Army Airborne School 1984:

While instructing the class on proper deployment of the reserve chute a student asked the Black Hat "If the static line doesn't deploy the main chute, how much time do we have to deploy our reserve before we hit the ground?" The Black hat replied..."The rest of your life son."

Same Airborne School, while standing in formation awaiting our mandatory safety brief before being released for a four day pass during the Thanksgiving Day holiday. A very irritated Black Hat Walks up on to the PT platform, puts both hands on his hips, looks over the formation like he wants to kill us all, and says "You stupid ***'s don't do a damn thing we tell you to anyway.....SO IF YOUR GONNA DRINK....DRIVE! IF YOU ARE GONNA SWIM.....SWIM ALONE!