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Old 06-21-2011, 11:07 AM
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The commercial thread got me to thinking... The commercial thread got me to thinking... The commercial thread got me to thinking... The commercial thread got me to thinking... The commercial thread got me to thinking...  
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Default The commercial thread got me to thinking...

Some of the shows we enjoyed in the 60s and 70s, here's one of my favorites of all time!

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER ...



Hollywood Squares:

These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A . Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A . George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A . Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A . George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A . Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A . Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A . Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A . Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty A llen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A . Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. A ccording to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A . Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A . Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
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Old 06-21-2011, 11:11 AM
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Ok. I'll say it! This is one of the BEST threads ever!! Yeah, I gave it 5 stars on the first post!! Thanks, I needed that!

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Old 06-21-2011, 01:41 PM
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Funny stuff indeed-the old Johnny Carson shows are a hoot as well. One nigth everytime someone said the word "yesterday", the band would break out in the beatles tune "Yesterday". It was hysterical!!!!!!!!!!! Good stuff-it's a shame that TV isn't that good anymore-kinda like the OLD Warner Brothers catroons vs the newer ones.
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Last edited by CAJUNLAWYER; 06-21-2011 at 01:43 PM.
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Old 06-21-2011, 02:19 PM
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If anyone actualy belives those comments on hollywood squares were actualy spontainious, ya gotta be pretty nieve!
It reminds me of wise butt 7 year old kids I was raised with.
Once I was watching, I think, name that tune, and a small kid said something cute live on stage. A little girl, a competiter, blurted out, you werent suppose to say that! I was!

Last edited by feralmerril; 06-21-2011 at 02:22 PM.
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