LOL... But I am not going to point any additional fun at the OP.

I do. On duty, a small inexpensive fixed blade hidden on the front of my vest positioned so that it can be drawn quickly reverse grip / edge up as my off hand comes over either toward the grabber or toward the grabbers hand / arm.

Off duty a very dependable and trusted OTF, carried IWB at about 10 o'clock just forward of my off hand.

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BT
EGO VOLUNTAS HAUD OBEDIO