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Old 09-18-2009, 04:31 PM
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Default Drafting Guys over 60 - (Funny Email)

Couldn't help but post this email I received today.

Drafting Guys over 60----

This is quite funny & obviously written by a Former Serviceman- New Directive for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ***-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ********* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical s-o-b.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way..

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol .... they will have it secured the first night!
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Old 09-18-2009, 05:06 PM
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Thanks for the laugh!

Brian~
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Old 09-18-2009, 10:57 PM
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That was splendid.

Also made some exellent sense. When I was 20 it took an earthquake to get me out of bed before 9:00 AM, now I'm wide awake at 5:30. I'm also a lot better shot than I was at 20 and am a lot less easily distracted. Finally, feed me some Fibre One bars and my farts are capable of clearing a Walmart Super Center.
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Old 09-18-2009, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JD 500 View Post
How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!! You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol .... they will have it secured the first night!
Lewis Grizzard said that armies should be composed of ex-wives and mothers-in-law. Devastating!
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Old 09-19-2009, 08:29 AM
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Very funny!

I've been retired since 2006 -- the AF kicked me out at age 60. I actually have my uniform hanging in my office, just in case they call....!!

I'd go back in a heartbeat.

I remember being TDY somewhere with a pal, a female E-9. We were having a few pops in a hotel bar and a news report came on the TV reporting the combat deaths of a couple of young soldiers overseas. I told her that we old timers ought to be able to replace these kids over there so that they could get out of harm''s way and go home. What the hell, we were in our late 40s then, --she agreed wholeheartedly, and she put her head down and began to weep.

Tim
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Old 09-19-2009, 11:12 AM
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[QUOTE Drafting Guys over 60----

That is exactly what I recommended when I was eighteen in 1964.
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Old 09-19-2009, 06:03 PM
Joni_Lynn Joni_Lynn is offline
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Do you really think it would take me that long to secure the border?
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:20 PM
elcruisr elcruisr is offline
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Do you really think it would take me that long to secure the border?
Well, there ARE two borders to deal with, not just the southern one. We needed to allow you travel time....
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