How Tequila Works...
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m657
Member
.....from what I recall from experimentation decades ago Tequila also was capable of:
1) making me invulnerable;
2) making me invisible;
3) making me otherwise unaffected by Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics;
4) making me regard the possibility of death an attractive alternative to the
experimental ingestion procedures initiated during the prior cycle seeking to disconnect
one's frontal lobes from the "Drinking Gyrus" deep in the primitive Worm Brain center....
1) making me invulnerable;
2) making me invisible;
3) making me otherwise unaffected by Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics;
4) making me regard the possibility of death an attractive alternative to the
experimental ingestion procedures initiated during the prior cycle seeking to disconnect
one's frontal lobes from the "Drinking Gyrus" deep in the primitive Worm Brain center....
Bailey Boat
Member
I know someone is going to say "This thread is worthless without pics" but Tequila makes my wife's clothes fall off!!!!!!!
ingmansinc
US Veteran
This thread is worthless without pics.
That having been said,---------?
One Tequila,
Two Tequila
Three Tequila,
Four
Five Tequila
Six Tequila
Seven Tequila
Floor.
Two Tequila
Three Tequila,
Four
Five Tequila
Six Tequila
Seven Tequila
Floor.
S/W - Lifer
Member
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Tequila will land you in jail faster than any drink available to mortal man.
Which reminds me, if you drink, do it reasonably. I just appeared at a parole hearing for a pal who has served 13 out of 30 years. It ain't what he did that I'm concerned about at this point. He did it while drinking and lost his head. Matter of fact, he lost a lot more than that. Not a good road to go down.
Which reminds me, if you drink, do it reasonably. I just appeared at a parole hearing for a pal who has served 13 out of 30 years. It ain't what he did that I'm concerned about at this point. He did it while drinking and lost his head. Matter of fact, he lost a lot more than that. Not a good road to go down.
calmex
Member
After nearly twenty years here in Bananaland, I can say without a word of a lie that I've run into the stuff a time or two. Fortunately, I have never liked it much. I guess a good Bourbon whiskey would be my choice, or one of the semi-dark beers that float around here ("Indio" is my personal favorite).
Mexicans I meet socially often go to great lengths to try to impress me with "Tequila lore", often unsuspecting that a blond-haired Canadian like me might actually speak Spanish and might also have toured a tequila plant or two.
Anytime I find "Tequila education" to start to be boring (it happens faster and faster these days as I become more impatient and tired of 'same-old, same-old') I like to point out that the nice amber color of good fine aged tequila comes most often because the tequila -- normally clear in color -- has been aged in oak casks originally used to make fine bourbon. Used casks from whiskey's like Maker's Mark or I would assume Jack Daniels or Jim Beam {and I say assume because I don't know that ALL bourbon casks from all makers come down here, but I know some do because I saw the casks being used in a plant I toured about 6 years ago during the "agave shortage") come down here to be used again to age tequila.
The nice amber color and the slightly distinctive taste come from the interaction of the bourbon impregnated burned oak casks over time changing the clear unaged fine tequila into "anejo" or "reposado" finer brand tequila.
Are Scotch casks ever used? Don't know.
Do all fine tequilas use bourbon casks? Don't know that either, but certainly many do.
I have actually irritated many Mexican "macho" men by pointing this out, as if it's some sort of insult to their National Heritage or something. On the other hand, there are usually just as many Mexican men hanging around that blurt out; "He's right, you know?" to calm the air down.
I remember, I went to a wedding once. I showed up and all the tables were out under the open-air, lit by the setting sun, at this ranch. I was the only blond-hair (read foreigner) there, and the gatedoor-guys were trying in pitiful English to get some mystical point across to me.
"Tell me in Spanish." I asked them. Their eyes lit up, and they immediately told me that the host had told them to watch for me, and that seating was by "family". Since I was not in either family or extended-family, I was to find my table by finding the "clue".
"What do you mean 'find my table?' " I inquired.
The doormen smiled and said that my table had been "marked" in a certain way that I was supposed to recognize.
"Oh, great" I thought to myself. "More Mexican games." So I walked out onto the stumbly grass and started inspecting each table. Eight set places, eight chairs, white table cloths, 4 bottles on each table -- 1 tequila Herradura, 1 Solera Rum, 1 red wine and 1 white wine. Fine, next table the same, and so on. As I got near the front table -- where the bride and groom were to sit -- I saw a table with 5 bottles. I walked over and aside from the 4 other bottles, this table had a bottle of white-label Jim Beam.
I had to assume that "this is the spot" and I plopped myself down for a night of festivity. Anywhere else would have used a place-name I suppose.
Mexicans I meet socially often go to great lengths to try to impress me with "Tequila lore", often unsuspecting that a blond-haired Canadian like me might actually speak Spanish and might also have toured a tequila plant or two.
Anytime I find "Tequila education" to start to be boring (it happens faster and faster these days as I become more impatient and tired of 'same-old, same-old') I like to point out that the nice amber color of good fine aged tequila comes most often because the tequila -- normally clear in color -- has been aged in oak casks originally used to make fine bourbon. Used casks from whiskey's like Maker's Mark or I would assume Jack Daniels or Jim Beam {and I say assume because I don't know that ALL bourbon casks from all makers come down here, but I know some do because I saw the casks being used in a plant I toured about 6 years ago during the "agave shortage") come down here to be used again to age tequila.
The nice amber color and the slightly distinctive taste come from the interaction of the bourbon impregnated burned oak casks over time changing the clear unaged fine tequila into "anejo" or "reposado" finer brand tequila.
Are Scotch casks ever used? Don't know.
Do all fine tequilas use bourbon casks? Don't know that either, but certainly many do.
I have actually irritated many Mexican "macho" men by pointing this out, as if it's some sort of insult to their National Heritage or something. On the other hand, there are usually just as many Mexican men hanging around that blurt out; "He's right, you know?" to calm the air down.
I remember, I went to a wedding once. I showed up and all the tables were out under the open-air, lit by the setting sun, at this ranch. I was the only blond-hair (read foreigner) there, and the gatedoor-guys were trying in pitiful English to get some mystical point across to me.
"Tell me in Spanish." I asked them. Their eyes lit up, and they immediately told me that the host had told them to watch for me, and that seating was by "family". Since I was not in either family or extended-family, I was to find my table by finding the "clue".
"What do you mean 'find my table?' " I inquired.
The doormen smiled and said that my table had been "marked" in a certain way that I was supposed to recognize.
"Oh, great" I thought to myself. "More Mexican games." So I walked out onto the stumbly grass and started inspecting each table. Eight set places, eight chairs, white table cloths, 4 bottles on each table -- 1 tequila Herradura, 1 Solera Rum, 1 red wine and 1 white wine. Fine, next table the same, and so on. As I got near the front table -- where the bride and groom were to sit -- I saw a table with 5 bottles. I walked over and aside from the 4 other bottles, this table had a bottle of white-label Jim Beam.
I had to assume that "this is the spot" and I plopped myself down for a night of festivity. Anywhere else would have used a place-name I suppose.
CAJUNLAWYER
Member
Rum makes my wife's clothes fall off-I don't let her drink it anymore 
Tequila on the other hand releases my inner beast, my joive d'vivre, my carnal nature and other primal drives. It makes me strong, witty and a gift to the fairer sex. Men fear and respect me and cower in my presence-I take what I want and am completely versed on all knowlege since the dawn of time-my wife doesn't let me drink it any more
.
Tequila on the other hand releases my inner beast, my joive d'vivre, my carnal nature and other primal drives. It makes me strong, witty and a gift to the fairer sex. Men fear and respect me and cower in my presence-I take what I want and am completely versed on all knowlege since the dawn of time-my wife doesn't let me drink it any more
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Rum makes my wife's clothes fall off-I don't let her drink it anymore
Tequila on the other hand releases my inner beast, my joive d'vivre, my carnal nature and other primal drives. It makes me strong, witty and a gift to the fairer sex. Men fear and respect me and cower in my presence-I take what I want and am completely versed on all knowlege since the dawn of time-my wife doesn't let me drink it any more
Now that you've stopped drinkin' the stuff....does she notice any difference...
...giz
I was in college and came home one weekend wearing a Jose Cuervo t-shirt, my mom asked me if it was a new shirt as she hadn't seen it before. I proudly told her it was and that I won it the other night at the Tap Room, they had a promo with Jose Cuervo, they lined up eight shots of Cuervo and if you did all eight they paid for the tequila and gave you a shirt, if you didn't do all eight, you paid for as many as you did and didn't get a shirt. Mom gave me a funny look and said, "well, I certainly wouldn't tell anyone!" 
Out West
Member
Hey, hey, hey! Looks like I'm going home with two tonight. Saweeeeet.
Grayfox
US Veteran
Tequila is nothing but trouble in a bottle.
I'd explain, but the details are still a bit hazy to this day.
I'd explain, but the details are still a bit hazy to this day.
Crazy K38
Member
well I have learned the hard way tequila is death juice, either you die or I die and I really don't care but I am fighting anyway!
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I think I know that girl in the first post.......
Crazy K38
Member
did we have a coyote ugly moment lee?
mstuhr
Member
Yikes
Howdy,
I avoid it at all cost. The only reflection I see in a glass when I drink that stuff is me naked and tazered.
What is it about that stuff that sets a person free?
I am fairly experienced with Canadian whiskey and cant consume enough to make me as goofy as tequila.
An old gentleman friend of my Dad's used to tell me it did not matter how much you drink as long as you behave like a genleman.
I dont drink like I did years ago but allways found his advice to be sound but I just cant do it with tequila.
Thanks
Mike
Howdy,
I avoid it at all cost. The only reflection I see in a glass when I drink that stuff is me naked and tazered.
What is it about that stuff that sets a person free?
I am fairly experienced with Canadian whiskey and cant consume enough to make me as goofy as tequila.
An old gentleman friend of my Dad's used to tell me it did not matter how much you drink as long as you behave like a genleman.
I dont drink like I did years ago but allways found his advice to be sound but I just cant do it with tequila.
Thanks
Mike
7003006
Member
One New Year Eve back in my younger days Tequila almost killed me,twice.A bunch of friends and I are sitting at the bar and some guy offers us some jerky and horse radish sauce,but this is no ordinary horse radish sauce-it's mixed 50/50 with nueclar waste and then diluted with pepper spray.By this time I was well into my bottle and didn't notice until I was almost done with my second piece of jerky(topped with a liberal scoop of horse radish sauce) that the first piece had caused me to stop breathing and nearly stopped my heart.
Later on at the American Legion in a small town where everyone knew everyone else,except us,and they apparently wern't to fond of interlopers,one of my friends had words with one of the locals.It stopped at words and everything was fine until...another friend tells me about it and then points the guy out.By now I'm done with my bottle and am pretty sure I'm gona live forever.I stagger over to this guy and do my best to knock him thru the wall.As every able bodied male in the place started to close in around me I started to realize that not only am I not going to live forever,I'm probably going to die in the next minute or so. Luckily for me when seconds counted,this time at least,the cops were right there.We got a police escort to our cars and a friendly invitation not to come back.
Now whenever I see a bottle of Jose Cuervo I break into a cold sweat and have to leave the room.
Later on at the American Legion in a small town where everyone knew everyone else,except us,and they apparently wern't to fond of interlopers,one of my friends had words with one of the locals.It stopped at words and everything was fine until...another friend tells me about it and then points the guy out.By now I'm done with my bottle and am pretty sure I'm gona live forever.I stagger over to this guy and do my best to knock him thru the wall.As every able bodied male in the place started to close in around me I started to realize that not only am I not going to live forever,I'm probably going to die in the next minute or so. Luckily for me when seconds counted,this time at least,the cops were right there.We got a police escort to our cars and a friendly invitation not to come back.
Now whenever I see a bottle of Jose Cuervo I break into a cold sweat and have to leave the room.
berto
Member
Tequila is the devil, or so I've heard.
One's the best.
Two's the most.
Three you're under the table.
Four you're under the host.
One's the best.
Two's the most.
Three you're under the table.
Four you're under the host.
LoadedRound
Member
I was in college and came home one weekend wearing a Jose Cuervo t-shirt, my mom asked me if it was a new shirt as she hadn't seen it before. I proudly told her it was and that I won it the other night at the Tap Room, they had a promo with Jose Cuervo, they lined up eight shots of Cuervo and if you did all eight they paid for the tequila and gave you a shirt, if you didn't do all eight, you paid for as many as you did and didn't get a shirt. Mom gave me a funny look and said, "well, I certainly wouldn't tell anyone!"
You're a lucky man. The first time I ever drank tequila, I had twelve more than you. Really haven't much of a taste for it after that.
But don't worry, I can drink other stuff and act like a dumb ass.
ExRanger714
Member
By taking a sip of water and holding it in my mouth while add a slug of tequila I can attest even the cheap stuff goes down just fine.
Add a cup of hot coffee after every 6 or 8 ounces of tequila to ward off the sleepys and look out!
Add a cup of hot coffee after every 6 or 8 ounces of tequila to ward off the sleepys and look out!
