I'm finding that Bayou "hi-Tec" coated bullets are more accurate than either Berry's or Rainier plated bullets in my 9mm's; they are also significantly cheaper than either of those two. No experience with Xtreme bullets.
For 38 Spl's my best accuracy comes from 148 Gr.HBWC's (uncoated). I've not yet tried Berry's plated HBWC's but will do so in the near future; I too am a fan of lead avoidance. -S2