Indifference at Nursing home

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Today i had an appointment to visit a friend at local nursing home. Visitors must make appointment ahead of time. Several days had all of the appointment times filled. Local jail had better visitation scheduling.

Soon friend mentioned needing to go to rest room. I went
office window and relayed her request.

Later she repeated her request "I really need to pee" ...

I went to hallway and started clapping - hoping for SERVICE ...

Staff member RATCHED complained about the noise ...

I complained about lack of service ...

I have complained to Hospital Director, nursing home is operated by local hospital.

I have filed a complaint to the state agency responsible for patient abuse and neglect ...

Being a senior with prostrate conditio9n I know that when somebody says they NEED to GO - the probably do ...

This nursing home has had several reports of clients left sitting in urine soaked attire.

Bekeat - I had my mask, but not my 38 ...
 
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Yeah, most suck. Back many moons ago as part of a psychology class, we had the pleasure of vising an insane asylum. Remember when they actually used to lock them up instead of turning them loose on the streets? The treatment they received was horrific. Hands tied to chairs, sitting in day-old feces, raw scalp where they ripped their hair out. It was a sight I'll never forget. I think a lot of those "caregivers" moved on to rest homes when the asylums closed.
 
Some 20 years ago, Mom was in a "rehab" center while she recovered from surgery. It took the whole family pulling supervisory duty to ensure she wasn't neglected by the staff. I should say "staff." They were low-paid, low-skill, entry level people. I'd say some of them were nearly unemployable elsewhere. Many didn't care one bit. There were a couple of angels in the bunch though; and they were so overworked it was pathetic. Made me realize that growing old in many nursing homes is a bad outcome.
 
These type stories infuriate Ruthie as that is not how she nor her nursing home operates. Her facility consistently gets high ratings from the state, the county and the residents' families.

It is sad but the fact is that not all staff have hearts for this kind of demanding, often difficult, long-term care work and focus on punching the clock. They don't always get weeded out.
 
Think what happens to residents that have been dumped in a nursing home because the family doesn't want to be bothered with them. Never getting visitors. What kind of care do you think they receive?
 
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I had a job in a nursing home years ago.Maybe ours was an exception,all the residents were very well cared for.The beds had to be flawlessly made at all times of the day. If a blanket was rumpled,you heard about it. Some of the female CNAs were really hot,btw..
 
Like anything else, there's good and bad. Problem is, even the good is a pretty crappy situation. Nobody says " I hope we get to a place where they help us wipe our butts." You want to see your loved ones able to do what they used to, so even the best care facility is kind of a bummer. Plus there's the feeling of guilt, rightly or wrongly, that you are unable to take care of your loved ones yourself. The worst? Horror shows. Absolute horror shows. People like Rusty's Ruthie are a godsend to those who have to make the terrible decision to place their loved ones in a facility.
 
These type stories infuriate Ruthie as that is not how she nor her nursing home operates. Her facility consistently gets high ratings from the state, the county and the residents' families.

It is sad but the fact is that not all staff have hearts for this kind of demanding, often difficult, long-term care work and focus on punching the clock. They don't always get weeded out.

I wish they were all angels like your Ruthie. You’ve described how much she cares and how the job affects her. She is indeed a special person; an angel on earth!
 
I'm sorry to read this.

We were lucky. The nursing home where my mom was from January 2018 until her death in December 2020 was very good. We always felt that she was well taken care of and the staff genuinely cared about the residents.

They are also associated with the local hospital.

I'll give a shout out to Wayne Woodlands Manor in Waymart PA.

They are good folks.
 
By the way, OP, what's the name of this place. I may want to send my M-in-L there. She deserves it.:rolleyes:
 
OP, you did the right thing! At one point in my career I responded often to a local nursing home. I was appalled several times at the apparent neglect. As I was a required reporter I would contact the appropriate state agency upon my return to quarters. My wife was a nurse manager and wouldn't tolerate sloppy or neglectful nursing nor would I. The nursing home would call and complain about my reports but they were always very well documented.

Rusty, kudos to Ruthie! We need more like her.
 
Nursing homes are wildly underfunded.

Staff are paid minimum wage and the homes are frequently understaffed. Employees complaining of problems are often fired. There is little to no upward mobility.

These ‘homes’ are profit centered, often owned by large, nonresident corporations with little sense of responsibility for patient care beyond the minimum requirements established by the state. These state standards are minimal, at best and rarely enforced.

If you’re looking for a nursing home, check the state regulations and the enforcement mechanisms in place in the state.
 
I’m 74 and my WORST nightmare is having to go to a nursing home, any nursing home, in my later years.

As an about 16 year old (which makes this a nearly 50 year old story) my Pop had me work in a nursing home we had an interest in. Hated it from the start, but I got on well with one of the residents. Older fellow who had suffered a stroke. Couldn't talk well, had a palsied left arm he kept tightly crooked against his side. His mouth fish-hooked to the left when he tried to speak and it always caused a mess when he ate. I could tell he was a good sized guy by the way his legs splayed out and knees rode high from the wheel chair.

During a room visit I noticed a photo on his dresser, it was of a cop standing in front of his patrol car. Must have been 1950 or so because it had a gumball light on top, huge chrome bumper jutting out front with his foot resting on it. Sam Browne belt over a diagonally buttoned up jacket, 5 point cap cocked to the side and a huge smile on his face. Looking straight into the camera and big enough presence that I couldn't tell you if he had on a holster although I'm sure he did.

With the ignorance of youth I pointed at it and asked "Is that your Father?" He struggled to speak and mumbled something intelligible. A second or third time repeated and finally I understood him saying "that's me".

I've no recollection of the conversation that followed or memory of him passing. To this day I couldn't tell you why that encounter had such impact. And that a fellow long gone would be so remembered.
 
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My wife suffered a stroke several years ago that left her confined to a wheel chair and unable to speak. It also did some brain damage that we were not told about. For the past six years she has been in an assisted living facility. The facility is clean, the food is good and there are activities planned for the patients. The covid crisis caused problems with that but they were worked with.

I have established a process of having my wife's clothes dry cleaned and, before covid, I would take her for rides and out to eat about once a week. There are women there who have more money in their pocket that my wife and I have in our lifetime but those women never have visitors, are never taken out like my wife is and don't have any of the amenities I give to my wife. They are simply warehoused there by some relative. I find that very disturbing.

The facility has a very caring staff who learn a patient's first name and call them by it. My wife has been there six years and almost all of the staff was there when she came there and are still there. We were very fortunate to find this place. I know there are other facilities that do not favorably compare to my wife's new home but knowing she is well cared for (spoiled?) has made a tremendous impact on me as well. It is a shame that all such facilities could not be like this.
 
Several months back a friend's mother had a new bruise on her hand. When he asked her what happened, she didn't recall. When he asked the staff, they all gave him blank looks.

Later, an administrator told him that she thought that someone had put a meal tray down on her hand.

Since he knows what I used to do for a living, he asked me about that. I called BS and suggested that he have a "chat" with the administrator.

Since I filed a lot of elder abuse/neglect reports over the years I knew the routine. I also knew that NH administrators hate when the Dept. of Public Health (licensing authority) comes in to investigate a complaint.

I relayed all of that to my friend. He and his son (contract lawyer) went to see the administrator. His son casually mentioned that maybe they should fill out an abuse/neglect report form.

My friend casually mentioned that his cousin was a homicide detective in the city.

Suddenly, the administrator couldn't do enough for them. They immediately sent his mother to the hospital for xrays and treatment. Assured my friend that they would find out what happened, etc...

My point is that it pays to know the lingo. You don't have to know a lot, just enough to get the administrators off balance.
 
Nursing homes are wildly underfunded.

Staff are paid minimum wage and the homes are frequently understaffed. Employees complaining of problems are often fired. There is little to no upward mobility.

These ‘homes’ are profit centered, often owned by large, nonresident corporations with little sense of responsibility for patient care beyond the minimum requirements established by the state. These state standards are minimal, at best and rarely enforced.

If you’re looking for a nursing home, check the state regulations and the enforcement mechanisms in place in the state.

There are a couple like that near me. They put out highly produced, glitzy ads, their facilities are very attractive looking, and at first glance, they look like a place you'd want to have your loved one live. However, a couple of my late friends had their wives there for memory care and the stories they told would break your heart - the women being left in bed for days without turning, staff stealing to use on other patients the exam gloves, bed pads and diapers that my friends bought for their wives, not feeding the women when they could not cut their food to bite size, not bathing them per schedule, not checking the women's charts, on and on.
My friends concluded those places were established and run to milk Medicare and Medicaid. They took their wives home and hired private nurses to help care for them.
 
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Nursing home owners make a fortune. It doesn't matter if the owners are large corporations or a single person.

They thrive on cheap labor and cutting corners.

I've never been impressed with the doctors who are on staff. Or rather, who are paid handsomely to see patients once a month or so and prescribe medications.

The staff can't send a patient to the hospital without approval of the MD. They often delay that by hours because it costs the facility money to send patients by ambulance to an ED.

The whole system stinks which is why people do everything possible to avoid going there.

Hospital regulators and regulations are a joke. They'll act shocked when a scandal comes to light, but mostly they do nothing.

I was in and out of several nursing homes in my career. I never once saw one that I'd send a loved one to.

When my mother was in two different facilities in her last couple of years. My sister and I were constantly battling with the management over the conditions. We won, but it was exhausting.

My advice is to visit as often as possible. It doesn't have to be long, but try to get there a couple of times a week. It not only cheers up your loved one, but you'll keep the staff on their toes.

Nursing homes are wildly underfunded.

Staff are paid minimum wage and the homes are frequently understaffed. Employees complaining of problems are often fired. There is little to no upward mobility.

These ‘homes’ are profit centered, often owned by large, nonresident corporations with little sense of responsibility for patient care beyond the minimum requirements established by the state. These state standards are minimal, at best and rarely enforced.

If you’re looking for a nursing home, check the state regulations and the enforcement mechanisms in place in the state.
 
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