We've considered the 20 bore, but to be honest, its a balancing act; while I don't want to be on the other end of such a gun, we can't have the possibility of her needing to go "hands on", which would be worse then the recoil of a 12 gauge.
Its good to hear that the reduced recoil loads are in fact reduced recoil but are not so watered down that the power of the 12 gauge is still there.

Of course, there's a magnum of OC/CS Sabre around as well as she's always got her .22 bobcat.

The 12 gauge is a last ditch option, for both of us, a last resort; and I think I'll keep it loaded with a few rounds of low recoil on the top, #1 buck after.......

again folks- thanks for your help!

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