Quote:
Originally Posted by Onomea
BearBio, if I may: As I understand you, you write that being autistic is being like a cat as opposed to a dog. A cat, or someone with autism, does not care what others are doing, or what others think of its behavior. No social instincts. No sympathy or empathy for others. Independence, self interest, and indifference to others, as I understand you.
Yet you write an explanation for us, so that we can better understand you and your fellow autistics.... I think this means that you want non-autistic people to understand you and other autistics.
If so, why?
I ask because most people, with social instincts, who feel they are different, try to explain themselves because they want to be liked, or accepted socially. But if one doesn't care about being liked or accepted, why make the effort to explain one's difference?
And it also seems to me, the way my brain works when I read what you have written, that you want better understanding of not just yourself, but other or all autistic people. This seems a contradiction to me.
I find your post interesting. I think it helps us non autistic people better understand you, which is, from our perspective, something appreciated, and useful to us. I wish you well.
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I would think that outside of institutionalized cases - folks with any sort of disorder find themselves in a social world whether they like it or not - those who are able to recognize that they are somehow not-like the others - may choose to ignore it and move on - or try to deal with it as best they can.
My son is somewhere on the Autism/Asberger spectrum but is overall pretty high function. Much of the original post "fits" with what I can observe of him.
I suppose I might also fall right onto the very end of the very high functioning part of that scale (or perhaps something unrelated with some overlapping parameters). Don't feel a need to "fit-in", have struggled with empathy/sympathy, though improving through years of practice, not entirely comfortable in most social situations, though do pretty well in small workgroups. The hardest part is the wife, who has clinically diagnosed mental illnesses of her own, thinking that if only we were more strict with out son that would help him, or medication would fix him (while I am not opposed to medication, outside of infections it is not generally my go to), and she desperately wants him to be able to fit-in. I don't feel a need to punish him for being the way he is, when it must be a terrible struggle already, especially when he doesn't seem able to connect his actions with the consequences of those actions.
It is frustrating as a parent to see him sometimes appear to be functioning just as you would expect and then to "fall apart" - just as it is to see my cat poop on the sofa after years and years of using the litter box. In both cases, neither the kid nor the cat, are able to communicate the reasons why their behavior which is not socially acceptable has occurred.
As a very logical person one of the hardest things for me when dealing with my son is his lack of ability to explain to me what is going on inside his head because I feel that if he could express what is going on then we could help him find ways to effectively deal with it, and buy that I do not mean to alter who he is just to "fit-in" but to find the best possible way for him to be happy and successful.