Say, Jimmy:
1. How many guns do you have ?
Answer: Not as many as I want!
2. How often do you have sex with your wife?
Answer: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. Wednesdays and Saturdays I have sex with your wife while you are out with the boys.
3. How much money do you have ?
Answer: None unless your wife pays me for Wednesdays and Saturdays
4. What is the alarm code for your front door ?
Answer: When you open my door, uninvited, there will be a muzzle flash and a loud noise.
5. Why are you anti-social ?
Answer: I an't, I just don't like YOU !