Criminals expecting truth in my statement are in for a surprise. Even though I will hang up my legally obtained and legally concealed S&W Bodyguard 380 pocket pistol during this teachable moment, tougher Americans more comfortable with laws and consequences remain in full force. I accept my experience in firearm litigation and will acting accordingly.

Target me? Well, my 50,000 V tethered twins are ready to take 30 seconds off your existence (fire, drop and run C2 Taser). Since my original, .22 short, defense idea was explained to be lethal force, the electric tranquilizer darts and keychain mace will keep me safe, from criminals, and from America, the fine country I never want to experience banishment from.