The Epitome of Frugality

[BC38]

What a loving, lasting tribute.

Thanks Rusty. We figure that some day, when we are gone and the property is sold to someone else, the bench and tree will still be there as a memorial to Matt.

I also had his tattoo done on my left bicep on his birthday. He'd have been so STOKED to know that his "old man" got inked with a copy of his tattoo.
Happy Birthday Matt...

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

There is a fine distinction between being miserly and stingy and frugal and economical, and part of is you don't impose that heavily on others. I have known too many parents who tried to do everything on the cheap, gave their children nothing but lectures on "It doesn't grow on trees", "when I was your age", etc. Then they grow old and gray and sick and...
I am a curbside commando, found a nice set of kitchen chairs I gave to a young couple setting up their home, the other day pedaling through town, a box with extension cords and plugs.

 

[Bekeart]

Leave No Debt

BC38,

I do not agree that leaving an inheritance to children is necessarily good.

Personal experience - Inheritance - just an excuse for a family fight.

My advice for the estate:
Set separate accounts for each individual.
Name specific beneficiary for an investment account.
Record a deed transferring real estate to one individual; keep life estate for yourself.
Do NOT trust a named trustee to transfer the money in an annuity to a named individual.

Bekeart

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Inheritances are a good way of keeping people on the straight and narrow, giving them an incentive to behave, pay attention to parents.
Parens telling kids they will receive nothing-doesn't give them much reason to stick around or be concerned with them.
One of the worst family fights I know of was a young woman who was the beneficiary of a fairly large trust fund established to help her pay college.
Her free spending mother and work shy stepfather were after her constantly to get her to release it. They were finally called in to a meeting with the trustee who read them the Riot Act and as the girl told me, gave her stepfather a real dressing down.
Inheritances must be as specific as possible, to avoid the "he told me/he said I could have" battles.
Yes, the life estate is a protection more people should know about.
Again don't impose your extreme frugality on others. Telling your kids their choices for dinner are oatmeal or cornflakes, making them wear clothes until they are 2 sizes too small, etc.

 

[chief38]

There are a few ways to "skin a cat".

You can sit there and ponder how to save a few cents here, a buck there and a buck there, OR....... you cold spend the same time pondering on how to make more money. Life is too short to not enjoy it.

Although we do not live in the same great Country we once did, there are still many ways to better one's self. I know MANY people who lack higher education, had no formal business training and had not inherited a family business, who are thriving! You'd be surprised just how far a fire in the belly and determination mixed in with a bit of common sense can get you!

 

[Krogen]

Thanks Rusty. We figure that some day, when we are gone and the property is sold to someone else, the bench and tree will still be there as a memorial.

I also had his tattoo done on my left bicep on his birthday. He'd have been so STOKED to know that his "old man" got inked with a copy of his tattoo...

I like the PNW. A true Northwesterner!

 

[BC38]

BC38,

I do not agree that leaving an inheritance to children is necessarily good.

Personal experience - Inheritance - just an excuse for a family fight.

My advice for the estate:
Set separate accounts for each individual.
Name specific beneficiary for an investment account.
Record a deed transferring real estate to one individual; keep life estate for yourself.
Do NOT trust a named trustee to transfer the money in an annuity to a named individual.

Bekeart

That is certainly very good advice on how to avoid a fight over what we leave behind.

The Good Book tells us in Proverbs that "an inheritance claimed too soon will not be blessed in the end." In other words, giving our children a large (financial) inheritance too early in life MAY not end up being a blessing to them in the end. There are certainly plenty of "trust fund babies" out there who are perfect examples of that.

The implication of the Proverb is that if we don't do it wisely, and if we haven't instilled the wisdom of how to properly handle material posessions into our children, then receiving a big inheritance may not end up being the blessing we intended it to be.

While all that is certainly true, at the same time, I still feel that I, as a parent, have at least some obligation to try leave something behind for my children when I am gone (JMO).

Out of love for my children, I feel motivated to be unselfish enough to leave something behind to at least try to give them a "leg up" on having a better life than what I had.

As a parent, I want for my kids to "have it better" than I did. If that isn't part of the equation, then what have I been working and saving and investing and responsibly stewarding my resources FOR all of these years? Just to satisfy my own needs and desires in my old age? That just seems like a very selfishly pathetic motivation to me.

I hope that whatever sacrifices I may have made over the last 50-60 years will be a benefit to my children - and their children - and even their children's children - right on down through the successive generations of my family.

That is the financial part of the legacy I want to leave behind when I am gone. There are other, even more important legacies that I also want to leave to my children and their children.

But a financial inheritance that they can use as a springboard to build on is certainly one of the things I want to leave behind me when I depart this "vale of tears".

As always, this is just my perspective, and YMMV.

 

[BC38]

I like the PNW. A true Northwesterner!

I appreciate that you picked up on that subtle little detail.
Very few people - other than those from the PNW - would even be likely to notice that...

 

[zeke]

All that frugality, all that saving, all that time living poor, and in the end the Nursing Home took all their money.

Pretty sure it still works this way for most us commoners. Another reason to diversify some assets where they are not easily accessed, and enjoy it while ya can.

My father is still alive, and approaching 98 years old. He's in assisted care, and they control his income but keep him comfortable. After his wife retired, he once expressed quilt about using up his kids inheritance to take her to France several times. Told him not to worry about it, she was the only reason he stayed alive so long and deserved it for putting up with him.

Have never expected, or will get any kind of inheritance from either parent. They raised us and deserve to enjoy it while they can.

 

[jbtrucker]

Dad would keep a car to for several years sell it and buy low miles used with cash. He did buy new 1986 and 2000 Ford Crown Victorias

 

[Rustyt1953]

Mom, her parents and sister went through a time of want, food shortages and strict rationing. Each English household member was allotted one egg per week. Meals were what they could create with few or lesser quality ingredients. Clothing was what they found, patched or made. They never owned a car or telly.

She and dad raised us kids on an enlisted man's salary. When dad retired and got a good paying job at Cincinnati Milling Machine Co. they didn't break the habit of being thrifty.

Mom now lives very comfortably with three pensions. It took her a while to relax her grip on her purse strings. The great joy in her life is now being able to share her bounty with her grands and great grands.

 

[BC38]

Mom, her parents and sister went through a time of want, food shortages and strict rationing. Each English household member was allotted one egg per week. Meals were what they could create with few or lesser quality ingredients. Clothing was what they found, patched or made. They never owned a car or telly.

She and dad raised us kids on an enlisted man's salary. When dad retired and got a good paying job at Cincinnati Milling Machine Co. they didn't break the habit of being thrifty.

Mom now lives very comfortably with three pensions. It took her a while to relax her grip on her purse strings. The great joy in her life is now being able to share her bounty with her grands and great grands.

EXACTLY!
It isn't all about us and our comfort. While it is good that we can be comfortable it is also good for us to be able to bless the next generations!
As with most things in this life, the happiest course is one of balance and moderation.
The Good Book says that it is more blessed to be able to GIVE than to RECEIVE!

 

[BC38]

There is a fine distinction between being miserly and stingy and frugal and economical, and part of is you don't impose that heavily on others...

Agreed. The distinction between miserly/stingy and economical/frugal is mainly in regards to motivation and attitude.

Scrooge was miserly/stingy - because his motivation was amassing MORE - just for the sake of HAVING more, even though he didn't enjoy any of it himself, and his pursuit of accumulating more was always at the expense of others around him.

Being economical/frugal isn't about getting more, but rather it is about making wise use of what you have, and it doesn't come at another's expense, nor does it prevent one from being generous to those around you.

At least that's how I see it...

I've always been very frugal, and have a strong aversion to being wasteful. But at the same time I've also tried to be generous and share what I have with those who are less fortunate.

As I see it, the difference between the two mindsets amounts to choosing to grasp for more while holding tightly onto what you already have with a closed fist - versus making wise use of what you have been given, while at the same time giving from an open hand.

 

[Golddollar]

In dealing with land titles I came across a lot of estates. I helped defend a will that left property to a long standing bonafide charity that did a lot of good for at risk children. Apparently the dearly departed's family didn't like not getting a big part of the estate. I learned a good lesson from all of these, legally as to my dad's estate I wasn't entitled to a dime. So I concentrated on making my own way in life. The part of my inheritance I treasure the most are his shirts that I wear and the moderate number of guns I selected.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

I took a course in Property Law taught by a lawyer. Among the salient points:
1. A surviving spouse has dower rights, 1/3 tp 1/2 depending on the jurisidiction.
2. You cannot disinherit minor children.
3. You cannot cheat the tax man.
I've known plenty of people, all they inherited was a pile of debt and a tax lien.
One acquaintance told me when they were looking at putting Dear Old Dad in a nursing home/care facility they found the look back period was 10 years.
The Life Estate is a very powerful legal protection that too many do not understand. One family, the mother died rather young-50. Dear Old Dad felt kind of lonely, met a "honey" about 20 years younger, OK, they let him have his fun. He died 15 years later-she found out all he had was a life estate, the house was in a son's name.
Members have mentioned growing up in military families with modest budgets. A number of people have told me the amount of privacy and autonomy military personnel with dependents have is "greatly exaggerated." Kids complain to teachers that they don't get enough to eat and don't like what they get , wives complain to commanding officers. On another board I used to visit a retired 1SG, Army said that as a platoon sergeant then a 1SG he often didn't know if he was an NCO or a family counselor. He said the Army established a Family Advocacy Office to take the strain off the chain of command, that made things worse.
When it comes to me, as frugal as possible, when it comes to others. Store brand sodas at home, name brands at social events, etc. Generous tipper.

 

[BC38]

In dealing with land titles I came across a lot of estates. I helped defend a will that left property to a long standing bonafide charity that did a lot of good for at risk children. Apparently the dearly departed's family didn't like not getting a big part of the estate. I learned a good lesson from all of these, legally as to my dad's estate I wasn't entitled to a dime. So I concentrated on making my own way in life. The part of my inheritance I treasure the most are his shirts that I wear and the moderate number of guns I selected.

Yeah, my dad passed 18 years ago and left a house, a couple of parcels of other property, a car, a truck, multiple motorcycles, a couple of boats - all paid off - plus well over $375k in the bank - $125k of it that he received as inheritance from his parent's estate. Dad had continued to save and invest money while living off his pension and Social Security. He also left full survivor benefits on both his Social Security AND his pension for his spouse (my stepmother), so she continued collecting the same income after he passed.
Just 12 years later when my stepmother passed there was nothing in the bank, all the vehicles except the car had been sold, and the house needed over $50k in repairs due to neglect before it could even be put on the market, and of course the other land parcels were long gone.
So over a 12 year period my stepmother managed to blow close to a half a million bucks over and above the decent income dad left her with from his pension and Social Security.
All said and done, after selling the house and the one remaining car, I and each of my siblings inherited about $18k each. My stepmother not only managed to blow everything my dad worked his whole life for, but also his share of everything his parents worked their whole lives for.
Some people have no sense how to handle money and shouldn't be trusted with it.
I only wish I had got dad's guns. The stepmother had already given them all away by the time she passed. But one of my uncles had a smooth-bore muzzle loader that dad had designed and scratch built just tinkering around.
When my uncle passed a few years later, my aunt made sure I got that one, and if I only got to pick one, that would be the one I would've picked. It wouldn't be worth $10 to anyone else, but it is priceless to me because dad built every single piece of it - lock, stock, and barrel (literally) - with his own hands.

 

[DUSTYDOGDAN]

Once again I say.. I came here for the Info on S&W 3RD Gens but I joined for the posts like this!

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

The bedbugs were a bonus.

While being maintenance supervisor over half of 1600 slum units, we would have evictions that were full of bedbugs! To slow the epidemic, the courts decided, if they hadn't moved that infested stuf, we could send it straight to the dumb! That way, it didn't set out and "Walk away" into another unit! I saw many people take clearly marked BEDBUG" furniture home, it was better than anything they had, and thee kids had been wanting pets!

Ivan