My first choice for a steel K-frame is Buffalo Bore's standard pressure 158gr LSWCHP (the +P version is also good, but the standard pressure version gives me faster follow-up shots...YMMV). In general, FBI loads have a good reputation in actual shootings.

A close second choice would be Speer 135gr SB-GDHP +P (yes, it was designed for use in short-barrel revolvers, but I've read it also works well out of full-size guns). It also has a good reputation in actual shootings.

For home defense, though, I might lean more towards the Speer load as it's been shown to be effective but with less likelihood for overpenetration issues than FBI loads. Depending on the construction of your home, you may want to consider the Federal 125gr Nyclad as it also has a good track record in actual shootings but is probably the least likely to overpenetrate.

I don't think you'll find a round that has a good track record in actual shootings that will never have a risk of overpenetration, but it shouldn't be too difficult to find a balance that you're comfortable with.

The most important things to consider, of course, is how well the ammo functions in your gun and how well you can shoot it.