In July of '05, I got up from the couch to go to the head, and that's the last thing I remember until I woke up in the hospital. When the ambulance arrived, I had " no clinical signs of life ". My wife told me the can was full of blood. Turned out I had 5 bleeding ulcers.

After the operation, in the hospital room, I woke up with a morphine " self " administrate button taped inside my left hand. The pain from being opened up from belly button to rib cage was indescribable. The nurses told me I had to press the button myself, or I would be in that room a lot longer than needed, and wouldn't heal. I have COPD, and coughed the stitches out the day after being operated on.

I was in so much pain I couldn't remember to push the button ( nurses weren't allowed to ), Each shift, a nurse would come in periodically to place my thumb on top of the button, and push my thumb down.

There are times when we need as much help from drugs as possible. I wasn't able to get out my bed at home for several weeks, thank God for my wife, and the drugs.

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