Bigfoot sighting just outside your door!

absolutevil said:
Or he might just be on his way for his morning constitutional. He'll bring it back when he's done.
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If he doesn't have a roll of Charmin in one of his hands, you probably don't want the paper back...


It would be nice if newspapers were printed on softer paper, though. That way they'd have some use.:D


I'd probably leave a mug of cafe-au-lait and a chunk of French bread on the front stoop for him to munch on, since it's Sunday.
 
I understand a certain political party that now virtually controls California is about to introduce a bill banning any attempt to kill a Bigfoot. It also makes it mandatory to offer any of them that are caught an opportunity to register to vote...:eek:

John
 
rchance said:
All this talk about Bigfoot so...What gun would you use if you walked out to get the Sunday paper and caught Bigfoot taking it from the box?:D P.S this is hypothetically speaking of coarse so forget about being serious.
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If I walked outside and saw bigfoot stealing my newspaper the last thing I would be looking for would be a gun-I'd be heading for that scotch bottle :D
 
Good Lord, men!
I don't get the Sunday paper, but the daily one is delivered by Bigfoot. A real, honest and true Sasquatch. He has been somewhat of a pain in the past, what with runnin' through my backyard and makin 'all kinda noise & mayhem at night, but has improved his attitude scince he got steady employment. I tip him well and sometimes he comes in for a cupajoe. I come near the end of his route, then he goes around and collects bottles and cans for the redemption place. He actually does pretty well for a 7 1/2 ft. tall smelly, hairy, scary beast. He is in a position to invest all his liquid assests scince no one is collecting rent or charging for bushes, nuts, and berries out in the woods. I am pleased with his progress, and am not going to shoot him. I believe he plans to purchase a bicycle. He feels it would improve the ease of his little enterprise, and allow him to get his route done earlier so he can pick up more bottles and cans. He is definitely a thinkin' Bigfoot.
ps. I'm teaching him English, and he seems to be pickin' it up a little at a time. Mostly just grunts and clicks now, but it is coming along.
 
GatorFarmer said:
Do NOT use the .470 on gray aliens though. For them, you have to use either a special AP load in an FN 5.7 or else the hard to get black tip 5.56mm AP. Otherwise you have to get in close and thunk them with a .45 auto - or other weapon - that fires a subsonic projectile. It's a defect of their armor that it doesn't activate well against a subsonic threat since they designed it to counter their own energy weapons and hypersonic projectiles. Old slabsides will drop them every time though. ...
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I did not know that.
 
quneur said:
Are you sure rchance isn't your neighbor? Perhaps he saw you without his glasses on.
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It's been about 15 years since there's been enough hair on THIS head to even worry about being confused for BF, even if he was lacking his glasses, sad to say... although I am probably close to being tall enough, if viewed from the right angle, say prone, in the bushes, after a long night drinking...;)
 
I once saw a "big foot". He was a customer who had size 22 shoes. he had to get all his shoes custom made. They looked like clown feet.

At least the real big foot can go bare foot.
 
After he read a page or two, I'm sure he'd put it back. Our paper isn't worth reading. But....I would invite him in for a cup of coffee and maybe some breakfast. Then I would bribe him into staying awhile with the promise of a delicious supper. In the meantime I would show him where the lawnmower is and give him a quick lesson on how to use it. Then there's the repairs that need to be done to the roof. And I'd like to shorten the privacy fence around the back yard. Also tear up the wooden deck and pour a cement slab. And before he wanders back off into the woods, I need some furniture rearranged. And then there's.... (and you want to shoot him?)
 
Big Foot outside my Front Door?

I'd open the door and tell him to come in and visit with my wife, his sister.

Rule 303
 
Rule 303 said:
Big Foot outside my Front Door?

I'd open the door and tell him to come in and visit with my wife, his sister.

Rule 303
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I bet you wouldn't let your wife read your response! Ha, ha!
 
hiram2005 said:
I just went out to the garage to grab a diet coke. Bad storms going on here, clearing up and the moon is starting to show. Want to report no sign of BF, vampires, mothman, werewolves, booger men or flying monkeys.

None of those type monsters to report in my neck of the woods. Does it count if I had a Democrat show up at my front door with a nominating petition. I hope Todd Dingleberry didn't mind me signing for him.

NOW, if there had been flying monkeys, I would have retreated to my bedroom, retrieved my 44 levergun and let loose a few! I am terrified of flying monkeys.
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Bragging a bit are we?? Flying, moving targets with a levergun?? Do you really shoot that well or are the monkeys just slow??
 
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Yell

Tell my neighbor's wife to get her own paper-and stop going commando outside
 
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