My wife, daughter, and myself live in an apartment complex built in 2008 and we like it here. It is quiet, rent is not bad, living expenses are reasonable, etc. the higher ups who own many properties in many states have decided to implement a new program called Poo Prints. The idea is to make sure dog owners pick up after our pets when they go poo. To make sure we as dog owners keep the place poo free we have to take our dog to the office at a set time and have the dog DNA checked and a picture taken by a company rep. Now if poo is found on the property it will be sent in for a Poo Prints DNA match. If it matches your dog it is a one time warning and a $500 fine each time after. I do not like this at all. To me this is going a bit far in advising us to clean up after our dogs. I wonder if the program will work or be a flop? I clean up after our dog and do not need a scare tactic to do so. What a world. LOL

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Livin’ Life From The Blindside

I saw a feature about this on the news, and I support it. I hate the way that many owners allow dogs to behave , and some are pretty aggressive, especially if the owner ignores the leash law. And their mess is also aggravating.

I know that you mutt lovers love your pets, but so many are irresponsible with them that I get pretty fed up with dogs. I've had a gun out a few times when I thought that I was about to have to shoot a person. But the closest that I've come to shooting anything in a non-sporting context was when a big Rottweiler (sp?) on an apartment balcony almost came over the rail at me as I walked past below. I was as afraid as I've been, even as much as when a big S -Class Mercedes almost T-boned me as the driver ran a red light. That dog was destined to feel the effects of a Federal 158 grain Hydra-Shok .357 bullet as soon as its feet touched ground if it left that balcony!

Honestly, I wish that a great many dogs (and their owners) would have a close encounter of the leopard kind.

That said, I do sort of like to see a good setter work a field for birds.

So, you're one of a very small minority of grown men who hate or fear dogs. Rather than wishing them killed by a leopard, maybe you could lighten up a bit. The vast majority are very sweet creatures.

Now that's a job I wouldn't want: poo detective!

At first, I thought it sounded a bit extreme, but if pet owners don't voluntarily cooperate, how else can the property management enforce the rules? One thing it will do is eliminate (no pun intended) any false accusations against your dog.

In 30+ years I have had 3 female german shepherds as part of my family...trained and socialized...all three were sweet hearts unless provoked
by someone bothering a family member or by an uncivilized animal (dog).

We have a NEGLIGENT neighbor that has a very large aggressive (St. Bernard Cross) that has chased my wife into the house and attempted to take me on while out in the yard working in my flower beds which he uses as his toilet. The judicious COVERT application of .22 bird shot has put an end to this. The dog now hides when he sees us in the yard.
These neighbors have now added a second beagle cross to their family who uses our asphalt drive as his toilet (nothing like the smell of dog poo in the garage). The dog is brainless. I have popped him several times with a pellet rifle and he has almost done complete summersaults when .22 birdshot has been applied to his hind quarters. He would keep coming back. I finally bought a small portable corral fence charger and string a random wire pattern 12" high on the property. After a few weeks both dogs seem to acquire an aversion to straying onto my property. Although this spring it appears they will need to relearn this lesson.

Texas Star....I would like to borrow your leopard when you are done with him.

I own 2 dogs. Always clean up after them but occasionally one, or both, spring a surprise 2nd poo and usually im not prepared for it so i just let it be but that happens once a year or so.

Anyway, im all for clean grass and what not but im not getting my dog DNA'd for poop.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

So who's gonna pay for all this foolishness? Me, what I'd do is borrow a black lab-get him DNA'ed and then let Angus poop his little guts out with impunity
I'm sorry-but as much as I hate somebody letting his dog poop on my lawn-this is absolutely hysterical.

What do do for a living with that PhD in bio-chemical-DNA analysis that you worked for 10 years to get and spent half a million dollars for?
Why, I DNA test Dog poop. Mom is so proud and Dad just slit his wrists.

What do do in your position as assistant manager of the HOC.
Why I'm in charge of maintaining the dog poop data base. I have interns from Texas A&M that actually scoop it up, bag it and deliver it.

"I'm sorry-but unless you can establish a clear chain of custody-that poop is inadmissible.

Say, have you field tested that poop? Might be human-if it is we're screwed.

Oh my, good thing I saw this before I started drinking!

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Forum consigliere

Your not gonna have to worry about our doggy.

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Livin’ Life From The Blindside

Oh goody, another dog thread!!! This is sure to get good!!!

When I saw the title of the thread, I thought we were going to look at some pictures of Winnie the Pooh.

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Wake me when it's over...

I want to know when did dog doo become toxic waste. How did we survive in the dark ages when nobody walked around with little bags of **** while they walked their dogs. In northern NJ we have a tremendous black bear problem and contrary to the myth about bears in the woods I can tell you the usually do it in somebody's front yard and it's a pile little bigger than the average pooch and nobody is bagging that up.

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Back to back World War Champs.

Why not just ban dogs over a certain size?
That way nobody has to worry about High Capacity Assault Poop.

APB (Assualt Pooper Ban) . . .

Dogs that can eat more than ten Scooby-snacks at a time will be illegal.

If your dog can eat up to ten snacks, you can keep him but you can only feed him seven.

No new puppies that will eat over seven snacks when fully grown allowed.



(Hey, it makes about as much sense as the new NY mag laws!)

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Where do we go from here?

i would just ask then when its your turn? after they give you a puzzled look tell them i just cant control myself around the "X" bush or tree near "X location" LOL...

Scoop up the dogs but leave some of your's. Let them DNA test that.

Waahahahaaa

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

Or better yet... on a regular basis, go down to the local dog park and collect samples to place in strategic locations. After they have tested 100 samples (at their expense) that they can't collect on, they will abandon the idea.
Just don't get caught leaving your droppings

Now for my opinion... I can understand the issue but this is another example of Liberal extremism that if not checked will spread to other types of behavior control and I hate other people telling me what to do. Who gave them the authority to levee fines? I would think about all they could legally do is raise rents or impose a cleanup fee to cover costs, the next lease cycle. For those that choose or must live in a dense communal society, I suppose you must bend to the will of the group but you do have the option of moving out of the cesspool.

A few years ago some new neighbors moved in down road from us (country dirt lane). A short time later we noticed a box of sandwich bags and a small sign nailed to their property fencepost so I got out to look. It was a note to whoever was letting their dog poop in the road to clean up their mess as they were not used to such behavior in San Francisco and were not going to keep picking it up for whoever!
Taking a closer look at the 1 or 2 piles and the evidence of hair imbedded told me they needed to talk to the local coyote population about their problem. It took a couple of months but the box of baggies disappeared and the coyote scat is still a daily sight.
I am now helping them with their gun smarts.

Bound to cause a little confusion, at the very least. Wow, it
all seems...Orwellian? Totally unrelated, but does anyone
remember who that comic was that said "If aliens were to
see humans walking dogs, they would most likely assume
that the dogs were the dominant species since they were
leading the humans around & the humans were picking up
the dog's poop"?

mtheo-

I would loan you the leopard, but like most cats, he is pretty independent, and I can't get him to make appointments.

I think he hangs around behind Korean restaurants, hoping for handout doggie dinner leftovers. Leopards will scavenge, if they can't find fresher meat. One reason why I admire leopards so much is that they are, above all, survivors.

"Mine" always seems to know when I'm having broiled antelope or his favorite, roast Greater Kudu loin. I let him sit at the table as long as he doesn't block my view of the TV. His table manners are impeccable, and he has learned to select wine well, Chateau Latour being his favorite with red meats. He likes impala but seems to prefer Thomson's gazelles or Springbok. He does like that if I shoot a couple of impala or Lesser Kudu and give him a whole one, he can hang the leftovers in his favorite tree. He just lugs the remainder of the antelope there, disdaining to ask for a "doggie bag", which as a cat he feels is a demeaning term for a leftovers container.

He's a good conversationalist, although he snarls like a mother-in-law if he's had a rough day.

If you'll PM me your home address, I'll tell him and hopefully, if you don't live too far away, he'll come over and take care of your dog problem. Leopards LOVE dog meat!

Just don't shoot too quickly at a shadow moving in your yard at the edge of the light. Might be Mr. Spots, dog removal specialist.


P.S. That term, "At the Edge of the Light" is in fact the title of a Lost World fan fiction that I'm writing. Yes, it involves a leopard, who gives Marguerite, Countess of Avebury, a nasty surprise at dusk.

I grew up in NYC long before the implementation of pooper scooper laws. Playing ball in the street or park was always an adventure ... a hop, skip, and a jump with some keen eyesight usually prevented one from hitting a dog pile. Were the streets filled with dog doo? Was sledding in the winter sometimes gross? Yes indeed. But we never expected the CSI team to come out in a HAZMAT truck to trace the poop to the offending canine. If DNA testing on dog doo is the future, I'll live in the past, thank you very little.

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I'm with the banned ...

I have been told by family to get our dogs sister and have her DNA and picture taken that way our dog can not be traced. LOL. However that is playing dirty pool and not honest, but a fun idea.

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Livin’ Life From The Blindside

Hmmmm, wonder if they'll test the +P version??
Chipmunk6

Personally, as a cat owner, I've always been rather skeptical of this whole "dog" thing. I mean really, a loving, loyal and obedient pet?

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

Holy scatology -- a new Sherlock Holmes thriller --

Sherlock, when asked how he caught the offending pooch, stated:

"Excrementally, my dear".

I would engage in guerilla warfare:

Go to a nearby park with plastic baggies and gather about 10 or 12 different bags of dog poop. Everyday, pick up your dog's poop but late at night, leave some of the park poop in a prominent place (where it will be seen, collected and tested) -- it will drive them crazy that they will not get matches with their database. Do that 10 or 12 nights.

Then, find a friend with a horse or pony, and leave some small clumps of horse and pony poop, and if you have a friend with a Vietnamese pot-belly pig, borrow some pig poo to leave at night.

The apartment management will be driving themselves crazy trying to figure out where those animals are living in their complex.

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Gunner, Sabot Up!

Ok ban our dogs altogether thus making them homeless and living in the pound, then killed it a needle and chemical concotchun. I think I will pick up her poo. LOL. I just do not like the idea of it as I see it as unessasary.

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Livin’ Life From The Blindside

Well, if anyone was wondering what Paul Blart was going to do after his mall cop gig, now we know. Paul Blart, Poo Detective.

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Insert short witty words here

With almost 80 million dogs in the country, I'd bet there are more dogs than dog haters. Might be more fair if the dog haters were licensed and leashed. Hell, we could even build them little parks where they could run around and chase each other for awhile.

Dog poo detective? Tell me, what is it you do do?

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Memory of Randy Freas-Rimfired

I clean up after my dogs...always have.

Having said that, when I just sit back and think of the trillions of tons of insect, fish, bird and mammal doo dropped on the earth every day, I laugh at the sensibilities of people who have a heart attack when they see a steaming coil on the ground!

I've been chased out of my tax-supported park with my dog...even though I have always cleaned up.

I've been chased off most beaches in Michigan...even though I've always cleaned up after my dog.

Yet to see anyone worried about the birds, bugs, fish who are randomly scattering their calling cards all over the same places.

At home....now that's a different story. I cut the grass with a riding mower!

Len

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Qui me amat, amet et canem meum

I HATE digging mosquito poop out of my Vibram soles.....

In my best Jack Webb voice, "Just the poo, ma'am".

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James L. "Jim" Rhiner

My kids and the neighbor kids play in our yard. We have about three acres but I still don't want messy shoes coming in the house!

When I got my latest dog (chocolate lab) I walked her to the woods behind our house and praised her when she went. I did that three times. Then I didn't walk her there and when she assumed the position I told her I was not very happy in my not happy voice.

She immediately got the idea and ran into the woods.

Now when we are at someone else's house or in the park, she will find a tall clump of grass or the edge of the road where the grass is tall. She will NOT go in mowed grass.

I think I have the smartest dog in the world.

I agree it's a problem, I don't like it either when kids are out playing in the yard, I'm not sure if this is the answer but it ought to work.

Race, I don't hate or have any abnormal fears of dogs. I just ain't wild about rude self absorbed folks who are to damn lazy to clean up the mess their animals make, OK. The only thing I dislike more,tonight, is Internet commandos who level unfounded attacks at total stranger who happen to disagree with them.

"The only thing I dislike more,tonight, is Internet commandos who level unfounded attacks at total stranger who happen to disagree with them."

The original poster told a humorous story about a bizarre situation in his apartment complex. The first response was a rant wishing death upon dogs and their owners. Accusing him of hating dogs isn't unfounded, it's accurate. Accusing me of being an internet commando attacking total strangers is not.

My real name is Rob Kaimakis and I'm troubled by men who hate dogs. Sorry if I offended you. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Race, Race...

Here I thought from your board name that you were a character in a F.Scott Fitzgerald novel. Now, you have this admitted second name which is, frankly, Greek to me.

But you are accurate: I do dislke things that bark in the night when I'm trying to sleep, sometimes kill young children in their homes, and which pursue neighbors trying to mow their lawns or just walk home from school. A couple of them got hold of a young woman trying to get in the door of her highrise San Francisco apartment a few years ago and killed her.


Dog bites are a serious health problem, and if the mutt has rabies...Well, read, "A Cold Mind", by David Lindsey. You'll not sleep easily around dogs after. Or skunks, etc. Really, read that: the author did meticulous research and he is a brilliant scribe of detective novels. His background research is impressive, and frightening! What you'll learn about rabies there will make you INSIST that all dogs be innoculated! "Country" dogs who may be exposed to skunks are especially vulnerable.

I am so sorry that you are "troubled" by men who hate dogs. Do you feel that way about men who hate coyotes, too? I also fall into that category.

I think we can get you an appointment with Dr. Phil, on next Thursady's show. He may be able to help you with this problem that you have about dog haters . Of course, if you are crazy enough to be a guest on his show, you probably really DO need to see a shrink!

Sorry, chum, you and I just have differing views of mutts.

And remember: leopards gotta eat, too. Wouldn't you rather have them pick off some dog whose barking has been keeping you awake rather than slay a beautiful antelope, or kill a poor warthog, who may already have personality disorders resulting from being born ugly?

Can't we all just get along?

I don't sweat, or smell the small stuff. Since I have security cameras on my property, it's easy for me to see who the worst offenders are....I just pick up the poop myself, and hand deliver it to the miscreant's mailbox, without so much as leaving a message.

i'm for it. someone in our neighborhood doesn't pick up their dogs poo. more than once, it ended up in or yard and i stepped in it while mowing or coming home from a 3-11 shift. there's nothing like stepping inside and smelling fresh dog poo. it makes ya mad, especially in the winter when the offended boot must be put out for the night and is cold as hades the next day when i put it on.

think of it this way, if everyone was courteous and respectful, you wouldn't need to do this.

i have had dogs, quite a few over the years. our last passed away almost 2 years ago. i don't think we'll ever have another until we move back into the country. too many nosy neighbors. had the popo come twice during the winter...we had a cockerspanial that just loved to play outside in the snow. she absolutely would not come in for hours. nosy neighbors did not like this and called the police. too much hassle. i'll keep my snake. he loves me just as much.

Wail, I like the idea. If you and your dog are behavin', no worries. If ya aren't, okay by me if ya get nailed.

It is pretty darn irritating when you find a pile of dog poop on your property or in front of your house.

I have had dogs, and I have always cleaned up after them. All dog owners should do the same. (Unless on your own property. Okay by me to let your dog **** all over you own property if that's the way you like it. Just not on mine.)

And I do not blame the dogs. I like dogs! I blame the owners, all the way, who do not pick up after their animals.

I would think one or two well placed security camera with a dvr would be cheaper to install, and maintain. Then again I don't own a high rise apartment complex.

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Cheers -Jeff

Grandpa taught me a magic trick one day. He'd take hot bacon grease and put four or five drops on each offending pile of poo in the front yard. I went out there that afternoon and every one of them was gone. I was with him all day working on the boat and we didn't pick'em up.
Chipmunk6

Any idea what the turn around time is on a test result??
takes the real po-po weeks and months to get a reply,, and what company has lab workers eagerly waiting for the claxton to go off signaling a "hot drop"???

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UNDER THE CONE OF SILENCE

Do you have a guard dog? There may be a ban on tactical poo in the works.

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Endeavor to persevere. <><

Watch out!
It could be a ruse that will morph into a database to establish paternity!
You might be makin "Puppy Payments" for life!

Oh, wait- that doesn't even work for people.
Never mind.

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

You know, I read through three or four posts before I figured out that this was NOT a parody. My, my, what is this world coming to?

I would be tempted to go all Fox Mulder and put pink flamingos up all over the place.

When I lived down under, There was a campaign on T.V. radio and in newspapers to get dog owners to clean up after their critters. The theme song?

"Australia,You're standing in it!"

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Halfway and one more step

Call me an old cynic,but somewhere in that management/hoa group,a friend or relative has started a business that will profit from this ;-)

dog owners need to pick up after their dogs,no one disputes this ,but what about cats ? i have had a running battle with tomcats on my property for years ,costing hundreds in damage .sometimes i get lucky and one will just "goes away"

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the rules? there are no rules

And i thought i had heard everything.
DNA testing for dog poo ????
This can't be cheap. Wonder who the heck brought this idea
to the table? Sounds like maybe an ex-gov't employee who
once worked in the current administration.
Perhaps a little night ops is in order as others have suggested.
I would have a little fun with these clowns as well.
A trip to the circus when they come to town for a can full of
Elephant poo might be in order.

Just to make the poo testers talk to themselves for awhile.

Chuck

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They hold no Quarter

That's the start of the implementation of a National Weapons Registry, by Executive Order. By definition, dog poo is a weapon of mass destruction capable of spreading deadly pathogens by air and by foot. It would be easier to track an offending deadly weapon-dog to its owner. After all the dogs, they'll do it for all the cats.

By the time it's all done, there won't be enough funding for a National Gun Registry. Would that prevent them from implementing such? No, they'll just add it to the long list of deficit contributors.