Another old cop story (stop me if you've already heard this):

Cop sees a motorist "incomplete stop" at a stop sigh and pulled him over. Upon telling the motorist why he stopped him, the motorist said, "I slowed down, what's the difference?"

Cop grabs him by the shirt collar and pulls him half out of the car then proceeds to rhythmically thump the guy on his melon with his nightstick.

"Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump..."

This goes on for about a minute and then the cop says, "Okay, do you want me to slow down or stop?"

The Tarawa chicken bones story likely will win this thread. If I may risk a bad joke, "Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner!"