There is no doubt the full size M&P 9 is softer recoil, the 5" Pro or L would even be better. A steel frame gun would be even less recoil the downside is if you are using for carry then the extra weight usually means it stays at home. The 9mm in full size guns is going to be about the lightest recoil of any auto above the .22s'. Most of the .32 and .380s' are straight blowback design in smaller guns and have a much sharper recoil.