Anytime I read through threads such as this, I can help but notice a disconnect. Many of the comments are from the perspective of experienced hobbyists or "shooters" who enjoy the gun culture, guns themselves or the sporting aspect of shooting itself and do so regularly, but that's not who this gun is intended for. There is a substantial difference between a hobbyist/shooter who has a passing interest in self-defense but which is not their primary focus, someone simply arming themselves for self-defense and an individual who is a serous dedicated self-defense exponent. I think the majority of members on this forum probably fit in the first category, the OP's wife in the second and very few members in the latter one.

The recommendations on threads such as these remind me of someone simply wanting to learn unarmed self-defense/assault and rape prevention techniques, but go to a traditional martial art school and the instructor tries to turn them into a dedicated martial artist.

There often comes the inevitable need for regular training recommendations, but what many call training is really nothing more than shooting. Someone who is a gun culture/shooting enthusiast isn't usually primarily interested in and focused on training purely for self-defense or perhaps they simply do not understand the difference just like the individual who goes into the martial art school wanting to learn basic unarmed self-defense gets misdirected into becoming a martial artist learning irrelevant skills to their objective.