I've been shaking my head non-stop in wonder over this situation for more than a week...you never know what life has in store for you!

More than 20 years ago, my wife and I were friends with another couple. We got along well with them, socialized frequently and even went on vacation with them. The woman (let's call her Lucy) and I got along particularly well; our personalities meshed perfectly, and we genuinely liked each other. If we had been single, I have no doubt we would have been more than friends back then, and I always had the impression she felt the same way.

Lucy and her husband did not have a very good marriage, and she left him in 1995, then married the first guy she dated after her divorce. My wife and I lost touch with both Lucy and her ex-husband, and I haven't seen her in 15 years. (She stayed in the area; he moved out of state and re-married too.)

My own marriage ended six years ago, and I've been dating and enjoying my new single life. I live in a relatively small town, one of those places where everybody knows everybody, and a couple of months ago, I heard through the grapevine that Lucy and her second husband had recently divorced.

About seven weeks ago, I searched for Lucy on Facebook, and saw that she has a page there. I sent her a friendly message, nothing serious, just saying hello, letting her know I too was now divorced, and inviting her to call me if she would like to talk with an old friend sometime.

She called me eight days ago, and we spent hours on the phone catching up on families (she's a grandmother now), careers, our lives in general, etc. We talked with each other every day this past week, and it was so easy and relaxed, almost as if we had never lost touch.

After a couple of days, I screwed up my courage during one of our phone conversations, and asked her if she was free Saturday night. She said she was, and that she would love to see me.

Last night we went out to dinner, and it was truly wonderful seeing her. She has changed very little, and just as we did years ago, we got along very well. We laughed, and joked, and had a very lighthearted and fun evening together. That old spark is still there, and we will definitely see each other again, soon.

I have no idea what's going to come of this, but at the very least, I've re-connected with an old and dear friend, someone whom I never, ever expected to see again...and that's a very nice thing!

If somebody had told me ten days ago that today, Lucy and I would be making plans for a second date, I would never have believed it. Life really does surprise us sometimes...

I thing it is a good thing you took the step to get out and find your friend. Take your time enjoy the companionship.

Strange things happen.I too have just got a divorce.Started dating my ex-wife.We've been divorced 17 years and seems like the old spark is still there too.She is the mother of my kids and they are very happy we're seeing each other again.Maybe something will come of this too.

Good for you.

If it is meant to be, then I hope that the two of you shall grow old together, Beemerguy. The best to you and 'Lucy.'

Recently I got in touch with my ex father in law. My ex brother in law was let out of a mental insitution, and murdered someone. (I never knew him on the outside, he was incarcinated when I met my ex 34 years ago.)
The father fought to keep him in but the system thought they knew better. I read of it and wrote my ex FIL my condoleances. He is up beat. His wife died a number of years ago. He is a old world war two vet. He is about 86 years old? Anyway he had a old sweetheart and they were going to marry on leave. Her folks forbid it and sent her away to her grandmother. Almost 70 years ago! After his wife died he somehow got back in touch, found out she was widowed too. They got together and he is extreamly happy!
This is a example of how sometimes something good can come out of a bad situation!

Long-time friendships can often blossom into something special. Here's wishing you both the best that life can bring.

John

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- Cogito, ergo armatus sum -

Hell Yes! Good for you and I sincerely wish you the best.

I've got 18 years in a similar situation. I graduated high school in the same class as my wife, 1969. We were distant friends in school and then lost touch. I made my living as a fruit peddler and this good looking lady came in the stand to get some strawberries in summer of 1993. I was just about to sign the papers on a nasty divorce and was open for business and looking for love.

I recognized her, or so I thought. "Hi Pam" I said enthusiastically. She says "I'm not Pam, I'm Vicki!" "Of course you are" says I and after a whirlwind courtship, we've been together ever since.

Pam was a year ahead of us in school and was very hot so it wasn't an insult and she did resemble Vicki back in the day. In today's market Vicki's a 9 and Pam's maybe a 6. Course they all call me the silver fox.

Best move of my life. Easy to make small talk when we both know where all the bodies are buried in this semi small town we've both lived in all our lives.

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God spelled backwards is dog.

That is very cool.
How does she feel about Hoppes #9 and plinking in general, or haven't you gotten that far yet?

Beemerguy53,

Best of luck to you and Lucy

A negative thought from "Jimmy the Troll": "Lucy" has been married and divorced twice! WHY??
I would shuffle very carefully and slowly in this relationship.

Good luck to you... :-)

Thanks, John! :-)

Great story! Good luck to you.

I got a chuckle out of your comment that it's easy to make small talk when you know where all the bodies are buried. Lucy comes from a very large extended family, and you can't swing a dead cat in my town without hitting one of her siblings or cousins. Much of our conversation was about her family and mine -- she remembers my sons as very little boys, and they are all grown up now -- and it made for a very easy and relaxed first date.

Funny you should mention this...

Lucy's late dad was a WWII vet, and she grew up around firearms, but never learned to shoot. She remembered that I have a slight interest in guns -- :-) -- and she mentioned last night that she would love to go to the range sometime...and of course, being the accommodating soul that I am, I offered to teach her! When I can drive and lift things again (I'm still recovering from back surgery) we will spend a day at my rifle club.

Jimmy, you're not being negative, just realistic, and only expressing what I think some of the other guys reading this thread have probably thought themselves. And to tell you the truth, the same doubts have occurred to me too!

As I've been dating since my divorce, I've learned to be very leery of women around my age (I'm 58) who have either never been married at all, or who have been married and divorced several times. Either one of those factors is a bad sign in my book, indicative of somebody who can't handle relationships.

In Lucy's case, her first husband was her high school sweetheart. They married very young (she was 17, he was 18) and grew apart as they grew up. He was a drinker, a bit abusive verbally (even in front of other people) and they weren't really happy. I don't think anybody in our circle of friends was surprised when she left him.

As I mentioned, her second husband was the first guy she dated after her divorce. I haven't pressed her for details of just why they broke up, but she has referred to him as her "rebound" relationship after her first marriage, and I suspect at least part of the reason she married him was that she had never been single, and was afraid of being on her own.

And don't worry...I will definitely be taking it slow and easy here. I truly enjoy being footloose and fancy-free, and I am not going to commit to any relationship if I am not sure what I'm getting into.

Thanks for your candor and your sensible words of caution... :-)

Run for your life!

Nah, I don't have to do that...yet! We were just friends before, we are just friends now, and I don't know that anything more will come of it.

I do have to say though, that we were really compatible when we knew each other years ago, and I am very comfortable around her. She's a great lady, and I'm really happy we are back in touch.

But I will keep my track shoes handy! :-)

Idealy, man marrys woman, neither married before, and they live happly ever after. In this day it`s far different than 70 years ago. My dad had 15 half and full brothers and sisters. Only one divorice, and that brother remarried his wife. Today, odd`s are impossible that could happen again. I and many cousins have had divorice`s.
In my case I got married the first time at 41 to a woman 29 years old. It was each of our first marrage. The daughter came 3 years earlier, and she was mad at me. That one only lasted about 4 years and while I thought I was happy, she evidently wasnt.
I was a batchlor many years on each side of that short marrage, but had many girl friends. Most were fine women that wanted to get married but I didnt want to handle their kids that they all had still at home.
Frankly, I aint proud of my single days. Let me put it watered down this way: I tired or got bored easily after haveing a undisclosed number of different girlfriends. When you get older you change that adolesent outlook. However, you also get gunshy. I am now happly married again. Theresa wouldnt have liked me 30, 40 years ago. She is 17 years younger but I couldnt picture me with a woman my age. Her kids and my daughter were all out of the house and married when we met. Her ex died about two weeks ago and belive it or not, I will be traveling and takeing her to the memorial service two weeks from now. I think it`s been a dozzen or 15 years since she seen or even talked to him on the phone. She raised 3 kids without a dime of child support from him. He was a nere do well, and decided it would be easier to be a "cowboy" in a remote area of idaho rather than get a job and pay the support money that would have been impossible to catch up on. She has never hated him but as he got involved with other women, she wouldnt continue to live with him. I think it adversely affected two of her kids lives big time. The other, a daughter, turned out the opposite and today is a big time executive in a huge company.
I think that had many divoriced couples met and married when they were 30 instead of 19 they would have got along fine. On the other hand, they probley wouldnt have gave each other a secound look!
Good luck, Beemer guy!

Best of luck...and I wish someone would tell Egypt and England that this is really what facebook is for.

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Thirty characters. Exactly...

Thanks for your thoughtful post. Yes, relationships are different these days, and I have only a handful of friends who don't have an "ex" in their backgrounds. I think part of the reason for that is that divorce is easier now, another reason I think is that women have more choices available in their lives.

I understand what you mean about being single now. I enjoy dating, and there are a lot of eligible ladies out there if you make the effort to circulate. I laughingly tell people that the only difference in my life between now and when I was 18 is that now I have more money and my own home. :-)

I have a couple of buddies in the same circumstance as myself -- one divorced, one widowed -- and one of them describes us as "catches", not because we are handsome or anything, but because we are single, self-supporting, and have no small children at home. For a lot of women, that means a lot.

Armyphotog told me to run for my life, and I was thinking, I have done exactly that on a couple of occasions. On my second date with one lady several months ago, I mentioned that I would like to go to Germany next winter, and spend a little time in the Alps then. She immediately told me she'd like to go with me. I gently suggested that perhaps we should get to know each other a little bit better before we plan a trip together in 7 months. (I haven't been out with her since.)

Thanks again for your post, and congratulations on your successful marriage. :-)

LOL! I am amazed at the people who use social networking sites for non-social purposes. (I am also amazed at the carelessness of some people who use Facebook. When you put something like "stuck at work for the next 3 hours" or "leaving for a week at the beach tomorrow", you are letting the whole world know your house is unoccupied...how dumb can you get?)

Used correctly, Facebook is a real treasure. We organized my 40th high school reunion last spring entirely through Facebook, and I've re-made the acquaintance of a number of folks I'd lost touch with, including Lucy. Very cool! :-)

Don't you just love it when you are able to disprove old sayings, like: "you'll never know what you were missing".

Good luck mister!
Gordon

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better have that checked

Beemerguy:

The only thing better than a good story is a good story with a happy ending. Here's hoping things work out for you and your Lucy.

Best of luck,

Dave

Wow!

I'll bet I can get my wife to start reading this forum.

I wish you a very long and happy life with Lucy. This kind of messages makes my happy.

Beemerguy, while I can agree with taking it as it comes, and both eyes open, I also agree with what other's have said...it's difficult to find someone past a certain age that doesn't have at least one ex in the past, and the fact that they didn't make it doesn't really have much to do with whether or not the two of you will. (Unless she's prone to having husbands die in their sleep...often!)

My current wife and I each have two prior divorces, we both married for the wrong reasons, both of us too young on the first one, and our second ones went sour due to alcohol on my wife's part, and drugs and thuggery on her husbands. We met at work, both of us in the middle of our divorces, and had no intention of dating, or heaven help us, getting remarried. I read somewhere that in order to find your true love, to stop looking and start doing things that you love and eventually that's where you'll find them. Well, not claiming that either of us loved our job, but I noticed that she sat inside and read on breaks, alone, and at lunch as well, and being the struggling writer that I am, that was a good way to break the ice, talking about books. Finding out that we both read a lot of the same authors was a good thing. I overheard her talking to another female co-worker that she just wanted to go out and have a nice quiet dinner for once, so I took that and ran with it, caught up with her outside that afternoon and told her that if she was ever down my way, to stop in and I'd treat her to a dinner out.

October will be our 2nd wedding anniversary. We tolerate each other's idiot children, never fight, and our two bad marriages taught us what is really important in life, I have to say. So hang in there, and good luck to the both of you!

Guys, I've read every word of every post on here, and I want to thank you all for your input. Your similar stories and comments are very encouraging.

Lucy and I talk on the phone every day, and I saw her again for a couple of hours after she got off work today. This coming Saturday we will be going to a concert in Wilmington, Delaware, which is about an hour away; the show will be nice, and the drive will give us more time to talk.

I mentioned earlier that she is from a very large family. Many years ago, when we knew each other socially, I also knew a number of her siblings from family gatherings and holiday parties, etc., as well as her children. She told me this evening that she has mentioned me to several of her sisters, and she told me they remember me as a nice guy, and are happy we've reconnected. She also told both of her daughters that we are seeing each other; they remember me too, and said to say hello.

I think what really impresses me about this whole thing is how easy it is to talk with her; we always did get along well, and we always liked each other, and now that we are both single, and there is no barrier to getting to know each other better, I think that's probably where we're headed. :-)

I'll keep you posted...thanks again for your kind words. And son-of-a-gun, let your wife know that, yes indeedy, there is more than boring old gun stuff on the Forum! :-)

Beemerguy, I hope you are buying Lotto tickets - you are one lucky dude.

Out
West

Be sure to use protection...............Hearing protection, of course! What were you thinking.

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"You're messin' up my Zen"

All good things come to those who wait.
Enjoy spending time with your new/old friend.

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Always Stay Strong!

I've been thinking the same thing all week! :-)

Good luck with your new old friend. It sounds like you have things under control.

One big difference between 18 and now...larger span of ages most of us would consider dating or becoming involve with.

...

Man, is that ever true! I have been out with women four years older than myself, and ten years younger. (My new-old friend Lucy, by the way, is about 3 years and four months younger than I am.)

Things have been going very well for us. We spent all day and evening together Thursday, as well as much of the day Friday. On Saturday night we will be going to a concert. She has talked with a number of her siblings (many of whom I knew years ago when Lucy and I were just friends, and married to others) and they are excited and happy for her.

This could get interesting...LOL! :-)

Is Lucy a pseudonym? If it is her real name you can say "Loosie Am Home!"

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Fidelis Ad Mortem

Well folks, things have been going very well with Lucy and me. We have been spending a lot of time together, and our friendship immediately picked up right where it left off almost two decades ago. Some things haven't changed at all: she is still very easy to talk to, we still have a lot of common interests, and we still get along quite well. What has changed, of course, is that neither of us is married now, and our children are grown, and without those considerations, we've been free to talk honestly about how we really feel about each other, and we've been free to take our relationship in a direction it couldn't go years ago.

We held onto each other during the earthquake twelve days ago, and rode out Hurricane Irene together last weekend. We did some shopping together Saturday, we're going to dinner Sunday with some friends of hers, and we're planning some nice weekend getaways this coming fall.

I am enjoying this new relationship with my old friend more than I would have thought possible, and I am still in awe over how all this came to be!

:-)

Life can be miraculous in ways that surprise.

Enjoy your time and thank you for a fine and uplifting openness.

John

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I Love This Site

it sounds like this is a relationship that was meant to be. I hope it works out

Wishing you both all the best!

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God spelled backwards is dog.

I don't have a reunion story. Been married once and so far so good. Been together 26 years.

What was weird was that the girl I was dating right before I met my wife stood me up for a Friday date. No call, nothing, she just didn't show up and I didn't know what had happened until I heard she was engaged to the guy she stood me up for.

But, the next day after the no-show, I met the woman who would become my wife. The universe was telling me I needed to be a free man that day.

Things do happen for a reason. Just go with it.

This is what she looked like when we met. She doesn't look much different, now.

Like you, I've always believed that things happen for a reason, and now I know that's true. Thanks very much for sharing your own story with us, and congratulations on your long and happy marriage. :-)

Add to that, he's teaching her to to shoot???....