It is different for every woman. Some get it bad, others not so much. It all about hormones really. And remember, hormones are incredibly powerful drugs of sorts, manufactured inside our own bodies.

When us guys were young teens, suddenly one day testosterone pretty much took over our lives. Embarrassing things happen to young teen boys when this happens, as we all probably can attest to. Things you have no control over. As the teen years go by, these events pass, not because the testosterone level in your body decreased, but because we adapted and learned how to cope with the levels of it in our bodies.

Now take the female of the species. She doesn't deal with a single hormone, like us males; she has to deal with several of them. First as a teen, like us. But then later on, when the change comes, she has to deal with decreasing levels of the same hormones-multiples again-in her body. And yeah, it can make them downright nutty. Its not fun to be in your shoes. Its not fun to be in her shoes either. No woman can learn how to deal with changing levels of these multiple hormones in a few months, and in fact the amounts of the hormones themselves might take a few years before they are finished changing, and thus going through the whole process. Its not a quick process.

Stevie, try to stay focused on, and remember who you married. You might not see her, but she is in there somewhere. Thats the person you must deal with. Wether she is raging at you, or happy, or somewhere in between, deal with the woman you married. Varying degrees of depression is also very common in women going through menopause. Treat her like the woman you married, even when she is at a bad moment, and raging. Try to make her feel good. Suggest going out. Bring home some flowers every week. Tell her that you love her.
What ever road she chooses, just support her as best you can. Her choice (denial stage right now, not an uncommon stage btw) will likely change as she transcends through this stage of her life. Remember, its not really her, its changing levels of multiple hormones in her body, and against such a foe a mortal man has little chance, if he uses some form of aggression against them. Watch your tongue!
Above all, the advice given about not doing or saying things that will be hard to cure is great advice. Remember who she is inside, the woman you said "I do" for. She will be back, in time.

Your son should understand all of this as well.

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Geoff. Since 1960.