The M&P 9C and Glock 19 are too small and don't feel right in my hand...The HK VP9, Walther's and Sig P320 don't appeal to me...
That being the case, I would definitely look at a full size M&P for carry and nightstand duty.
Some of the discussion above focuses on the fact that smaller pistols are easier to conceal and more comfortable to carry. Both true, no doubt.
And a gun that's so big that you won't carry it is no asset at all. But as Clint Smith once said in response to a question about why he carried a five inch, steel Government Model .45 ACP pistol, "A pistol is supposed to be comforting, not comfortable."
Which pistol will most of us shoot better under almost every circumstance at lawful self defense distances? G17 or G26? Full size M&P 9mm or a Shield? Lightweight Officer's Model ACP, or a Government Model .45? For the majority of us, the longer sight radius, larger grip frame, and heavier weight of the full size examples will enable us to shoot better with them. And isn't giving yourself the highest possible chance of stopping a [clearly unavoidable] lethal threat with fast, accurate fire the objective of concealed carry?
With a well-designed holster, most anyone can effectively conceal a full size pistol without Eskimo-like cover garments. IWB or AIWB, of course, are best for this, but an untucked and unbuttoned Columbia fishing shirt or Tommy Bahama silk or cotton shirt over a tucked-in T-shirt will conceal even an OWB holster, spare mags, and a flashlight on the belt.
I live in Florida and carry a full size pistol every day in a Matt Del Fatti IWB holster quite comfortably along with two spare magazines on the opposite side, sometimes under nothing more than a dark T-shirt.
That pistol isn't my VTAC M&P 9mm - but I'd be just fine with it if it were.
Finally, if none of the production Glocks or M&Ps seem quite right for you, Ben Simonson of Boresight Solutions is the best in the business at re-contouring and re-texturing frames for those pistols. Full disclosure - I have no vested interest in Ben's business, I'm just a satisfied customer with three of his pistols.
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Like you, I have large hands - but his modified G19 fits my hand almost as well as a 1911, so I shoot it well. The only downside to it (pinching the heel of my firing hand on a fast mag change/reload) is something I've eliminated by carrying spare G17 mags, with the added benefit of two more rounds.
Good luck in your quest.