Add more, ill continue later.

Shot a turkey so big i cut the beard with a chainsaw.

Caught a bass so big the water level in the lake dropped 4 inches!

I carpeted my house with a bear pelt.

Yeah, my wife doesnt care if I go hunting, and if she does, too bad!

Had a guy with a serious face once tell me that he killed a whitetail deer with 19" G2's. Asked him for pictures, he said he didnt have a camera with him.

I may can top that. I killed a whitetail doe once with a S&W model 36 snubbie. A man struck it with his car and broke a hind leg. The deer was jerking around in the highway and it was close to midnight. I pulled my 36 and shot once into the throat. As I started to shoot again in the head, the deer died so a second shot was not needed.

Have you noticed that ALL buck deer that are seen but not killed are "MONSTERS!"?

GF

A guy telling his buddies about his first bear hunt up to some Canadian Province.

"Yeah...the bears are so dangerous up there...if you wound one...the Mounties arrest you and you spend time in jail".

He then goes on egarding his gun...

Yeah..I used a .308 Weatherby Magnum on my bear".

"Do you mean a THREE HUNDRED Weatherby magnum"?

"NO..Mines a Three Oh EIGHT...had them build it special for me".


TRUE STORY

Actually, its a very important piece of information to glean from the discussion. If you've got your BS filters properly adjusted, you know the entire darn conversation is fiction. Its kind of a code.

Last week I started a thread:

Like the Hawgs gone wild, but outhouse involved

In it the old man used to sit on his throne in the outhouse. He had one of those terrible single barrel H&R shotguns he fed slugs. He had a deer run down on the other side of his garden, maybe 75 feet. I have no idea how he trained them to run there (really, I do). Anyway, his preference was fat young bucks. Fork horns he said was best. They didn't run off all their food chasing the pretty girl deer. Just got fat on his corn. Not a problem for him, its why he planted it!

He had good neighbors who brought him stuff, like groceries. Even once in a while, probably monthly, they haul him into town just to give him some different scenery. But one time during one of my social visits he got kind of nervous and asked me for a favor.

Those things sometimes make me real nervous, too. He said there was no body else he could ask to do this for him. I waited the punch line....
He said he needed a couple of blocks of salt from the feed store. Well nearly every fool knows what those are for. Its kind of like the US government every 10 years. Its to take a census. All the eligible young steaks and roasts come by to show their stuff and be counted. From that the current year's buck can be selected. Or shot right where he licks or stands!

The old guy wanted 2 of them. One for this year and another for next. Over at the top of the garden by the apple tree. Talk about overkill. Its kind of like free drinks for ladies at the country bar and grill!

On the OPs topic, its kind of poor taste to point out inconsistencies in the stories as the teller proceeds. Like why would anyone prefer an old tough monster buck when he could pop one more tasty and less chewy?

Most gun shops don't mind the kibitzers. It provides hours of entertainment at low cost. A lot better than daytime TV. Some of them even spend money. Others can be put to useful chores from time to time.

I learned long ago how to bribe folks. Just bring in a dozen donuts and you're a hero (even the overweight clerk likes them.) My best bribe was maybe 10 years ago. I worked for a printing company (closed.) But we still had a couple of big plants full of machinery and printed over runs. The owners son (a not-so-famous gun writer) had ordered up a bunch of man sized targets. Nothing official size, just wanted something to shoot at. So they had an open press and a couple of rolls of heavy paper. Someone made up a plate and it was off to the races! What they ended up with was an oversize pallet, maybe a double, with printed targets maybe 4' high! When we cleaned out the bindery (the place where we would bind or sheet rolls) there it was. The grocery operations manager wanted them thrown in the trash. He knew me well enough that if I'd seen it, I would have vetoed the idea.

But luck was on my side and the maintenance man (otherwise an idiot) got to hustling and managed to rescue about 400# of them. It almost overloaded my poor jeep, but I took them down to the gunshop. In all honesty, I couldn't lift 100# of them comfortably. But the big guy inside rousted out all the lurkers and made them carry in targets. Worse, the owner didn't give them away, he sold them! But he did put the money for each (maybe a quarter each) into a big jar. They bought pizza out of the fund. Everyone gained. Landfill didn't get the targets until after they'd been holed, shooters got a bargain price, and everyone ate well for a couple of months.

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Dick Burg

Gun shops are the last of the Great American bastions of BS. Some of the stuff ya hear just boggles the mind sometimes.

In my experiences the gun shops are 2nd on the BS best places list. The old time barber shop in our little town is hard to beat. One goes in there to pay for the BS and they throw in the hair cut for free! LMAO
spricks

Dick that old boy wanted those salt licks for the same reason there is always a run on those 3" magnum 2oz loads of #4 lead shot turkey shells right around opening day of duck season I guess them boys have an over abundance of turkeys migrating through
I didn't know we had a fall turkey season though

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Forum consigliere

No kidding, I had a bird dog once that herded a covey of quail into a gopher hole. When we got to where he was on point, he would just let one quail at the time out so we could get a good shot. (get someone from S Georgia to explain about gopher holes if you don't know)

That dog was so staunch on point that you couldn't call him off. Several times, we just had to leave when we couldn't find him, but were always able to find him the next day. One year though, we lost him and couldn't ever locate him. Three years later, we finally found his skeleton in a brushy gully, still on point. There about ten yards in front of his skeleton nose were 12 little quail skeletons! Now, that's staunch! I ain't lyin', it is true.

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Georgia On My Mind

yeah .. they are bullet proof and have supernatural powers that makes safeties seize and falling block actions stove pipe.

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it just needs more voltage

Guys, while I agree that gun stores and barber shops are some of the last bastions of BS in this country I think the number one, numero uno bastion of BS is the US Congress.

Pecos

I'm guessin' the old guys who went off to WWI, then came home and survived the depression sometimes made their own rules. Who am I to complain. It was "out in the country", on a back road off another back road. The folks didn't want to advertise their food harvesting methods, but they'd been doing the same thing all along. Ya need food, you shoot it. Those who've lived on and with the land weren't about to wipe out their breeding stock. Just something here and there.

I think there was a strong feeling that most of the game laws were aimed at city folk who came in, wiped out anything that moved, then went back home leaving them to deal with the aftermath.

I'm just wonderin' how the local cajuns deal with gators and things they don't like? Do they import rocks to chuck at them as they're trying to eat the hunting dogs? Are the game wardens down in the bayou brave enough to confront them out in the wilds? Lose many?

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Dick Burg

"These here boolets are so powerful, we're only 'sposed to sell 'em to cops!"

I get a kick out of the military posers who come in telling everyone they are Special Forces, Recon etc and then ask what kind of gun that is in the case. I"ll hand them a 1911 and they will start asking questions about it. I usually say it was the standard pistol for the US during 4 wars. Had a couple of them say Oh yeah I remember we had these but I forgot it has been so long. Um yeah right.

Another "SF trooper" came in a month ago and couldn't adjust the sight on his AR. I asked him if the SF troops were ever taught to adjust the sights, I know as a lowly Marine and later Airman we learned so I assumed a SF trooper would also. He told me a story about how the armorers or some such adjusted the sights for them so they would be right on and no adjustment needed by the troops.

We also hear about guys getting their elks with 1000 yard shots. Have no idea why they always put an S behind elk.

Happily the bozos are not very numerous and most of the shooters and hunters I see on a daily basis are good guys.

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Mike
USMCR 84-87, USAF 87-07

Well, here's a story that's gospel truth. I know it is 'cuz my uncle Jeb told it to me and uncle Jeb was a church go'n man and he'd never tell lie. One deer season he and a few of the family members went hunting and he got separated from the rest of the hunters and frankly was lost. So, he climbed into a tree and used his binoculars to locate the others and when he did he prepared to get out of the tree but quickly spotted a large four point buck right below him. Now uncle Jeb was a strapp'n big ole' boy and he just dropped out of that tree, grabbed that big buck by the horns and bulldogged him so hard he broke his neck. Now that's the TRUTH and don't ya dare call me a liar!!

I would never suspect you were lyin'.
Had the same thing happen to my ol' dog, but there was 15 quail skeletons in front o' him.

He was good.
If the quail were pen raised, he would point them, but dropped his tail to a 45 degree angle.
He would always tap his rear foot a number of times to show how many birds there were. He miscounted one day, sayin' two, but three birds flushed. I got all 3 with my ol' SxS (one double), but he would only fetch two. He never could admit a mistake.

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

I saw a really big buck right before deer season this year. I thought I would share the experience with my fellow forum members, no pictures. I was informed that if you don't have pictures of the buck, that you can add a certain percentage to the rack and overall size of the animal, when describing it.
So I need to tell ya'll that it was about twice as big as I let on.
yorn truly,
gordon

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better have that checked

had a guy tell me he shot a turkey out of a tree at 300 yards with a .38 special. it had just landed when he spooked it, he saw its wings spread so he knew where to shoot.

Wow suprised no stories about one ragged hole groups from 25 yards with pistols and 100 yards plus with rifles. Guess maybe I'm the only one who can do it.

I remember one day a "former Army Special Forces" came in and looked at an AR-15. About the only thing he knew was which end was which. He told us that when he was fighting in the jungles of Vietnam, the only firearms the Special Forces were allowed to carry were old, obsolete firearms. The modern firearms were for the regular troops, which is why he had no experience with either an M-16 or AR-15. After he left, someone (maybe me) said he was so full of "stuff" that his eyes were brown.

Something in this thread smells like the pasture behind my house.

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Wayne
Torn & Frayed

Hey I got my last deer from that pasture.


What are you using for fertilizer?!

thats nothing, i killed a buck last year 4 times that size, we had to take a panoramic photo to get his whole rack in the shot.

Why not post the pics??

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

I'm surprised it's legal to shoot those small ones!

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

Well I had to shoot that small one, as the gunshop I went to wouldn't sell me the powerful boolets that they sell to cops. Just wanted to be "humane," you know.

That's so common with the forum members here that we would be ashamed to even mention it.

I do it all the time! No foolin', and I can take my trusty old 45-70 out of the gun room and show anyone who wants to watch! I just take it to the range, gravel pit, or whatever and BANG. A one hole group.

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Dick Burg

And I believe it too!!!

Jest lookie here...



Hey Dick,
How you gettin' along? Ya never write or anwser yer PMs.
Didn't know if you's still kickin'

Su Amigo,
Dave

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"IN GOD WE TRUST"

I ain't got much pride, but the groups I shoot aren't ragged, so I didn't say anything.

One time I was shootin' through the center hole in a CD at a 100yds with my Ruger MkII Target 678 and went through more than half a Valu-Pak of Federal 36gr HP before a flier went wide and busted the dadblasted thing. Making matters worse that cottenpickin' CD had some of SWMBO's favorite songs on it.

Iffin I'd knowed the stuff Federal shipped to Wally-World was that bad, I wouldn't have used a CD she cared so much for.

Lucky we don't have any dogs, or I would've been sleeping in the doghouse. We got cats, but she's a better shot than I am, so I steered well clear of that subject.

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Age + Treachery = JohnnieB

Not dead yet. Wife says I smell like it once in a while!

We've got 2 gun shows in February, one at Lexington the 19th and then NGD a week later.

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Dick Burg

Somehow I just don't see her sending you off to the cathouse.

Overheard in gun shop...

"Naw, them there tracers won't catch nothin' on fire...I've shot a million of 'em."





************************************************************************



Dick,
If'n I'm back from the territories...And I should be,
I'll catch up with you at one or both them shows.

Dave

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"IN GOD WE TRUST"

I like em' with more meat, err venison

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Sure you did

The best one I ever heard has a guy talking to his friend telling him how powerful the new Gamow air rifles are... His friend was killing coyotes with one at 200 yards.

I had to walk away.

We had one of the Special Farces into the range sat. S.F. hat and tee shirt over camo pants. After 20 min. of random BS he asked for a couple boxes of 40 m/m's for his ccw gun. He couldn't believe it when we told him we didn't have any 40m/m in stock, to hard to sell. (Oh and he didn't recognize or have a clue what a challenge coin was. For those of you who do.)

This is the most entertainment I've had in awhile. You guys are a hoot. BTW number three on the BS list should be gun shows!!!

Enjoyed reading the stories. Amazing things can be "learned' from those experiences.

Hobie.......waiting for the blizzard...

Afraid not little padowan. I can shoot one hole groups with every gun I own at ranges up to a mile. And they ain't ragged either.
Hell one time my neighbor needed some 5/16 washers and didn't have any. So we punched out some round blanks from a couple of junction boxes, lined them up at 15 yards, I got my 337 and voila! 5 perfectly usable washers. The secret here is to use wadcutters-they make the best holes.

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Forum consigliere

I believe ya, Caj, cause I've done it too, but that's doin' it tha easy way.
To be sportin', I throw SIX in tha air together and shoot double action.

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

You can do it your way, but that is just a waste of ammo. Where I come from, we throw them up in the air and shoot 'em with buckshot.

where i come from our bakker speet punches hard enough to do eet.

That's cause you're speetin Virginia bakker. Just south of you, the Tarheels aren't in such a hurry to get rid of their bakker.

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Formerly Model520Fan

I used to work with a guy that this entire thread reminds me of -- you know, the guy that has some absurdly tall tale for EVERY situation.

His always started out "I had this buddy in Nam..." We found out later that, although he had served in the Navy, he spent his entire service career as a cook in Virginia. Of course, he never really said HE had been in Vietnam...

One day we have this new hire join us -- a very attractive female. Of course, we are all a bunch of young single guys, so everybody's trying to impress her. A bunch of us are riding together in an SUV, when this guy tries to turn on the charm and starts up with "I had this buddy in Nam who put a semi-truck transmission in a Corvette. Had 16 forward gears and three reverse. Fastest rod on the planet..." The whole time he's telling the story, she's trying to figure out why 6 other guys are rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically. More than 30 years later I still don't think I've ever met a bigger, uh, inflator of the truth.

Be nice.

I prefer to consider it colorizing. Much like what was done on the old westerns to make them suitable for color TV. Kind of what you'd want to do with a skinny model, you know, flesh them out where needed.

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Dick Burg

Bump!

I work with a guy who told me he has a 300 foot tall oak tree in his backyard, we all kind of laughed at him and one of my buddies said "I bet the acorns on that thing are this big!" he held out his arms to the size of a watermelon, the guy said "yep just about, to be honest with ya, had one bust my windshield last year."

and he wants us to believe him. there are lots more good ones too, that one just stuck out.

-Had a guy tell me the new Bushmaster AR15 he had was just like the one he used in Vietnam......given the fact that the guy was in his '40's and was maybe 5 years old during the last year of Vietnam...........I'll just write that one off to mental illness......

-Had a guy tell me he had 4 "knife kills" and 7 "pistol kills" in Iraq, and he lost count of what he killed with his M16...was a Silver Star awardee,as well as countless other awards, was promoted direct from E-4 to E-6........too bad I found out he washed out of Marine Boot Camp and despite numerous requests by me to see a copy of his DD214 to prove all the medals he got, he never produced the copy.......I know I have about 100 copies of MY DD214 and can produce one on demand, but I don't make any false claims and was never "called" on my stories, because I don't tell any! It seems the ones who brag the most are the ones least able to provide any proof.

-Had a guy who was in the Air Force ask me how old I was, told him 25 (I was at the time) and he said "When I was your age I was runnin' Black Ops in Panama........can't count the terrrorists I wasted" all of this was dead serious, not a joke...he was awarded medals so Top Secret he was "only shown them, and couldn't keep them" and did things he would "still do time for if he told me"...as above, he never produced any documentation.

As a veteran it annoys me when all these people who either never served, served in a non-combat role, or washed out of basic make up all these whoppers and try to sound like the baddest fool to ever walk the earth.......I have MUCH more respect for the guy who was like "I fixed A/C units in Iraq, never fired or even heard a shot fired", they were there, did their job, and came home.......not "I was a supply clerk but they let me defuse IED's and I killed like 100 bad guys"

My father doesn't tell "combat" stories about the time he was on a walking tour of France. His stories are about trading razor blades for wine. The wine wasn't very good. But it didn't matter. My father and his friends had re-wrapped the razor blades in their wax paper, and then put them back in the Blue Blades box.

But, however, and so forth, the stories my father's friends have told me about the things he was involved in . . . . .

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and what his trumpet saith

bump

Bass fishing one day, and my buddy made a cast to an Cyprus tree. The line jerked, and took off, yanking the rod right out of his hand. He swore "That had to be a five pounder...had to be to pull that hard."

I made a cast toward where his rod had gone over hoping to snag it or the line. After a couple of casts I snagged the line and reeled it in, finding his rod on one end, and about an eight inch fish on the other.

Not quite five pounds...

Oh well. I'd have said the same thing if it had happened to me.

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John 3:16 .