Just a couple of my thoughts.
You will Love the standard Shield. I have the Shield 9mm Ported. Why the PC Ported, just because I just honestly really liked the looks. The muzzle flash is a non issue. In fact you do not even notice it during the day. From what I have read even at night it is a non issue. If I ever get the chance I will probably replace my ported barrel with a standard barrel. The ported barrel allows the inside of the slide to get extreamly dirty.
As far as the night sights. I have had night sights on several of my pistols over the years. In the dark they are still very hard for me to pick up and take time to do so. In a self defense situation the time will probable not be there and if it is you probably should be trying to put distance between you and the subject. If it is in you're home (threat) I prefer a Streamlight Laser flashlight combo. But that is not my carry gun.
I really like the Fiber optic sights for all my pistols. I like them for the range, and my PC Shield came from the factory with them installed.
I have had 4 of the BG380 pistols and have always traded them away thinking I needed something a little bigger. I have even had the Ruger LCP 380. I ended up ordering the new M&P BG380 with the removable green laser that is factory installed. Love it and it is staying around with all my other M&P's. I agree though. Women hate the Bg380 for the most part. It is not a range gun at any means. Men tend to really like it. I like it because it is made better than most of the other 380's out there. It actually feels like a real gun in you're hand. Not like a toy or cheaply made. I really like it because I can throw the safety on throw it in my pocket with nothing else but the gun and no worries. Safety is easily taken off like a 1911 (by thumb).
Just a couple of mixed up thoughts on the whole ported , sight and BG380 thingy.