Barb, (if I may use your first name) I didn't mean to stir up bad emotions in anyone with this thread. Maybe more to air out the dirt some. I'm just always in shock how often this type of thing happens. And much like how you describe your situation, one of them doesn't even know the negative that is going on with the other until blammo it's ultimatum time. I don't know why we suffer in silence only to finally blow up like that and it may be telling that someone is able or willing to do that to their other half. The need for attention from a partner can be a touchy issue to talk about I guess. I'm no expert, I just hope your situation has gotten better since that time.