Pushing 30: I'm getting nervous

[Ghost Magnum]

I turn 30 years old in less than a year. I'm getting nervous for some reason. My 20s has been one disappoint after another. Almost everything I set out to do has been on the most part a failure.

20-24 drop out of college and trying to navigate the Obama economy. Tried and failed to get into law enforcement. Originally I went to college for Marshal service or FBI.
25-27 end up working at Walmart for a short time. Then end up working as security officer.
Security was awesome for a time. But the large companies that run them are a joke. Tried my luck again in law enforcement. But my parents needed my help. So I couldn't afford the training. Some of my friends became police officers in this time.

28 to now. I was going to try to join the national guard. But I recently got diagnosed with a auto immune disorder. Nothing bad. But it disqualified me. And I been dealing with depression for a year now. On top of that my body is starting to reject food I used to eat a lot of. I met many girls. Some in person and some on the internet. Few I like. One I met on Facebook went no where. I seen her in person at Walmart. I actually glad that went no where.
One girl I truly interested in has walls up that could put Jericho to shame.

There has been many blessings. Everyone has been following my progress on my torino. I had some rough luck this month with my s10. It survived that accident I had in it. But my transmission just went out. Go figure...
I been going to church. Me and my pastor has been getting close. I got a huge pay raise at work. So I guess some things are working out for me.

[lihpster]

I'm 53. When I was in my 20's I was too caught up in what others thought. Clothes, car, job, friends, etc. This led me to many poor decisions. Luckily, most of the effects were short lived. Not all of them. When I was in my early thirties, I discovered what was truly important to me. But I wouldn't have without the mistakes I made in my 20's. Up to 20 you're doing school learning. At 20 is when street learning just begins. It's your trial decade. For the most part, guys in their 20's are still trying to get a handle on the testosterone monkey that rules their lives. If it won't sleep with you, fight it. Hard to make solid life choices when you're under the influence of a powerful mind altering chemical. Learn from your twenties and you can make your thirties something to be proud of. Remember, every day you have a choice, be who you were, or be who you want to be. So far, from the interactions I've had with you, you seem to be pointed in the right direction. Experience will tell you your course corrections.

Edit: I wanted to add, if you are experiencing depression, you should see a doctor. It could be nothing is physically wrong but it could be a lack of serotonin, a "happy" chemical in your brain. There are drugs which increase your uptake of serotonin. It's hard to make solid life choices if you're missing a powerful mind altering chemical you're supposed to have. It's not always a case of "get over it" or "snap out of it". If you need help, get it. If you learn one thing in your 20's, learn this: accepting needed help doesn't make you a bad person or less of one.

[Ghost Magnum]

Originally Posted by lihpster.

Edit: I wanted to add, if you are experiencing depression, you should see a doctor. It could be nothing is physically wrong but it could be a lack of serotonin, a "happy" chemical in your brain. There are drugs which increase your uptake of serotonin. It's hard to make solid life choices if you're missing a powerful mind altering chemical you're supposed to have. It's not always a case of "get over it" or "snap out of it". If you need help, get it. If you learn one thing in your 20's, learn this: accepting needed help doesn't make you a bad person or less of one.

Thank you. My pastor has been helping me. But I told him I'm going to get professional help. I'm worried that the state will take away my carry permit. Or it will make it harder to get training.
But I'm nowhere near as bad as I was last year.
As this point. I'm not chasing.my career. I just want to build my Torino and take a long road trip in it.

Edit; my grandmother is bipolar. The possibility that I have that scares me. But I changed my diet around. Trying to get back into shape among other things. I'm doing better. I found my truck has a been leaking fumes into the cab. That could be causing some of it.

[merl67]

Ghost Magnum
You are experiencing what is called life pure, and simple. We all have some idea of how it is supposed to go it rarely happens this way. You are also hamstringed by a thing called social media which projects other peoples lives in a cleaned up perfect looking world. I am 54 I wanted to be a archeologist/paleontologist growing up... try telling that to your factory working father in the mid 1970's. I wound up getting married right out of high school after only 3 months of dating to a girl whom I am still married. I worked 30 years running printing presses before going to school to get a maintenance degree i now work in that field. I recently have taught myself to do blacksmithing/bladesmithing. YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME WORK ON YOUR DREAMS WHATEVER THEY ARE...I THINK WHEN i RETIRE I AM GOING HUNTING DINOSAUR BONES...

[LVSteve]

Originally Posted by Ghost Magnum

I turn 30 years old in less than a year. I'm getting nervous for some reason. My 20s has been one disappoint after another. Almost everything I set out to do has been on the most part a failure.

.......

Please don't do like so many have that I know and get desperate for marriage. I had a buddy who went crazy at 30 because he wasn't married or at least engaged. I got roped in as wingman for his forays into over 30s clubs and meets. Talk about cringeworthy. He couldn't have looked more on the hunt had he arrived in a safari suit complete with zebra striped Land Rover and a 300 H&H over his shoulder. As a result, the girls avoided him in droves, turning the screw some more.

As for being a success, sometimes you just have to take a close look at your circumstances and decide if you did your best or did you mess up. If the former, then the wind was against you, if the latter, learn from it.

[lihpster]

Definitely keep talking with your pastor. Valuable resources shouldn't be ignored. Pastors get to hear lots of stories. they also get to see the outcomes. So they have alot of basis for comparison. They can tell you if you're on the right path or not. And we all need someone to tell our secrets to.

[Ghost Magnum]

Originally Posted by LVSteve

Please don't do like so many have that I know and get desperate for marriage. I had a buddy who went crazy at 30 because he wasn't married or at least engaged. I got roped in as wingman for his forays into over 30s clubs and meets. Talk about cringeworthy. He couldn't have looked more on the hunt had he arrived in a safari suit complete with zebra striped Land Rover complete with 300 H&H over his shoulder. As a result, the girls avoided him in droves, turning the screw some more.

As for being a success, sometimes you just have to take a close look at your circumstances and decide if you did your best or did you mess up. If the former, then the wind was against you, if the latter, learn from it.

Actually I'm not. But I have been accused of that. Between my homeschool upbringing and the women in my family. I got turned off of women until recently. I have little experience with women because of that My friends try to give me advice. But the truth is I really don't want it. I tried my luck with some. But there is only one that I actually want anything to do with. Everyone on this whole planet knows I have a thing for her. She knows, her friends know. Her friends overlap with my friends.
Most guys would call her damaged goods. But I see something in her. She has walls up all the time. If I get personal with her or bring up her childhood. She shuts down. She knows I have little to no experience with women. We never really dated. But talked and texted. I hurt her real bad a while ago and she unfriended me on Facebook. But she didn't block me. Let's just say that I basically unholstered my 357 magnum and shot myself in the foot just about every time I texted, commented on a Facebook post and had contact with her friends/family.
She seemed happy to see me in person a while ago at the gas station. I apologize for being a idiot. I'm trying to get back on her good side. But I'm trying just to leave her alone. She is amazing though.

[Ghost Magnum]

Originally Posted by Imissedagain

Do some volunteer work at a VA hospital or chronically ill children's ward at a hospital and it might give you prospective on just how lucky you might be.
Getting professional help is advised as well.
I mean that in all sincerity.

Over and out.

I am very lucky. I am very aware of that.

[LoboGunLeather]

30? You will get over that pretty easily.

70? Not so easy. Arthritis, cataracts, lots of new and interesting experiences. My rememberer ain't working too good now, but my fergitter is getting better every day.

Hang in there, young man! Be thankful for life's blessings.

[old bear]

Ghost Magnum, wishing that the next 30+ years are filled with success and happiness for you and yours.

[Rob613]

Like security work but don’t like the way big companies are run? I hear ya...

Start your own security company (I did as a side gig), get the certifications you need in your state to certify others. You can make good money just teaching cert classes.

Security is booming, I’ll probably be able to quit my 9-5 in the next year. Start with just you, advertise on social media. I now have 5 guys that work for me and am turning down jobs, looking to expand if people would actually want to work.

Starting a LLC is cheap and easy.

The world owes you nothing, your future is what you make it. You’ll feel better being your own boss too.

[steelslaver]

Your just getting started. You got plenty of time. Look at what has happened in your life so far as just part of your education in learning to live. You should have picked up something useful in all of it. If your not in debt your ahead of most 30 year olds. Most of the people who have got married at your age have either got divorced of are heading towards one. The right woman is more important than a woman or the other way around. You should have most of the real dumb kid stuff out of you by now. I don't care if you can vote or what ever, most don't really start to mature till over 30. Heck you could have spend $80,000 on a degree that doesn't help you and found out that you really hate the job you have invested the time and money in. I look back at my life and I had done a lot of things by 30, had kids etc, but in all reality I was only just getting started. I was living in a trailer working construction off and on etc. The real life adventure had not even started. Want to do something neat? Boats that seine salmon in SE Alaska are looking for crewmen. Probably a low fish/price prediction and the old hands don't see a lot off money in it this year. But you could spend 3 months on a boat, get fed everyday, have a place to sleep and see some wonderful country. Point is there is a million things you could do. If you are smart RESPONSIBLE, which includes reliable, honest, punctual etc. You will eventually rise to the top of what you chose to do if you apply yourself. Worked for me

[tlawler]

Pfffft....thirty? You’re just a kid still. I’ll add my advice to the list too. If you want your economic situation to improve markedly, learn a skilled trade. When I joined the military at 17, I didn’t plan on working in the air conditioning trade, but that’s where it led me. Now more than 40 years in, and it’s paying for two houses, four kids either in college or getting ready to go, and supports my S&W P&R fetish. With the economy turning, the trades are the most under staffed sector of the workforce.

[Rolex28]

I'll be 80 this year. Still have a zest for life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I never have bad days because I know very well I could be worse off than I already am. I cannot run a 100 yard dash anymore but what the heck my golf ball barely goes that far anyway. As long as there are westerns on TV, ice cream parlors, Waffle House, good scotch and my bride at my side I am good to go.

[tlawler]

Originally Posted by Rolex28

I'll be 80 this year. Still have a zest for life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I never have bad days because I know very well I could be worse off than I already am. I cannot run a 100 yard dash anymore but what the heck my golf ball barely goes that far anyway. As long as there are westerns on TV, ice cream parlors, Waffle House, good scotch and my bride at my side I am good to go.

I gave a like on your post, but I wanted to comment on it and tell you I loved it. Especially the part I emphasized, there are no truer words to live by.

And I thank you for your service, Marine!

[Krogen]

Originally Posted by Rolex28

I'll be 80 this year. Still have a zest for life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I never have bad days because I know very well I could be worse off than I already am. I cannot run a 100 yard dash anymore but what the heck my golf ball barely goes that far anyway. As long as there are westerns on TV, ice cream parlors, Waffle House, good scotch and my bride at my side I am good to go.

You used Waffle House and good scotch in the same sentence! I like your priorities!!

[Muss Muggins]

I got boots that are 30. You got years ahead of you . . .

[HOUSTON RICK]

Oh to be 30 again! Everything is ahead. You only fail when you decide to quit.

[us2]

I suggest you give yourself a 30th birthday present.
The Book of Proverbs has 30 chapters. Read one chapter each day of the month... takes about 10 mins. Do that every month until you turn 30. It is filled with lots of practical advice. Try reading different versions/translations. That's easy to do online. If you will make that commitment I wager your 30th will be much brighter than your 29th.
Bless you... and you can PM me if you want to talk.

[bruce5781]

30 ? I've got underwear that old. That reminds me, probably time to refresh the duct tape on them.

Sent from my SM-S506DL using Tapatalk

[pantannojack]

Stay far away from Big Pharma. Drugs are for the sick. You ain't sick. If you were sick, you would be rioting for justice. You might have trouble with comparing your insides with other people's outsides. Serotonin can be raised by little victories, volunteer work or like 12 step groups, whether you are alcoholic or co dependent not, public disclosure and group support may do wonders. I have found the more I get to know people, the better I like my dogs. I once saw some u tube vids by a guy called "the Red Pill Coach". I don't know a red from a blue pill, I never saw any Matrix films, nor do I see any holly wood at all. Try reading something like the Horatio Hornblower series by C S Forester. It looks like you are more normal than you think in a difficult time.

[Golddollar]

Originally Posted by LoboGunLeather

70? Not so easy. Arthritis, cataracts, lots of new and interesting experiences. My rememberer ain't working too good now, but my fergitter is getting better every day.

I'm right behind you.

[Golddollar]

Originally Posted by bruce5781

30 ? I've got underwear that old. That reminds me, probably time to refresh the duct tape on them.

Sent from my SM-S506DL using Tapatalk

A little cringe worthy but hysterical!

[Golddollar]

I still have my ROTC oxford shoes from 1970. Now I live near the plant where they were made.

Back when I was a little older than you, I joined the local Jaycees chapter. You have the opportunity to meet up and coming younger people who can become your friends for life. The purpose of the organization is to allow younger people to learn leadership and responsibility. I know of at least two couples who met in my Jaycees chapter, one of my friends from the Jaycees became my stockbroker and another friend from back then is now the Mayor of Frederick, MD.

And become a regular visitor to the Lounge. You will get a lot of life coaching, see a lot of beautiful guns and get to laugh at a lot of snap-bang humor.

[Rpg]

Get to your MD immediately.

Your depression isn’t something to be treated with diet, vitamin supplements, good deeds, good thoughts or prayer. It’s easily treated and managed medically. You don’t get a gold star for toughness.

Don’t sell yourself short. I’ve followed your Torino work and confess that I often haven’t a clue trying to follow what you’re doing because I’m a hopeless mechanic. You are obviously very knowledgeable in that area while I’m not.

I suspect you have many strengths. Your depression is clouding your very perception of your worth. Get treated.

Get to your MD!

[Chuck24]

Turning 68, I’m not worried, I’m surprised

[sheepdawg]

30 is a funny birthday, you gain at least 25 points in IQ that very day.

During my 20s I was a dopehead, drunk painter, it's part of the profession. Nothing like being on a 28 ft. extension ladder on a nice Memphis August afternoon. When I hit 30 I got a job in a mostly air conditioned paint manufacter's warehouse and stores. I picked up plenty of five gallon buckets of block filler and threw bags of patching plaster around but it was out of the sun. 36 years later I retired from that company as their Memphis DM.

30 was the best year I ever had, with the women folk too. Had money, decent ride, still young, still could murder a driver, still could read greens.

[Jon651]

Originally Posted by Ghost Magnum

I turn 30 years old in less than a year. I'm getting nervous for some reason. My 20s has been one disappoint after another. Almost everything I set out to do has been on the most part a failure.

20-24 drop out of college and trying to navigate the Obama economy. Tried and failed to get into law enforcement. Originally I went to college for Marshal service or FBI.
25-27 end up working at Walmart for a short time. Then end up working as security officer.
Security was awesome for a time. But the large companies that run them are a joke. Tried my luck again in law enforcement. But my parents needed my help. So I couldn't afford the training. Some of my friends became police officers in this time.

28 to now. I was going to try to join the national guard. But I recently got diagnosed with a auto immune disorder. Nothing bad. But it disqualified me. And I been dealing with depression for a year now. On top of that my body is starting to reject food I used to eat a lot of. I met many girls. Some in person and some on the internet. Few I like. One I met on Facebook went no where. I seen her in person at Walmart. I actually glad that went no where.
One girl I truly interested in has walls up that could put Jericho to shame.

There has been many blessings. Everyone has been following my progress on my torino. I had some rough luck this month with my s10. It survived that accident I had in it. But my transmission just went out. Go figure...
I been going to church. Me and my pastor has been getting close. I got a huge pay raise at work. So I guess some things are working out for me.

Heck, I'm not "pushing 30", I'm dragging it! And the rope gets longer and longer every year...

When I was in high school, all I ever wanted and expected to be was a marine engineer. Nothing else even came into my mind except for possibly being in the Navy as a way of getting that done and getting some experience. I literally fell into the fire department while I was in college realizing how dumb and unorganized of a kid I was. Thirty years later having retired from fire-rescue and EMS I realized that I wouldn't have wanted to do anything else with my life as I was living it.

I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere...

[S42N8]

Lots of good advice here. My two cents: If you need professional help with depression, get it. It takes strength to know when you need help - and you know your life better than the rest of us. After that, life is a journey, not a destination. Live the journey to its full measure.

[ladder13]

You have a long way to go GM. Best wishes to you.

[ladder13]

Originally Posted by bruce5781

30 ? I've got underwear that old. That reminds me, probably time to refresh the duct tape on them.

Sent from my SM-S506DL using Tapatalk

Takes a real man to admit that.

[Ghost Magnum]

Thanks everyone! I'm doing fine. I'm looking for professional help now. It's just been a hard year. That's one reason I been focusing on my car. I'm not chasing women or a career right now. I'm going to take a long road trip in my torino when it's done. It's got a long way to go though.

I don't mind being a security officer. But wow these large companies are insane. There is times I think they and the client company are gas lighting us. Its can be funny at times.

My pastor has been a huge help. I don't really know what I would be like now without him. I got baptized last month.

[JJEH]

GM, I could bore you with my life's shortcomings but I won't. Because you HAVE to focus on the positive. If life didn't go the way it did I probably wouldn't have met my wife and wouldn't be here in the U.S. now.

I have worked with the USMS and I have a very good friend there. This is seriously the only federal LE job I would want. They play by big boy rules and that's what I like.

If that's something you like then don't give up. Train, study, keep applying, don't stop, don't settle, don't ever be satisfied with where you are in life because there's always more.

Don't focus on girls, party, etc. Focus on you and work on getting where you want to be.

Good luck, keep your head up and don't fall for any kind of drugs, even if they promise temporarily relief to your temporarily problems!

YouTube

[rwsmith]

I can relate. Health probs have plagued me since I was young. And with that comes depression. But, the alternative really sucks. Be glad you have a life and make the most out of it. Good luck to you.

[Ugly Hombre]

GM- main thing is never give up you are tougher and stronger than you think you are.

And you live in Texas where I live people are doing flips and flops just to get there! No joke lol.

Never give up- if you think you need to get some MD advice find a good one and get some direction.

Beware of any and all RX drugs I almost got croaked by two of them one for a heart condition and one to TX a infection..

Dig deep into the side effects before you take any RX drugs and don't do street drugs ever nothing grows there. Discuss with your MD.

Exercise find a type of exercise you love martial arts, yoga, running fencing, weight lifting what ever do it for you and no one else. Don't be a fanatic do it healthy and for you.

Observe what has happened to other people be happy for what you have young healthy, free and strong live in a free country in a free state.

Learn a trade where you are somewhat independent. Learn about real estate and get some. Control your surroundings- you control your life.

Make 10,00 friends and no enemies. Stay away from people who make life hard and no fun.

Stay positive and help others when you can- that energy will come back to you.

You are not allowed to yap about being old until you are 1/2 century and made the 50 year mark.

Even then you are a baby san to many so don't go there. lol

Remember- never give up---

More power to you and good luck in all you do.

[quikdraw67]

Get a rescue pet. Dog or cat, your preference.

It will give you a responsibility, and the pet will pay you back in spades with unconditional love.

It will help with your depression too.

JMHO YMMV.

[KKECK5]

Don't worry , you'll be fine. I'm working on my way to my 3rd 30......

[ejr10mm]

I'm 35. It's just a number. Don't get hung up on it. Don't get hung up on that girl either just work on you and getting yourself to where you want to be. Get a dog. Great companions, great excersize, and well chick's dig them.

[gregintenn]

Success is always built on a mountain of failures.


The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is that successful people pick themselves up and try again. Unsuccessful people quit and look for someone to blame.


It sounds to me like you've got one heck of a start. Hang in there, friend!

[WardenRoss]

Interesting..

I remember the morning that I woke up on my 30th birthday. I became very depressed. I realized that the last time I took a minute to ponder about my status in life, was on my 21st birthday.

Where had the nine years gone? I worked long hours at a very physical job. I was tired and had the impression that life had passed me by. In my mind, 30 was old.

I flipped open my bible and the page landed on this...

And Joseph was thirty years old when he stood before Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from the presence of Pharaoh, and went throughout all the land of Egypt. Genesis 41:46


I flipped it again and it landed on this...

David was thirty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned forty years. II Samuel 5:4


So Joseph and David both began their leadership at thirty. How in the world, or why would the Lord specifically direct me to these references?

I saw it as an omen and became very excited.

And yes, things started happening. I ended up in law enforcement and promoted fast. God's hand was on me. There is absolutely no other explanation for my success and station in life.

So, keep the faith. The Lord may have something special in store for your life too.


,

[Targets Guy]

I'm pulling 30 and have been for over 40 years. Don't worry; let it happen. You are in for quite a ride.

[sipowicz]

Regarding failing to get into law enforcement that may be a blessing in today’s environment. Cops are retiring early and outright quitting all around the country due to the anti police sentiment in liberal cities. But on the other hand, if you really want to still do it, it might be easier to get in now since they’re begging for new recruits in so many departments.

[meaneyedcatz]

I’ll keep this short and sweet.
Your value does not hinge around a job, education, family, conquests or what others think of you.

You were created by a God who loves you and He is the standard of measure. And He knows your value, priceless!

I’ve been in your shoes and still struggle with it from time to time.

[Old cop]

I’m almost 75 and fully retired now but there were plenty of bumps along the way. I was fortunate enough to marry a good woman over 50 years ago but there are no guarantees. As to my 30 year LEO career I sort of fell into that. When I got out of the Navy I bounced from one dead end job to another and was considering the Navy’s reenlistment offer when I saw an ad in the paper. Our city PD was hiring Viet Nam veterans @ $6800/yr, more money than I’d ever earned in my meager 21 years. Figured what did I have to lose and the rest is history. My guess is you’ll find your path much the same way but keep working w/your pastor for guidance, & good luck. It will work out.

[MRB1]

Don't get down or nervous about being 30. I was there about 46 years ago, and the 30 mark was where everything seems to begin to come together in my life. It took awhile, and I sure had a lot of past mistakes to learn from, but it does get better IF you maintain a POSITIVE attitude. Hang in there.

[ancient-one]

If you are depressed see a good Doctor. My Dad was so depressed and unsettled that he imagined that people were after him. We forcefully took him to a recommended Doctor and with treatments he soon became a happy and nice person to be around. He stayed that way until Cancer took his life.
You are evidently not that bad, just need some help. Please get it. It will give you a chance to have a direction in life and a happy and rewarding future.

[TheHobbyist]

I do not have answers, friend. I will keep you in my daily prayer list and trust that things work out and they will. G-d is with you, always. If I get dinged for this, I don't care...brother.

[625-7]

Originally Posted by Muss Muggins

I got boots that are 30. You got years ahead of you . . .

Muss I Have boots over 40

[Ghost Magnum]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate y'alls prayers. I am blessed. And I do know that I do have it good. I just found out that some LE friends of mine just left law enforcement. That didn't take long. In some ways I guess I dodge a bullet.

[Ματθιας]

Dude, you're 30 years old, enjoy your youth while you still can. Have fun! I'm in my 40s, time flies. Trust me when I tell you this.