I've always seen some normal and expected wear on my alloy frames in the areas you've mentioned. Ditto on the alloy models I've helped support over the years.
The peening and wear seen down inside the frame's camming shoulders (caused by the barrel lugs on each side of the feedramp area) isn't unexpected.
One time some years ago I became concerned that I was seeing more wear in that area on a 4013TSW than on my 9's & .45's, and I took the opportunity to show it to a fellow visiting from the factory. He told me he did a lot of weekend local competitive shooting with a pair of 4003TSW's, and that each of his 4003's had been fired more than 25K. He said that his 4003's displayed about the same amount of wear my 4013TSW displayed at less than 3K rounds. His opinion was that it was self-limiting, presuming normal maintenance, inspections and replacement of recoil springs.
I've been told by a more experienced armorer at another agency that the critical spot where peening should not occur in the area of the frame's camming shoulders is at the very top of them. He said this point controls the release of the barrel to go back into battery and it must remain sharp and constant as when originally produced. He went on to tell me that he had an early production 4013 which had started to exhibit peened and uneven top edges on each of the frame's angled shoulders and which interfered with normal cycling. Once that had occurred his frame was toast and the factory replaced his gun with another model at no charge.
I once had a guy bring me a 3913TSW for inspection and maintenance. He shot it frequently and had reached between 12-15K rounds. He claimed he had replaced the recoil spring approx every 5K rounds. I found an unusual scratch on the outside/front of the frame's dustcover. It was about 1/2" long and appeared to run approx parallel to the bottom of the frame's dustcover rail, looking at the dustcover from the front edge, starting at the very front of the dustcover on one side. When I applied pressure to the frame I found that the scratch was really a crack.
This was a weird crack because it was in a non-stressed area. The owner said he'd seen the crack some time ago but had just thought it was a scratch and ignored it. His gun had not been experiencing any functioning issues. The factory examined the gun and wanted to replace it with another similar model. They also thought it was weird for a crack to develop in that spot and had no explanation for it, other than saying that it was definitely not a common occurrence.
I remember one time discussing with a factory tech how I'd estimated I'd reached approx 45K rounds in my very early production 6906, and that while the frame was starting to show some noticeable peening and wear, that it was still cycling smoothly, both by hand and during live-fire, and wasn't exhibiting any functioning problems. The tech just chuckled and said that while they had improved their alloy frames over the years, and felt they were pretty durable, that back about the time my gun was built they'd never expected anyone to shoot that many rounds through one. He causally mentioned that if I ever wore it out so that it wouldn't function normally at some point, they'd replace it with another gun.
There's another forum member that sometimes visits here who used to work for the state police agency that essentially pioneered the use of the 115gr +P+ JHP for their M39's (and subsequent S&W alloy 9mm's). As I recall, his agency carried S&W's for close to 30 years (or more). He's sometimes related how a former instructor for that agency once tried to wear out a 2nd gen (459?) alloy 9mm by shooting their +P+ load, recording more than 50K rounds before his retirement. The gun remained serviceable and he apparently continued to shoot the gun after his retirement (he was allowed to keep the gun).
Now, sure, sometimes an alloy frame may crack or become worn to the point where it becomes unserviceable. It's not like it's steel, right? I have a copy of an older FBI FTU report dating from 87-88 where they tested a number of the then-current alloy framed service pistols available for LE use. Some of the 459's did develop frame cracks at the 10K point, or beyond, but so did at least one other major manufacturer's model. Without belaboring the other manufacturer's name, the report contains a comment about the president of the other firearms company being reported to have said that if the agency wanted a pistol with an alloy frame that would exceed the military specification for an acceptable service life, which was 5K rounds at that time, that the agency should state that requirement and a suitable alloy frame would be developed for their use. Apparently that happened at some point, because that make of pistol was later adopted for several years.
Personally, I think that if an alloy framed pistol made by one of today's respected makers is properly maintained that it ought to provide a pretty decent service life for most owners and users (meaning properly cleaned & lubricated, reasonable spring replacement and the ammunition selected meets the recommendations of the firearm maker, etc).
Now, a steel framed pistol generally ought to be even more resistant to wear and peening than an alloy gun when it comes to frame rail wear and barrel/frame contact points. I recall the FBI report listing their Brownings (used by HRT back then) as having provided service use exceeding 80K rounds, although there had naturally been some parts replacement involved (including barrels).
I try to spread out my shooting among the various guns I personally own. While I've lost count of the rounds fired through an early production Ruger KP90DC .45 (which has required replacement of a handful of parts, mostly for wear but one for breakage), most of my own alloy framed guns have only seen several thousand rounds fired.
My half dozen plastic framed guns have seen more shooting though them. (Maybe I just don't mind the thought of trying to wear out a plastic gun and replacing it. Maybe I don't mind using them 'harder' than my favorite alloy pistols. Dunno.
) Anyway, 3 of them have seen more than 10K rounds through them (some parts replacement for periodic maintenance). The others are coming along.
The guy with the cracked 3913TSW? His replacement gun has seen extensive use. I finally gave him a handful of recoil springs (and some mag springs) and told him to simply replace the recoil springs at least every 3-5K rounds and keep the gun lubricated. He's not going to 'take it easy' on that gun ... or any of his guns, for that matter.
He's fired over 20K rounds through a Colt Officer's since we had it 'redone' by a much more experienced Colt armorer. He cracked a barrel bushing between 10-12K, but it continued to do fine with a new bushing (and with normal maintenance) until he retired it after a little more than 20K rounds, in favor of a S&W pistol.
Last I heard he'd fired in excess of 60K rounds each through a pair of SW99's (one each 9/.40) and several thousand rounds through a SW99 40 compact. I just make sure to keep him in recoil and mag springs and perform some maintenance on his guns every year or two. I did have to replace a broken ejector in the standard size SW99 40 somewhere after he said he'd passed the 50K point, which isn't unreasonable, I'd think.
Bottom line? I don't abuse my alloy framed pistols, but then neither do I really worry about wearing them out anymore, either.
I don't have the definitive answer for you, though.
Perhaps a forum member who is a gunsmith or a former S&W employee might stop in and offer an opinion. My experience is obviously limited to that which I've seen while being an armorer for one smaller agency with only several hundred guns in service, and providing support for a handful of other cops and for my own guns.