I'm trying to decide on a new home defense pistol, the "nightstand gun." I decided that I'd like to have more capacity than my 686+ offers so I'm looking at high-capacity semi-autos.

Main contenders are the FNX-45 with 15+1 rounds of 45, or the XDM with 19+1 rounds of 9mm.

I've never shot a 45, but it seems like it may be a better HD round than 9mm. I have a lot of experience with 9mm and have about 1,000 rounds I was going to sell to put towards the 45 purchase.