Here in Florida we are now into the hurricane season. Any day now, you're
going to turn on the TV and see a weatherperson pointing to some radar
blob out in the Atlantic or the Gulf and making two basic meteorological points:

(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're new
to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for
the possibility that we'll get hit by ``the big one.'' The best way to get
information on this topic is to ask people who were here during Hurricane
Andrew (we're easy to recognize, because we still smell faintly of b.o.
mixed with gasoline). Based on our experiences, we recommend that you
follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least
three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this
sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. If you're
one of those people, you'll want to clip out the following useful
hurricane information and tuck it away in a safe place so that later on, when a
storm is brewing, you will not be able to locate it. We'll start with one of the
most important hurricane preparedness items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane
insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long
as your home meets two basic requirements:

(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in South Florida, or any other area
that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would
prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be
required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the
insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around
for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly
equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company
can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane Andrew, I have had an
estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by
the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that,
in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my
kidneys.

SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows,
all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are
several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:
Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself,
they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself,
they will fall off. Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work
well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them
all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be
December. Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to
use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you
will have to sell your house to pay for them.

``Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane
protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand
hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He
lives in Nebraska.

``Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check
your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture,
visiting relatives, etc.; you should, as a precaution, throw these items
into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should
have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these
objects into deadly missiles. (If you happen to have deadly missiles in
your yard, don't worry, because the hurricane winds will turn THEM into
harmless objects).

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an
evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a
low-lying area, look at your driver's license. If it says ``Florida'' you live in a
low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid
being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be
trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with
two million other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of
supplies. Do not buy them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait
until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into
vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In
addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 23
flashlights. At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the
power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights. Bleach. (No, I don't
know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. But it's
traditional, so GET some!) A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant. A big
knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a
hurricane, but it looks cool.) A large quantity of bananas, to placate the monkeys.
(Ask anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be
irate monkeys.) $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane
passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth. Of
course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it
is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on the Weather Channel on
your television and watching Jim Cantore in rain slickers stand right next to
the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for
everybody to stay away from the ocean. At that point, if you've prepared
all you can, there's frankly nothing left for you to do but pray. Good
luck ! And remember: It's great living in a tropical paradise!

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Steve

You left out the part of the Hurricane Insurance deductible. As all major Insurance companies will no long write HO insurance in Florida you are stuck with the Bob and Big Stan type of Companies.

There is a separate deductible for any damage caused by a Hurricane, It is calculated as the square root of zero, times zero and does not cover rising water which is covered under Flood Insurance issued through FEMA so you might as well call, Hello my name is Peggy!

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Still Running Against the Wind

So true!!! I can't wait to get the hell out of here!!

Firecom you seem to have an affection for "coming to Nebraska". Unfortunately we are experiencing flooding all along the Missouri River basin this year. So you would just be trading Hurricane Insurance for Flood Insurance.

We got us some serious water issues here this summer!

That's pretty funny, thanks.


Cat

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Think for yourself.

I don’t bother watching the weather any more. I live on the ridge at about the 90 foot elevation, so I just watch my yard, when my friends who live on the water start showing up with their trailers/boats/cars/grandchildren/pets and guns----then I panic.

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Ipsis Rebus Dictantitbus

1-food

2-water

3-fuel

4-flash lights or lantern/lamps

5-chainsaw

6-cash (lots of good deals around if you have some and they don't)

7-booze (I still remember the severe bourbon shortage following Katrina)

8-generator (I got one now)

9-ammo (enables you to keep all of the above)

I'm ready.

Can only add a few tings.
2 stroke oil so you don't burn up the chainsaw
Extra chains for the chain saw.
Extension cords for the generator
Don't forget your 5000 btu window AC you can run off the generator-on sale now at Lowe's for $99. Keeps a 10x10 room meat locker cold.

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Forum consigliere

Even if you're not in hurricane country, that's a pretty good idea. When the A/C in the house went out a couple of weeks ago (on Saturday morning, no less), we were able to stay comfortable in a couple of rooms with a small window unit I keep in the garage. And the generator kept a couple of lights, a radio, and a space heater going after the ice storm a few years ago. It's good to be prepared, but if I get any more prepared, my wife won't be able to get her car into the garage.

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Insert short witty words here

Plus a big heavy chain and padlock to chain your generator to a tree or something so it doesn't get"legs" and walk away. At least slows them down a bit.

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Still Running Against the Wind

Heck I don't sweat hurricanes anymore. I survived direct hits from Charlie, Frances and Jean in 2004. How much worse can it get? Bring it on.

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Dick

I'll see your Charlie, Frances and Jean and raise you a Katrina and a Rita

We don't even talk about Betsy, Camile and Andrew anymore!

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Forum consigliere

The only thing practical thing that I can add is ICE; lots of ice. As much dry ice as you can get. It keeps your frozen food from spoiling so fast and makes the bagged ice that you bought last much longer. Wife and I went through 3 hurricanes and stayed at home. Ice is the only reason we survived until they got the power back on. God bless.

Charlie

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SWCA # 2294

Now that's funny Caj. You guys have gotten blasted too, it's not just Florida anymore.

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Dick

we went through the homeowners insurance shuffle until we got "The Hartford" through AARP-If they insure you, they will not cansel you, and the premiums and coverage is good, and the people are nice to deal with. Whoooo! Flapjack.

That's where I lost it




I don't miss my time on the extreme southern NC coast, it seems every storm within 500 miles just had to hit us.

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I miss my 4546 the most.

Humorous but very true.

Having spent now nearly 25 years on the gulf coast every year is the same. Stock up on fuel, prep the generator, lay in supplies and replace all of the water filters. I already have the AC unit for the wall and yes the generator can run the ac and the fridge with power to spare.

I have enough fuel and water to go 3 weeks if I had too. I also prep the camper so I can use it as a "lifeboat" if the house gets trashed.

Having now ridden out several hurricanes I have a healthy respect for them but I don't panic about it.

One thing I did note is that I-10 was absolutely empty about 6 hours prior to the last hurricane that hit houston. If we get a big one and I wimp I know I can make a run for it at the last minute.

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SWCA 1646

Raider,

Yeah, I forgot about ICE.

$1 per bag ice which, after a hurricane, goes to $15.00 per bag!

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Steve

Normally, I when I write "LOL", it means I think something is funny. In this case, I actually DID laugh out loud and got funny looks from my wife. Well played, sir!

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Proud anachronism

Peter,

I went through Eloise, Opal, and Ivan here in Florida, but I was living in Houston in '83 when Alicia hit.

You know what?

The evacuation program there was just as ***** as it is here!

Lines of cars miles long going nowhere. LOL!

Ya reckon they'll ever get that figured out?

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Steve

I've got the little AC. I won't spend weeks lying in a sweaty bed again. It will cool my bedroom. Junior can get his own but I suspect he'll be sleeping onthe floor in front of mine if it happens again. Here's something else to think about. When Ivan hit and mostly destroyed the Florida panhandle the effects of that storm didn't hurt us very much. But, what we did run into was what seemed like several million Floridians cars and other vehicles bottlenecking in Hattiesbur, Ms., which is several hundred miles away. I spent hours on traffic, medical emergencies, babies being born on the side of the highway, hungry thirsty people, etc. As far as I know nobody died here but the strain on local services was hard and somehow we got through it. Have plenty of supplies when you evacuate and extra fuel cans, even if you have to tie them to the roof of your car.

No they won't figure it out. The problem is folks that don't need to evacuate bail and run and that is what clogs everything.

I thinh the key is to know your neighbors and have a good plan with supplies and to be preparted.

I am sure if we get whopped again, I will see more flaws in my plan but we made it through the last one with only 10 days on the generator and I still had plenty of supplies and reserves. I also have my boss and friend who lives within walking distance so we have goos cross plans on supplies and equipment. He has most of what I have duplicated at his place. We also have 3 other co-workers in the general area so between all of us we can work together on things.

The one flaw I have in my plan is the rogue tornado. One of those blasts your house then all of your plans go out the window pretty quick. That is why I have the fall back plans on my co-workers. We live far enough apart that it is unlikely that all would get hit by the same Tornado.

I hope I don't have to apply my plans again, but the odds say yes I will and therefore I plan for it.

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SWCA 1646

Peter,

Yup!

You will get hit again one day, just like I will get hit again one day.

Might as well be ready.

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Steve

I don't even live in Florida, but I am "prepping" as they say over on the survivalist forum. Mainly, I try to keep some gasoline on hand. Three years ago, we suffered some spot shortages in Georgia for several weeks when refinery damage on the Gulf Coast shut down a couple of distribution points. There was even talk of canceling the GA-ALA football game because of fears that all those Alabamians would get stranded in Athens and couldn't get home. (Did you know that all the Walmarts between Atlanta and Athens sell out of hair spray as soon as the Ala cheerleaders hit town?)

I went to the Sam's Club in MaconGA today and filled a 55 gallon drum with non-ethanol gasoline for $3.39 per gallon. I added stabilizer and pumped it into another 55 gallon drum under a shelter in sort of an inaccessible place on the farm, and put a lock on it. It has been my experience that there are gas gremlins that will steal your gas unless you are very careful.

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Georgia On My Mind

Dave What's-his-name, never fails to crack me up. His other stories are pretty good too. Especially the one where he gets a proctology exam!

$200 worth of gas? They will do a home invasion for that. I put out a hot water heater for trash about a year ago. Stripped it of all fittings,copper etc first. Wasn't by the curb 10 minutes and it was gone. Joe

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Wisdom chases me; I'm faster

Hurricanes are great, 5 football championships, 3 college world series titles all from a private school with an enrollement of less than 12,000. Go Canes.

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NRA Certified Instructor

Short notice evacuation by road is a non-trivial engineering problem with no evident solution.
The number of vehicles trying to leave in the time frame usually open, that is three days, exceeds the capacity of the available paths. Even if high flow rates were achieved, say 55-60 mph average at 30 foot intervals, there is not sufficient capacity to empty Miami or Huston. This sort of speed and interval is used in simulations to show that even the best case projection will not work. Actual flow experience from Huston was much worse.

Consider that if the 400+ school busses in New Orleans had been loaded and sent on their way it would have only moved about 18,000 people.

This is compounded by the fact that some of the roads head in directions toward the approaching Hurricane and have to be considered unavailable.

If the “Authorities” could persuade lots of people to start leaving 7 days or so in advance of a potential problem the problem might be eased.
In practice what happens is that in a really difficult spot (the FL Keys for example) after each successive false alarm fewer people leave early.

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Ipsis Rebus Dictantitbus

Poor Florida. You miss Katrina. Feel blessed. We went down to help my wife's sister put her house back together on the Gulf Coast after katrina. Still breaks my heart to think about it. The Mississippi Gulf Coast will NEVER be the same, again! It looked like the aftermath of a nuclear explosion.

What is the shelf life of treated gas? 2 years? I believe treated diesel will last 6 years.

I burn off my treated gas at the end of the ice season. Basically I ask it to last a year and then burn it out in the truck. I renew it once a year and it seems fine.

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SWCA 1646