Why not just say NO?

[Rastoff]

Why are people afraid to say no to panhandlers? We've all seen them. You know who I'm talking about. The guys that stand on the side of the street and accost cars at stop lights, gas stations and in front of stores. "Hey buddy, can you spare a dollar?"

Many give them money out of guilt. Why feel guilty about this? Why not just say, "No, I don't have a dollar to spare."

I actually had one guy ask me, "Can you give me some money to buy some weed? I don't want to lie about it." I had no problem telling him that if he had time to get high, he could go look for a job. He didn't like my response.

In this day many of these pan handlers are a threat. Some just want to see if you have more cash so they can rob you later. Be in condition Yellow and don't be afraid to say no.

[radar1972]

Amen. I do say No.

[RobertJ.]

I don't tell them no. I treat them exactly the same way I treat people with petitions, or any other such annoyance. I look them in the eye, give them a warm greeting, and I never break my stride.

[feralmerril]

Rastoff, I used to live in lancaster for many years and probley seen the same bums that you are talking about. They were fixtures. Sometimes I seen them carry the exact same sign. Obviously they passed it back and forth like a work tool.
Mohave sure turned into a dump since highway 58 cut it off. In lancaster near sierra highway and between ave K and J there was/is a open field and they had sleeping holes dug. You drive by right at sun up and they would be popping up like ground hogs and relieving themselves.

[Hodgin]

I react my ignoring the ones on the roadside like RobertJ does. The ones I meet on the street/store fronts are not as easy to ignore. I just say I'm broke and go on.

I admit to feeling a bit guilty about this, but I suspect 90 percent of these people are looking for money to support some sort of addiction. I'd gladly buy someone in need a meal or clothing if I knew that's where it was going. I donate to organizations such as the Salvation Army and the Nashville Rescue Mission. These organizations are better equipped to determine where to spend this money than me.

[alwslate]

Many pan handlers are pretty skilled at what they do. They have a
knack for presenting their problems to you in a way that it starts to
feel that you bear responsibility for their welfare. I think people give
to them out of guilt or as just an easy way to get rid of them. I think
the vast majority of pan handlers are not a threat, but if they sense
fear they may try to exploit it. The worst pan handlers in my experience
are not street people but never-do-well friends and family members.

[ralph7]

Originally Posted by alwslate

Many pan handlers are pretty skilled at what they do. They have a
knack for presenting their problems to you in a way that it starts to
feel that you bear responsibility for their welfare. I think people give
to them out of guilt or as just an easy way to get rid of them. I think
the vast majority of pan handlers are not a threat, but if they sense
fear they may try to exploit it. The worst pan handlers in my experience
are not street people but never-do-well friends and family members.

Those are easy to get rid of.
Give them a little bit of money and they will go away so they won't have to pay you back.

[petepeterson]

I was walking into a Subway near my workplace, which is a pretty distressed area, when someone walked up to me asking for some money get something to eat. After I gave him the once-over and determined he wasn't going to harm me, I stepped back down from "orange" and told him "no cash, but you're welcome to come in with me for a sandwich."

The funny part was when he realized that he was hungry, and said "sure!"

After he got his food, he thanked me, and I wished him luck and walked back to my truck.

Would you believe he came back and asked me for busfare to get downtown??? With his mouth full, no less....

[olcop]

I guess I'm a sucker for anyone who is down on his luck, whether it's his own fault or not--from my avatar you'd think I was a very cynical person:
Several years ago I was traveling with a fellow salesman, we checked in that night, and when we parked, there was a group of guys standing around a truck, one of them came over and said he was from the same county in Georgia that I was, and that they were out there on a job and the owner stiffed them, and they needed some money to buy gas to get home---and they looked exactly like that was the situation, I gave them $20.00 and my friend said he didn't have any cash,
A few months later my friend checked into the same motel--and he couldn't wait to call and tell me, those guys were still there, still broke down and needed gas money, (he didn't give them any that time either). I've given money to people begging in front of a liquor store, I just can't help it----but I suspect the the underlying cause in my case is that I was always taught that you never know when an angel is being sent to test you.
olcop

[tork'd]

town across the river from us gives out permits for the panhandlers....
go figure....

[Brian41]

I just say no and keep walking. Anything more than that and they've engaged you in conversation and won't let up. I feel bad for those that are down on their luck and hungry but most aren't and just looking for a handout. I give to charities that will help them if they'll just ask.
I had a man ask me for my carryout bag with leftovers in Detroit's Greek town once. I said no and kept walking. My wife asked why I didn't give it to him and I told her I didn't want him to get that close and possibly do me harm. That was before we had a CCW law and I was unarmed at the time.

[Damn Yankee]

I just tell them to get on the other side of the street that I'M working this side.

[sipowicz]

I say "I only have a five spot...wait here, I am going to the bank and will be right back,"

[Mcwsky09]

Had a person behind me at a dunkin donuts with a story about how his car was across the street at the gas station but he had no money. I have him the 50 cents or so I got in change and as I sat down with my son to east our donuts this guy gets on the bus right in front of the window I am looking out.
I have heard stories about individuals making tens of thousands of dollars tax free pan handling.
On a trip from Dallas to Tucson a woman passenger got into an argument with the flight attendant. The next day I saw the same woman on the side of the road with a sign begging for money.
I am sure there are those who are homeless etc through no fault of their own but to stay that way for a long time suggests time that you are mentally ill or a drug user.
Perhaps the best story I heard is the guy begging for money because he's got nothing and the guy walking by says well then you're better off than me cause I have $200,000 in debt.

[J. W.]

Due to all the various charities, shelters, etc, my fair city is a Mecca for transients. I absolutely, positively will not give anyone cash. None of these people need money to get a meal, have their clothes washes or a warm place to lay their head. The ones out on the corner hassling the working folks want money for alcohol and drugs, period.

Additionally, most are wanted at some level, somewhere. I arrest several panhandlers a week on warrants. Not only are they leaches on society, they're crazy, drunk/drugged and possibly dangerous.

One of our locals recently entered a restaurant with a claw hammer and attempted to attack one of our officers eating breakfast...


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[gm272gs]

I took a <panhandler> guy out to breakfast with me once. He had burns over most of what I could see on his body. He said he received them in Vietnam. Could have been a story, could have been the truth. I didn't care, and we had a pleasent breakfast together.

Normally though, I just say no.

[Raider]

A few months back, I was approached in the Wally parking lot by a young woman (early twenties) begging for money. She was slim, had thinning hair, dull eyes, bad skin and rotten teeth. An obvious meth head. A year or so prior, she had been a very beautiful young woman. Now she looked like a 60 year old hag. It broke my heart to tell her no but I couldn't contribute to her addiction. It also made me angry because Wally wouldn't run the beggars off because they were aggressively pestering the customers in the lot.

On the other hand, not long after, I saw a young man and woman begging on the corner at the stoplight. They were well dressed, healthy, clean and obviously boyfriend/girlfriend. Their sign said, "We just want a nice expensive lunch. Please give". People were shoving money out their windows for them like crazy. Clever way to get a free lunch I guess. I didn't give.

Charlie

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

You never know.

Many years ago, I was home on leave and had occasion to be waiting for a bus on a corner in a marginal neighborhood in Newark, NJ. A young fellow, probably not even twenty, not a bum, came up to me with some story, possibly true, about where his money went the night before, and asked for some money to get something to eat that morning. He didn't look like he was implying any kind of threat, so I gave him my change, probably less than a dollar. He went into the drugstore/candy store(/luncheonette?) on that corner. A minute later I decided I wanted something and went into the store. On the way out, the kid hands me the change from what he had bought!

[trapper704]

There was a man with a sign and story at walmart parking lot, my wife bought it gave him $5.00. Less than a week later was driving to our kids house and saw that same man getting out of a newer ford diesel pickup in nice clothes at a nice house . I choose very carefully on my gut feelings before I give anything anymore. There are getting to be to many regulars at the same spots around here year after year.

[Hendel]

A lot of these people do it for a living. A lot of them are mentally ill.

I've given once, but he was so darned entertaining, he earned it. Even if it was only a dollar.

[TheYoungblood]

I once gave a few dollars to someone and that person tried to be "rude" about getting the remaining cash so I had to explain my "No". After that, I tell them I only have plastic on me. If they want food to come inside with me and I might buy something... They have never taken up my offer.

[bgrafsr]

No panhandler, but I saw a younger man standing by the Turnpike waiting for someone to give him a ride. It was cold out and he was dressed for it, but I could tell he had been outside for some time. I drove over to a fast food place (I was on duty), bought several burgers and some fries, and a couple cups of coffee. He was still there when I went back, so I stopped and had him come over to the cruiser. He was a little apprehensive, but when I gave him the food and coffee, his eyes lit up. He thanked me and I drove off, wishing him good luck.

Another time, at Christmas time, I went to a burglary where some gifts and the tree were stolen. I thought I knew who did it, but couldn't prove it and I felt bad. Gave them money to replace the tree, as they did not have a lot to begin with.

[cmort666]

Originally Posted by Rastoff

Why are people afraid to say no to panhandlers?

I'm not.

A few years ago, I was in the Cleveland Amtrak station in the middle of the night waiting for a train to Apartheid Chicago.

A shifty looking guy came in and started hitting up the captive audience, focusing on the women who were clearly intimidated by him. He had a *** story about living in his car with his kids that stank like a two week old blue whale carcass in front of the Alamo in August.

When he got to me I just looked up at him with my best Anton Chigurh expression and said to him without a hint of emotion, "I've got nothing for you."

He was Black, but he turned sort of a dark gray color, kind of like the color of WWI Austrian army uniform pants. He moved on to the next "customer" so fast, he was practically in both places at once, like Doctor Who.

Do you think the fact that I was wearing a "NRA Pistol Instructor" hat and reading Ayoob's "Combat Handgunnery" had anything to do with it? Probably not...

A few minutes later, an Amtrak cop showed up, pointedly noted that he'd been asked to leave previously, and escorted him out.

[Xtasy]

I don't have to say no to them because my doors are locked and windows shut. As easy as that.

[truckemup97]

If they are asking for money for food, and I am close to a fast food restaurant, I will generally offer to buy them a meal, but not give them cash. They rarely take me up on it, and I often am cussed for my trouble. Occasionally, I will give someone a buck or two. Sometimes, I see the same person, in the same place, several months later, with the same story about how if they can just get gas money they can get to that new city where they have a job, or get to Mom's funeral, or....well, you've heard all the stories. They generally aren't too happy when I comment on the fact that, after six months, they still haven't collected enough money to get to the next truck stop down the road.

We used to have a family, or clan, or gang, or some loose assemblage of humans, that worked the I-44 exit near our house. Best I could tell, there were about six of them, and they worked in shifts. Two would work at a time, one on the east-bound off ramp, the other, west-bound. Every once in a while, a fairly nice conversion van would drive up, the next shift would get out, and the retiring shift would drive off to do whatever they did with their bounty. A couple of years ago, they widened the highway, and the construction drove the panhandler family away. Road work is finished, and they haven't returned. I guess they found greener pastures.

On a mission trip with the kids from church, we came across a man with a "Will work for food" sign under I-70 in downtown St. Louis. I had the girls pass up some of the leftovers from lunch, a couple of pieces of fruit and two small bags of chips. I handed them to the man and he was truly grateful. True gratefulness doesn't seem to occur very often anymore when you try to help someone. Maybe that's why most of us are reluctant to help in the first place.

[bp231986]

Sometimes I give them a bottle of water or a meal but not money. There have been plenty of times I smile and say no but wish them luck.


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[ArmyCop]

I agree. Most times I politely tell them "Sorry, I don't have anything to give you".
On rare occations I might buy someone some food.

[jag312]

My grandfather was a very hard working, religious man who always attended church on Sunday. Every Sunday there was an elderly woman sitting on a chair in front of the chirch begging for money. My grandfather would always give her some of his hard earned money. One Sunday he went to church very early. He saw a limousine stop in front of the church. A chauffer took a chair out of the trunk and then escorted the elderly woman to her begging place. Later my grandfather laughed how he and others at the church had been fooled, but he never gave a cent to anyone after that. I don't give money either.

[ladder13]

Originally Posted by sipowicz

I say "I only have a five spot...wait here, I am going to the bank and will be right back,"

What if they have change?

[SgtLumpy]

Nobody gets my money, no matter what their story is.

Local homeless guy, that I've seen for years, used to ride his bike up and down the street. When I saw him a couple weeks ago, he was on foot. I asked him "Where's your bike?" He told me someone had stolen it from the planter where he sleeps (big, huge palm tree planter at the convenience store).

I built him a new bike. Old bike frame, new chain, new tires tubes. I installed thorn resistant strips and "Slime" and kevlar tires so flat tires wouldn't tend to be a problem. Gave him a chain and padlock and a kubaton with the key.

Two days later, saw him on foot. He said he sold the bike.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Generally, my response to those in front of Wally's or similar is a forceful and loud "MOVE". They do.


Sgt Lumpy

[CAJUNLAWYER]

Originally Posted by petepeterson

I was walking into a Subway near my workplace, which is a pretty distressed area, when someone walked up to me asking for some money get something to eat. After I gave him the once-over and determined he wasn't going to harm me, I stepped back down from "orange" and told him "no cash, but you're welcome to come in with me for a sandwich."

The funny part was when he realized that he was hungry, and said "sure!"

After he got his food, he thanked me, and I wished him luck and walked back to my truck.

Would you believe he came back and asked me for busfare to get downtown??? With his mouth full, no less....

Kinda like my story. Guy asked me for some money at a gas station and I said no, but come inside and I'll give you a beer off my six pack I'm getting for myself. Well he gets angry because I didn't buy Budweiser and said he wasn't gonna drink Schaeffers Lite. Turned down the pork skins too. I told him that if he wanted a Budweiser and something healthy to eat then he needed to go find someone driving a Mercedes and to bugger off.

[Rastoff]

It bugs me that the situation has turned into what it is. I actually want to help people, but the number of those that are not genuinely in need far outstrips those that really need it.

I have given money and bought food for many in the past. Alas, I have similar stories as some of those above. I have become jaded against pan handlers.

What really gets me is the audacity of these people. Most are capable of working, at least that's what the sign says, but choose not to get a regular job. They have no conscience and it doesn't bother them at all to do nothing and just ask for handouts. That's what really bothers me.

Now we have stories of beggars attacking people for not giving them money. They are getting bolder. I see this as a real problem. One guy actually tried to open the door on my wife's Jeep while she was at a light. Fortunately she had it locked and the light turned green at that moment.

[arjay]

I had a guy approach me while I was eating in my truck at McDs so I handed him my fries.He backed away as if I was trying to poison him...

[arjay]

I had two different guys that got very aggressive with me one night in the city about 30 minutes apart.I was surprised at how hostile I got,I'm usually easy going.I need to get a permit,I must be looking old and weak.

[Smoke]

About 20 years ago I picked up a hitchhiker in Arizona and drove him to the Walsenburg exit on I 25 he was quite happy to get the ride. I wouldn’t do that today.

I used to give money but a couple years after the hitchhiker story I let a homeless guy into my home to feed him. First he wasn’t happy with the hot dogs I cooked then he went across the street to the liquor store and this supposedly broke guy came back with a bottle of ever clear and a pack of smokes and was concerned that I might have gone through his stuff while he was gone. I booted him out the door on the spot and never gave a dime since.

I almost never carry cash so if I do get hit up I tell them honestly I don’t have any cash

[Levallois]

I had girl with children in a large but old SUV block me at a gas station and refuse to move unless I gave her money. So I took my phone out, pointed to her while moving my finger ear to ear across my neck and started to dial. She moved. I always wondered if that worked for her before or if she just decided to try something new (and stupid)?

[UncaGrunny]

(Had a long preamble to this written, chose against posting it as it could be misconstrued as political)

In short, "I gave at the office" when it comes to supporting others I do not personally choose to support, to the point where more of my income goes to that purpose via taxes and fees than is left to service my own chosen purposes.

I have no plans to give more at the street corner. I do my charitable giving when and where I choose, not based on which street I happen to drive on or walk down.

I do sometimes choose to front a meal or some other reward for people whom IN MY SOVEREIGN JUDGEMENT have earned such an honorarium... but I must be honest (even if it speaks ill of my character) that I do not feel that I owe anyone else food, lodging, or comfort simply because they are currently above room temperature, unless I created them or swore to support them. Any more than I feel the same is 'owed' me by random strangers.

I have friends and family that have a much more legitimate call upon the limited fruits of my labor, than does Random_Unfortunate_01.

The gov't has demanded and secured (near-unlimited) authority and (record-setting) resources to 'take care of the less fortunate;' then they'd best do so.

[straightshooter1]

I'm not afraid to say "No!" and I often do. On the other hand, I actually look at the people, size them up the best I can and if I think they are really in need, then I give them something.

I don't have a crystal ball, and I am sure there are those I gave something to that were scamming me and I am equally sure there were some I turned down who really were in need.

I have a number of years of law enforcement, but I know I am still just guessing-maybe a more educated guess than some, but still a guess.

I mentioned on the other thread about donations, that when I give the person some money, I take the opportunity to tell him/her about Someone who can help the person far more than I can. Sometimes I have had the opportunity then to then introduce them and sometimes they are not interested.

But, I will gladly give someone a dollar or two if they will listen to me for just a few minutes. And if the money helps them, that's great, and if they use it to buy alcohol, then that's their choice-it's their money.

Bob

[USAF385]

I've been told this is inconsiderate, but I used to keep business cards to a local employment agency in my wallet and handed those out instead of cash.

Teach a man to fish, right?

[DanTana]

I live in a big city and have been asked for money more times than I care to count and said no as many times. After a few times, you get numb to it and have no problem just ignoring these people. Sometimes you want to feel sorry for them, but next thing you know it is probably just another scam to get a dollar from you. I've heard and seen them all, well nearly all of them. Granted, I have given some a dollar here and there, but most the time I just keep walking or pretend I didn't even hear them.

[Rastoff]

Originally Posted by USAF385

I've been told this is inconsiderate, but I used to keep business cards to a local employment agency in my wallet and handed those out instead of cash.

Teach a man to fish, right?

This is a good idea.

[Rangerpat]

Many years ago... the best request for "spare change" came from a female who told me she needed the money to buy tampons.
I handed her a dollar and she walked across the street into a bar that was selling .25 cent draft beers.

[mstuhr]

Howdy,
I try to evaluate things and act accordingly. Even at that, I hate it when I'm wrong and see some slug run off with my money.
Not long ago a lady at the St. Charles gun show claimed she needed money for gas to get her boy to the E.R.. We were at a station right off the property and she had a little boy in the car. I gave her some money and the next thing I see is the "Sick little boy" running out the station door with two big hands full of Peanut butter cups.
I don't feel bad about giving it to her but I feel bad she lied about being in need.
She was still going car to car begging when I was ready to leave. I thought briefly about putting a wheel on her on my way by.
What do you do?
We are fortunate, we don't have much of a problem around here as I see in other places.
Thanks
Mike

[Iggy]

I've seen too many of them using panhandling for a lucrative career to bite on their stories or even slow down.

I know one guy who drives a late model suburban who has been out of gas near a truck stop on I-80 for 3 years.

[Smoke]

Originally Posted by straightshooter1

I mentioned on the other thread about donations, that when I give the person some money, I take the opportunity to tell him/her about Someone who can help the person far more than I can. Sometimes I have had the opportunity then to then introduce them and sometimes they are not interested.
Bob

In case you're wondering if anyone got it I did

[UncaGrunny]

Capitalization is important in such matters!

[CajunBass]

My wife and I were visiting DC with her son and his fiancee a few years ago. We'd walked all over blanks half acer, and were tired. The kids wanted to go into the National Archives. It was late, dark and getting cold. My wife and I sat down on the marble terrace around the NA.

As we watched the people walk by, (it was a few weeks before Christmas)...I pulled my hat off my head and held it out. I pulled a handfull of change out of my pocket, and tossed it in..."Seed money" I told my wife. She was horrified, and amused at the same time. I thought sure we looked like bums from the get-go.

People started to walk around us. They'd cross over to the far side of the sidewalk, walk by then come back to the inside after they got past us. No one made eye contact, or spoke to us. Not one person dropped a dime in my hat. It ain't as easy as it looks apparently.

The kids came out of the NA and almost died of embarrasment. Which of course was the entire intent of doing it in the first place. If we can't embarrass our kids, who can we embarrass? My step-son said, "We can't take you two ANYWHERE, can we...come on...geeze....I can't belive you did that."

There used to be a fellow who panhandled in Richmond, who had a black dog with him. Around the dogs neck was a sign that said "I'm with stupid", and had an arrow pointing at the fellow. My wife would give the dog treats. The fellow always thanked her.

[Old TexMex]

Saying "No" to a panhandler is about the only chance I get to avoid enabling. My taxes already do way more than enough of that.

[therevjay]

I'm not afraid to say no and I do if they have a bad attitude. If they're civil I most often fork over a dollar, or whatever change I have in my pocket. You never know, maybe there is something to that "karma stuff."

[Stevens]

I tell them "Sorry, can't help you today" and walk by. The volunteer firemen, boy and girl scouts sometimes are at the Lowes or WMT entrances I do donate to them.
Steve W