I'm morally and religiously disinclined to recommend a G-word, but ikor has the right idea if you're stuck with them.
Just IMHO, the M&P9C or 40C (pretty much the same gun) might be fine choices - they're not as blocky. The .40 is a tad snappy, but the chubby grip should be helpful unless the young lady is very small. (My daughter - about 5'5" and 120# - can handle the 9C just fine.)
It shouldn't be hard to find a sample for her to try in both 9mm and .40S&W....
I'm big enough to use this gal (or my daughter) as a belt buckle
, and a 1911 guy (although I wear a 40C around the house), so the .40 doesn't bother me at all, but it is hotter than the .45. Oddly, the 40FS seems to have slightly more "kick" - probably due to the longer barrel. My EDC is an Officer's sized 1911, but it's all steel, and shoots fairly smoothly. My daughter can shoot those, too.
Just IMHO, the .357 Sig should be avoided. Odd ammo, if nothing else....
There's a very small young lady on the OFCC board right now with the same sort of questions. I think she
has to buy a 45FS. Told her to look into the Compact if she's buying, and then let her Chief buy her the bigger one. That'd give her a nice concealment gun that's essentially identical to the uniform gun. For "qualification", with a little practice, they shoot about the same....
I once was involved in a training thing, and there was a very small young girl there. We tried to find her something small (stainless Chief's Special, actually), and she couldn't hit anything. Switched to a small Colt (can't remember the model, but it's a 4" five-shot revolver) with similar results. The J-frame was improperly lubricated, which didn't help, but the Colt should have been fine. Eventually, we let her try the M10HB that the boys were shooting. She shot that about as well as anybody else. 'Course, that is a little easier to get a small hand around unless it's
really small....
Regards,