It was a new house and every room was filled with boxes. And it was their first night in it. It was 2:36 a.m. when Rodney's wife awakened him and whispered urgently in his ear, "Someone's downstairs!" Rodney stirred and rolled half way around in bed. He had spent the day moving into his spacious house and was dead to the world.

Who would break in then?

"You're hearing things," he replied. His wife was, if anything, vigilant, but sometimes she fretted over things she shouldn't. Pipes, the house settling. It was always something that could be explained away, but then he heard it. Something was distinctly moving downstairs. He was instantly awake. Whatever had made the noise was now stirring and moving through the boxes. And what was worse, they had not yet unpacked his Dan Wesson .357 Magnum--the same gun he'd used to kill a charging mountain lion months earlier. Now he felt defenseless. Damn, he thought. What kind of crook would break into a house in the middle of the night which still had unpacked boxes in every room?

He slipped out of bed and grabbed the baseball bat he had placed next to the bed. His wife was clutching him as he moved towards the door. "What are you going to do?" she said. The cell phone was downstairs charging and there was no way to call 911.

"You stay here," he said, and broke free from her grasp. He moved out into the hall and towards the stairs. He could barely see, but he stopped, listened and moved on. Nothing. Then, as he got to the top of the stairs, he again heard the sound of movement. Clutching the bat in his left hand, he moved quietly down the steps, his back against the wall. The sound stopped. So did Rodney, but then he quietly proceeded down the steps until he reached the bottom. Boxes were everywhere, and he didn't even have a flashlight. He waited, then continued. Turning, he began to move towards his study. That's when he saw the man standing there in the door of the downstairs bathroom, about two feet from him in darkness. Lashing out, he instinctively struck a savage blow to the man's face....

...and hit the full-length mirror on the door. Screaming in pain, he pulled back his bloodied hand and dropped the bat, cursing every god known to mortal man. At the same time, he saw his panicked cat, streaking across the floor towards and up the stairs at full speed.

The rest of the night was spent with Rodney's wife removing shards of glass from his battered hand. It was months before he could see the humor of the situation, though his wife had to explain the injury to friends, always in painstaking detail. The following day Rodney retrieved the box with his Dan Wesson in it and put it in the drawer of his nightstand.

He never did replace that damn mirror.

True story.

The moral is, if you hear something at night, stay where you are, unless you have children; then collect them as discreetly as possible, moving them to a central area. Then lock the door and, if you have a gun, keep it trained on the door with your finger off the trigger. As my old gun instructor, years ago, used to say, it's better to die yourself than to kill a loved one accidentally. And many people have done that. Just weeks before he gave me that advice, a man nearly shot his son who came home early from college. Fortunately, he'd just read a story by Massad Ayoob about ensconcing one's self behind a door with a gun, and he kept his finger off the trigger. As a result, he didn't shoot his son, but he did give him a stern talking to.

My friend Rodney saved himself once with his Dan Wesson, but he assumed no one would break into his house in a nice part of town on the day he moved in. Bad assumption. It turns out he was right this time...it was the cat. But he could have just as easily been WRONG. But regardless of whether he was right or wrong, going downstairs was the wrong decision at the wrong time. He should have stayed where he was and let the culprit come to him, whether it was a bad guy or the cat. ۞

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Great story with good advice, but the full length mirror part is funny after the fact.

I guess staying put might work for some folks.......

I've cleared other folk's houses and businesses in the dark of night for boogers.

I'm sure I could clear my own dwelling for sure.

.

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"IN GOD WE TRUST"

I hear someone inside my home in the dead of night, so I'm going to start moving kids and wife around in the dark, heading towards some central location...not knowing where the intruder is, or if it's only one intruder?

I can't go along with that course of action.

A "comedy of errors"
Steve W

Did I miss something, who is Earl?

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SWCA #1917

Why I like having a good size dog. My 75# Airedale will investigate any noise out of the norm & alert me accordingly, if I don't also hear it.

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NRA Cert. Inst. IDPA CSO

Reminds me of a couple of incidents years ago as a uniformed cop:

1. Responding to a burglar alarm at a large department store, two of us went in with a manager. Manager went to turn on the lights while we took positions to observe and cover exits. Lights came on, including power to a man-sized Santa Claus twisting and turning while raising a bottle of Coca Cola. I don't think I had more than 10 or 12 lbs pressure on the trigger before I realized what the movement was.

2. Found a door kicked in on a church. Two of us entered, crossing the lobby area toward the sanctuary. Other cop bumped against a 6-foot statue of Jesus, and it started wobbling slowly and making "thump, thump" noises like footsteps in the dark. Yeah, I almost did it again.

The moral I get from this is.... If you are armed with a bat , use the bat to hit with. I can hit a lot harder and with less damage to my hand with a louieville slugger than my balled up fingers...can't you ?
Gary

YOU SHOT SANTA? Then tried to double down on JESUS? TOO FUNNY. A sure way to make the naughty list & forever get your shoes squeezed by other cops.

I’m allergic to cats, and my Labs would distract a burglar by cleverly licking his face til he opened the Refrigerator...so I’m good...

Didn't actually pop a cap either time, but you can come real close real fast.

Was he the guy who was sleeping with Rodney's wife??

It's very funny, of course, but my reaction, not to put a damper on the humor was, "ARE YOU KDDING ME??!!" I moved into the rent house after the fire last Spring and the first things I did were get a gun and a flashlight for the bedroom - from day one!

Growing up we had the burglars dream house. Easy parking close by that would attract no attention any day/any time, able to get in/out without being seen, a sliding glass door in the basement, no alarms or motion detectors (early 70's). 2 dogs, 5 people & nobody heard anything. When caught, he may have been a junkie but he was pretty good hitting >300 homes in a few months. He didn't fear dogs & was prepared to deal with them, poisoned 1 ( he survived)& closed the other in the laundry room. I'd have to assume he was ready to deal with any human occupants as well. He didn't make noise or make any bumps in the night. A NO GUN home, it wouldn't have helped as we ALL slept thru it.

The OP's story reminds me of waking from a sound sleep at 1am to the sound of breaking glass from the downstairs of our house. Long story short - it turned out that a kitchen shelf loaded with crystal stemware failed and fell. I was sure someone was in the house and went room to room then downstairs (after waiting very quietly in bed listening for what seemed like forever) with flashlight and gun in hand. Talk about being amped up!! I cleaned up glass for more than an hour in the very early am...I sure wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep with all the adrenaline flowing.

Earl had to die...

Actually, the real name is Rodney. When I typed the story, I put the name "Earl," but afterwards remembered the real name was Rodney, who's since passed. So I changed most of the names, but guess I missed one.

Rodney met us for dinner shortly after the story happened. He had his hand all bandaged. He didn't have time to even use the bat; he just lashed out with his hand.

After getting home very late, the off duty officer heard a bump in the night! It woke him from a sound sleep! And THERE in the room was a man standing by the closet! He reached inside the headboard and pulled out a Model 10 and took aim and started to squeeze the trigger. Fortunately, he woke the rest of the way up. The man in the room was a man-sized silhouette target he placed there to show the family that he had won the 1st National Championship Police Combat match! The other side of that closet was my then 12 year old wife's bed!

Me moved the bedroom revolver to a dresser drawer, that he had to get out of bed to access!

I let this almost tragedy become my warning, I never sleep in bed with a gun in arms reach! That policy kept all 4 of my kids alive, no mater what time they came home!

My brother was trying to sneak upstairs after a date, and heard dad's nightstand draw rattle and flipped on the lights rather than get shot! A month before, Dad shot at a mouse that had been in bed with him. Blew his furry rear end all over the bedroom chair and drapes. So that memory made my brother real careful!

Ivan

Earl? I thought we were talking about Rodney.

I sleep right through everything.

This is an honest to god true story! I was clearing a building under construction once when I was a young cop. I opened an interior door and there stood a guy with a gun. I was in the process of yelling and squeezing the trigger when I reailzed someone had place a mirror behind the door.

That was a very well-written story.

My wife has sent me looking for things that made noise in the middle of the night. A flashlight and a Ruger Super Redhawk went with me.

A secondary moral to the story:

Keep your phone charger, or one of them, in the bedroom.

Having a gun unpacked would be nice too.

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Oh well, what the hell.

I know it isn't funny but it is good you can look back now and laugh that it was your own reflection.
My experience.
It was around 2:30 a.m. and my doorbell rang. I thought this isn't good. I live in the countryside on a dead end road so someone ringing my doorbell would be highly unlikely. I looked out my front bedroom window and didn't see a car in my driveway or anyone near my front door.

I took my 44 special, flashlight and my phone with me to check what was going on. I didn't approach the door but went to the living room window. I didn't see anybody near the front door so I yelled step back away from the front door to where I can see who it is. No answer and the dogs were not going crazy so I opened the door just a little. I didn't see anyone anywhere outside.

I decided the door bell button had gotten wet from the recent rain and shorted out. I have to say it did get my heart rate up a bit. At least I didn't blast a hole in my front door.

Actually I did have another experience about the same time. My dogs were going crazy. This time I could see some men standing in my yard and trucks by my driveway. I yelled out the window who was it and step back from my door. This time it was the electric company workers and they wanted to know if they could go on my property to replace a blown transformer.

Personally I feel having at least one dog is a big benefit for those bumps in the night.

A spring loaded metal shower curtain rod falling into the bath tub put me on high alert about three in the morning. After spending a few minutes listening I decided to check things out. Seeing the rod in the bath tub was a real relief. I put the Model 19 back in the night stand drawer but I don't think that I slept the rest of the night.

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Mighty 90's,Trying 4 a 100!

My greatest scare was at 3:00 a.m. years ago when my kids were toddlers. I was awoken to the sound of a child's toy making circus music in the living room. I get up, check the kids are in bed then cautiously head to the noise. I found the toy in the middle of the room, no one but me is awake and the dogs are out as well. I crept into the kitchen and checked the garage door, it was left wide open. Best I can figure is that someone entered the house and stepped on the toy setting it off and then hurried out. I checked the house with a baseball bat. I could not even lie down the rest of the night.

Mals

So many things in this story that should be corrected ..
why was the gun packed up ?? He didn't know there was a cat in the house ??? you can't tell that the figure in the mirror holding a bat wasn't himself ??? Phone not charged and by the bed ???

This guy if it is a true story needs to speak to someone with knowledge of protecting ones home .. Because everything he did was opposite of what one should do ..

Get him to sign up for some classes on protecting ones home .. with or without firearm !!

I once almost killed Michael Jordan while sweeping a sporting goods store with an open back door at 3 am . . .

As for what to do when you hear a "bump" at home, everybody's home is different. Some people don't have a "central area" that's removed from any possible point of entry. Some people should stay put, some should jump out the window, and some should find the back door. Some should go investigate after calling authorities. It's like a self defense situation in public. They're all different. The one hard and fast rule I have is that I'm protecting me and from the threat as it arises, and we're removing or protecting ourselves from harm. . .

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Wisdom comes thru fear . . .

When I was a kid (14) my dad worked nights and my mom had gotten called into work this particular night also leaving me home with my 12 year old brother until about midnight when they would both be home. I had a 12 ga single shot that I hunted with but my dads Rrmington 1100 was in his closet and I knew how to load and shoot it pretty good .About 10 o'clock I heard what sounded like someone trying to get in the back door so I slipped a shell in my trusty single barel and eased to the kitchen and sure enough someone was bumping against the back door trying to gain entrance .Their shadow was bent over and my young imagination going wild thought they are trying to pick the lock like on TV .Wht if there are two what if there are three a eho,e street gang .Dads gone I'm the " man" of the house .I slipped into his bedroom got his Remington and put one number 6 ( that's all I had ) into the chamber then I got serious pulled my pant up and started towards that back door .I hit the button on the bottom of the gun that action racked that shell and I stuffed three more into the magazine walking towards that burglar who stopped making noise as soon as I chambered that round . Suddenly the noise started again .I snatched that back door open and fired 4 number 6 birdshot into my mom and dads metal trash can the neighbors dog was trying to get into and had pushed it all the way across the porch into the back screen door .Oh blew holes thru the screen also tore heck out of that trash can the neighbors dog naw he got away ..I sat silently on the couch my little brother telling me how dad was gonna kill me over and over .He's gonnna whip you for touching his shot gun then he's gonna kill you over and over . My dad comes home from work oh yea he was cop had on his uniform nightstick gun the who shebang . What the heck is my shotgun doing out son ? I point towards the back door he goes opens the door .What happened here son .I explain .By now my mom is home so I have to explain again.Im sitting there waiting to get killed as my brother said.My dad says come here son this is truly my fault not yours . I should have told you more about tactics before leaving you here alone ok .I say yes sir .He says ok here is your first lesson do you see this thing on the wall ? Pointing at the light switch .Ok now if you flip it up the light on the porch comes on and down it goes back off .He is talking very slow and deliberate .He says do you see this shiny thing behind the curtain .I said yes sir .He said it is a window.You can turn on the light and look out it after dark and see .Now you turn on the light and look out.I do.He says watch this .He goes out the front door comes onto the back porch and says ok open the door .I do he comes in and says what's the rules of safe gun handling .I go thru the NRA rules .He says ok after school and home work you are going to write those rules 100 times every day for a week plus you are going to pay for a new trash can and screen by doing extra chores .I say yes sir .He said son that could have been me your mom a neighbor needing help rather than a trash can if that happened do you know what would happen to you.I said no. He said some one dressed like me right now would be handcuffing you and taking you to jail.It was a very deliberate conversation but thru the next few weeks dad went thru what to do and not do in such situations with me..he was serious he blamed himself and felt he hadn't done his job knowing that hurt me worse than a whipping .My brother oh after no killing happened he started saying you are so lucky you are so lucky he would have killed me .

My wife’s cat screeched and ran across our bed at 0430. That was a little unusual but I cussed a little and decided to go back to sleep. The next thing I heard were spinning tires and I looked out of the bedroom window as my enclosed motorcycle trailer went by on the back of someone else’s vehicle. I leapt from my bed with my trusty j-frame and ran to my car to begin the pursuit. Awhile later I realized I was driving around in winter in my boxer shorts, shivering with cold, with a pea-shooter size gun and a flashlight. I had the cops on the phone and they advised me officers were at my front door. I drove into the garage, closed the door behind me and ran into the house to put on pants before I let the officers in. In the end I realized two things. Pay attention to the cat. Don’t be an idiot.

Shot Santa and doubled down on Jesus, now folks that's some funny stuff there.