pink and she could control it well.

She then stepped up to a Glock 19. I had a trigger job done on it to reduce the pull to 3.8 lbs. I also replaced the plastic guide rod with a stainless steel rod in order to reduce muzzle flip. An extended slide stop and mag release and she was ready to go.

Here's the surprise. For a home defense weapon she choose......... a Remington 870 12g. 18" barrel, extended tube, and ghost ring sites. I also replaced the factory stock with an ATI 6 position stock. How she came across the 12g is funny. She saw one at a gun store and asked the salesman about it. He said the 870 was too much gun for her and pushed her towards the 20g.That was all the encouragement she needed to prove him wrong and take the 12.

Her latest gun is a Beretta CX Storm 9mm carbine. She had that one duracoated in a pink digital camo to match her P-22. Whatever makes her happy

I read through this thread and one thing that is missing is that the slide on those semi-auto's are not that hard for females if they approach them right. Most of us with ham hands pull the slide back and fire away.

Have your wife try this at the range when she is trying any non-revolver...

Have her hold the slide with one hand and push the grip forward with the other. Most people have stronger muscle control pushing then pulling. If she can train herself to push the grip and hold on to the slide, there is NO gun out there she can not work...

BTW, my wife carries a S&W 642 38 special and shoots it well when she wears a gel glove. Otherwise she will cut her web between her thumb and index finger. (She has pink laser grips and refuses to go with a cushioned grip).

I'm proud of her.... With the glove, she normally will go through 100 rounds with that 38... tough for a 5'2" girl...

And we did go through a lot of rentals before she decided on the 642.

__________________
Doug;}
RSO from WA State

If you and she likes the M&P guns why not get her the M&P22 it may sound like a wimpy round but I assure you a well placed shot with any cal. will do the job and she will have 12 in the mag..IMO most girls start off at a higher shooting level then guys do for some reason.. She will shoot the hell out of the M&P 22 in no time and if she like shooting she will be able to afford to shoot the 22 as much as she wants.. Believe me if she does that she will be one heck of a good shot and all the time learning to become effective proficient and all in the name of fun.. She will be asking you about a .38 or 9mm.. I have a Colt officers .45 and don't be surprised if she don't want one over a 9mm.. IMO recoil is less snappy slower and to me feels less.. In any case let her make up her mind on what cal she wants after she get confidence and proficient with the M&P22.. Mean time the M&P 22 will make a good choice because she will be able to part the hair on your K-hooners in no time! In any case she will like a gun she likes to shoot and will learn to hate shooting with a gun that she don't like shoot..
Good luck! G

A full size 9m is a better choice to learn with. Try a M&P 9 full size if you have that option. When she is comfortable with than move to a M&P compact, which is an excellent choice for conceal carry. The smaller the gun the harder it is to use. Those small ones have more recoil and are much harder to control. Good luck I hope you find something that works. It is so individual. No way around that!

As a woman I can say that YES .. a Shield 9 is a great choice for your wife. I own both the 9c and the Shield 9. The 9c still has a fat grip for my small hands inspite of the small back strap. The Shield grip is so much better with the slimmer profile and longer grip. As for shooting, the recoil is much the same. The Shield conceals better IWB and considerably better. I don't promote purse carry.

sorry, had to stop reading your post right here. Let's cut the PC nonsense, this is factually incorrect on it's face. Most men I've met can't shoot worth a damn, but I've yet to meet a woman who is even remotely competent with a firearm.

I think you may have a skewed perception on this because the females who seek you out are a very rare breed, but your average female is not a good shot and a horrible student when it comes to learning firearms.